Losing Your Self in Parenting

I read a lot of blogs and articles about parenting in my free time (you know, that 5 minutes you have between their bedtime and your bedtime). I was reading an article today about single parenting and 10 women weighed in on the difficult parts of being a single parent. One said it was hard not to lose your "self" in parenting and I thought, "Isn't that hard for everyone?" I mean it may be especially hard when you're the only parent, but I see it in parents who are still with their partner as well.

The "self" can be seen as the part of you that distinguishes you from others. As an adolescent, as a young adult, someone without kids, we are free to define that self as we please. Before I married Mike, before I had kids, I would have defined my self as a psychologist, as a therapist, as a professor, as a crafter (I have always loved to knit and create things from other things, like making a collage), as an academic (I always had my face buried in a book or an article), as a friend, and as a daughter. When I married Mike, I added "wife" to that list, and it changed how I thought about myself and how I thought about what I did. For example, when you go to the grocery store as a single person, you get whatever the hell you want, because why not right? It's you eating it. I used to eat Ramen Noodles and Black Bean Burgers with pepperjack cheese on a bun probably 3 nights a week. I'd buy wine and cosmopolitan mix (and good vodka) and have hair dying parties with lots of alcohol and a good friend as often as possible. Then I got married and even grocery shopping changed - now if I saw something new I wanted to try, I'd grab one, put it in my cart, then a thought would come up, "Maybe Mike might like that too?" so I'd try to find something he would like. It was an adjustment even in just that small area of my life. I read less and spent more time hanging out with my husband. I still used to bring work home with me in the form of papers to grade, and many nights I'd sit alone as he watched TV or while he was working, grading papers. But I'd feel guilty because I wasn't spending all my time with him. So I developed a way to not bring as much work home.

Then we had kids. Well we had Silas. I stayed home with Silas for the first 4 months or so because I had him during summer break. Mike still worked, so I spent a lot more time with Si than he did. I ended up being the one that got up and fed him and changed him. I investigated cloth diapers and started using them. I took him to all his appointments. I washed his diapers. I cooked. I cleaned. I was tired a lot (especially because newborns don't sleep long stretches like us adults need). Rather than going to the store and thinking about what do Mike and I want to eat, I ended up spending some time in the baby section now too. Clothes, formula, gear (swing? bouncer? toddler bed when?) then food (stage 1? stage 2? WTF? Where's my phone, I need to Google that stuff), cups (is he old enough for this one?), silverware, self-feeding, do we need different plates for this little dude? Becoming a parent, having "parent" become part of my self, how I saw myself, was very quick for me. And maybe it is more so for women than it is for men because they carry the baby, they nurse the baby (maybe, if they can), things like that.

But even now, three years after having our first child in April 2010, I'm still the one who does a bulk of what I think of as "parenting prep." I buy Silas' clothes and shoes. I look at Sage and figure out if he's ready to size up (and find the buckets of those clothes and wash them to get them ready for when he does size up). That reminds me, Silas needs 5T pants - it's gotten chilly here and I have 2 pairs of pants for him only. 5T is a B to find! I get home from work and start putting together dinners for everyone - the boys usually eat the same thing and Mike and I eat the same thing. I get pajamas ready so that when baths are done PJs and diapers are ready to go. I make sure post-bath milk cups are ready. I do the laundry so everyone has clean clothes. I clean up after dinner (sometimes with Mike, sometimes without). I wash diapers. I wash the boys' wool PJs. Mike does baths. We wrangle wet boys. They drink milk, watch a show, then we brush teeth and read a book. Then the bedtime struggle ensues (for Silas). Now it's, "But I have to poop!" He's gotten up to use the potty twice since I sat down to write this. Mike thinks it's a stall tactic but most nights he does actually poop.

That's me (not really)

So where is the "self" in all of this? I mean sure you can see how I define my self in relation to my children. I'm their Mommy, Momma, Mamama (Sage). I spend most of my time doing for others, and most days I'm fine with that. Every once in a while I wish I could go back to that time where I sat on my couch in my attic apartment in Providence, RI and knitted until I was tired and went to bed when I wanted to (rather than going to bed because everyone else is finally in bed and I'm quite literally brain exhausted). I go running some days. I exercise at least 30 minutes a day (but usually there's at least one child attempting to "help" or copy me). I blog (at 10 p.m. under a camouflage blanket where nobody can see me). I've been reading the same "for fun" book since June. And no it's not 1,000 pages long.

My kids aren't old enough yet for sports and we don't know enough kids for play dates, so I'm betting that the time I spend with them watching movies or playing dinosaurs (today it was rockets) will change and I'll spend my time driving them to and fro. I don't see the amount of time I have to spend on "me" or even with my husband changing any time soon. I wish I could change it just a little bit, but if I did I think I'd feel guilty. I work 40+ hours per week. Mike worked 55 hours last week. The boys hang with their nanny more than they do with us. We see them for an hour in the morning (and that's "get dressed and get your butts in the car") and three and a half hours at night, and that's it on the week days. Weekends we spend more time together, but I feel as if that's "make up" for all the time we didn't spend Monday - Friday.

In the end, as a parent, any parent, single or not, it's hard not to lose your self in parenting. It's hard to not focus on "being someone's Mom" and to instead focus on what you as a human, as an adult, want. I bet that's why people have trouble with "empty nest syndrome" or whatever you want to call it - once you don't have your kids to define you anymore, what do you do? Who are you? It's like you need to rebuild that self from the ground up.

What do you think that you can do to maintain some sense of "self" as a parent? Do you think it's possible?

What We Learned This Week - September 8th Edition

Another day another dollar...what did you learn this week?

Robyn: 

1. I've learned about a gadget update: I receive deals via email for local stuff. This week, I opened my inbox to find a car seat swivel tray on sale. Are you thinking car seat for a child? That's what I thought! So they can sit quietly in the backseat and eat their happy meal while mommy is driving with hands at 10 and 2, playing her favorite tunes! Hold up, that's not what's going down...EVER! (Just trying to be real here) Seriously, But NO! This is a seat swivel tray that attaches to the cup holders, that the driver can vegetate off of while commuting. To the purchasers of such ridiculousness: Eat up Fatties. Nobody will be surprised if you drive off a cliff while texting from your swivel tray, either! SMH.

2. I've learned how much busier life can get in the matter of a week. I got a call with a really good job offer starting in a few weeks (which puts 3 out of 4 kids in daycare, and time for running errands on the weekends, and finishing up my degree next year...) teenage turd has extra curricular stuff 3 nights a week, husband is finishing his masters degree (2 nights a week), and T-Ball starts in 3 weeks for kinder turd. I guess that leaves one thing for me to do...put on my cape and rock this! 

3. Last but not least, I've learned to take time for myself. Even if it's while the baby is napping during the week (that 'sleep when the baby does' advice is not for me!) 30-45 minutes of Insanity has given me a huge burst of energy throughout the day. Plus, i notice that the floor needs to be swept while doing pushups! Right after, I am like jello going up the stairs. But, it's motivation to not be a dent in the couch while lactic acid is building up in my muscles (that's where soreness comes from) I push through the workout and hmm...the house has been cleaner and laundry has been done since Tuesday! Imagine that! Plus, a mani-pedi Sat morning totally went down! Ahhh(sigh of relief), clean house and polished toes...this mama's in total bliss!!!

Lisa:

1. The girls were having a hard time with this move. They were very sad about the old house, so we got them to help with packing things into the truck, so they could get some sense of closure. They said their goodbyes to the house this morning and are asleep now in their new room in the new house. Feels good to know just how resilient they are. 

2. It's ok to take a break. Part of being pregnant is getting easily exhausted and for me a huge problem. I feel like I don't do enough, that I could be doing more to help out, and I find myself on the brink of exhaustion. With everything going on here, I realized that I was doing a lot and I should take it easier. I took some breaks but still a managed to help a bit. Now, if I could only find a long-lasting cure for cankles!! Yeah right. 

3. Neighbors are interesting people! Our old neighbors, which were awesome, could barely say bye to us today as we loaded our last boxes into the truck. We didn't realize how good we'd been as neighbors, until half our block came to wish us good luck. It was intense to say the least! At the new house, we met the new neighbors en masse and they were wonderful! They even brought us a treat as a welcome to the neighborhood. It felt nice but overwhelming to be welcomed that warmly. Always a good thing to learn that there are still really good people around. Now, if I could just figure out their quirks, we're in business.

Liz:
1) I've learned that I can sometimes be a hypocrite. My completed dissertation was due Friday (a schedule that I created myself at the start of this quarter). I got it submitted Friday at 4:22 p.m. I busted butt working on it all this week (even though I did work on it for about 30 minutes a day for the two weeks before that). A former student heard that I had submitted it just under the wire and said, "Huh Liz, you always tell us not to procrastinate but..." And she's right. For most things I'm not a procrastinator but for some reason I'm just tired of this dissertation. I'm ready to be DONE.

2) Sage (14 months) is droppin' the science on us - this kid is spitting out words left and right like it's no 'thang. This past week? Chicken, Mickey (Mouse), dog, ball, go (used contextually correctly), down...that's all I can think of for now. It's amazing how different two children from the same household can be. Silas said "ball" at 12 months and that was it for a while. Child #2 has the advantage of having three role models for language (and behavior) rather than just the 2 that Child #1 had.

3) After going back to work full time (after a summer of teaching just two online classes) I've realized I cannot keep up the pace I had during the summer. Laundry, dishes, cooking, diaper laundry (including wool washing and lanolinizing), grocery shopping, cleaning...after working 40+ hours (many from home at night) is not as simple as it was during the summer. I feel badly, but I'm considering finding someone to come clean the house once a week. Why do I feel bad? For some reason I feel as if I should be able to cut it myself (those damned "shoulds").

4) I need a motivator. Our race got cancelled (the race Robyn and I were supposed to run next Saturday). I'm bummed. Now we need to find another one to register for. I have to say this has slightly decreased my motivation to go running and work out in general. Bummer.

What about you, what have you learned this week?

Your Exercise Play List

Last week we asked readers on our Facebook page to participate in an activity where we asked people to give us a list of their favorite exercise/running songs. Here's the list they came up with.

Kelly Clarkson- Stronger Sabotage - Beastie Boys DJ Khaled - All I do is win

Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins

Reel 2 Real - I like to move it

Pink - Fun house

Taylor Swift - Trouble

Eminem - My First Single

C&C Music Factory - make you sweat

Champion by Kanye West

Party Rock Anthem

Black Eyed Peas - Pump It

Sevendust-black

Sandstorm - Darude

We Own It (2 Chainz and Wiz Khalifa)

Blurred Lines - Robin Thicke

Bowling for Soup - 1985

John Mellencamp - Hurts so good

What would you add to the list? What gets you moving?

Music Party (with Prizes)!

This evening (9 E/8 C) we’ll be playing a quick game where you could be entered to win one of two $10 iTunes gift cards. All you have to do is suggest songs for an exercise/running playlist on the thread on our Facebook page. Once we “close” the game at 10 p.m. Eastern, 9 p.m. Central, we’ll randomly choose two participants to win (using Random.org). By providing us with a song you are indicating that you would like to be entered into the drawing. Winners will be contacted and need to provide their email address for the gift card to be sent.

First, make sure that you like our Facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/mamaaroundthehouse

Then at 9 p.m. Eastern/8 p.m. Central, come hang out on the page. We’ll announce the start of the game and ask you to post at least one song (title and artist) for a running/exercise playlist. These songs will be published as a list on a future blog post as well (and we’ll probably use them as we train for our 5K in September).

Want extra entries? Tweet about the game (tagging @MamaArndThHouse) and provide the link to our blog post about the game. Tweets must be sent prior to 9:30 p.m. Eastern/8:30 p.m. Central to count.

A possible Tweet looks like this: 
 
Love #free #music? Come play tonight at 9E/8C! @MamaArndThHouse http://mamaaroundthehouse.blogspot.com/2013/08/music-party-with-prizes.html

Things I Learned This Week

Things I learned this week:

1) Buying a new car freaks me out. Daddy and I are looking into buying a new car. If everything goes well with financing we will have a new (larger) family member Monday evening. Filling out the financing application and talking to someone about handing the Prius over as a trade made me anxious. Does buying a new car make everyone anxious? I've always felt kind of uneasy about it. Maybe it's the idea that I'll buy this new car and then see another one I want (or the same car cheaper), like, two days later. If all goes well, photo to come this week...

2) Sending Silas out to do #anotherSaturdayouting without me makes me sad. Saturday he went to the duck pond, playground, and out for lunch with Uncles Nic and Carlos. He had a blast. I stayed home with Sage while Daddy worked. I think I have to learn that these outings are not about me and Silas (or me and Sage). They're about the kids having fun, no matter who is the adult along for the ride. I need to get over myself.

Silas feeding ducks

3) Running shoe inserts are more expensive than the sneakers. Well not really, but I spent $115 on shoes and $45 on the inserts. What the what?! Of course the inserts weren't marked. And of course I didn't ask. I got gotten by The Man.

4) These things are awesome. You need to make them. They're apple/croissant/sugar/cinnamon goodness. The recipe makes 8. They were gone in less than 45 minutes. I may have eaten 4.

Apple goodness. Make thiisssssss.

5) This little boy is learning crazy things. Sage is 1 (well 13 months, whatever). He has learned to "hop" his high chair. This thing started out in front of the table. This child needs heavy monitoring.

Look Mom, I hop!

What did you learn this week? Anything fun you want to share?

You Did What?!

While I haven't been writing about it, I've still been running. Once I got my heart shiz under control I went back to the C25K program because I really do enjoy it. Who wouldn't? You get to get out of the house, you get exercise, endorphins, whoo hoo! Sadly for me, some meds I take are the kind you're supposed to avoid sun exposure with, so running in the Texas heat + these meds = bright red skin that feels as if I have ants biting every square inch. That's if I don't get every square inch with SPF 70 active sun block. Yay. Thankfully I have another month and a half of these meds and I'm out. Oh wait, that's when summer ends. D'oh!

So wait, what did I do? Long story rather quick - I post running updates to Twitter. A friend who does 5ks plus other stuff that I would never sign up for in my life like Tough Mudder...mud...shudder. Anyway...she responded to a tweet that I should sign up for a 5k. I replied that I would look around for one. She said that signing up for one motivates you. D, don't take this the wrong way, but, *eye roll* Sure, I'll sign up for one (not). I really wasn't intending to.

I told my friend Robyn (who just had a baby and was super fit after Air Force training) that I had started running again and every once in a while she asks how it's going. It's going. I'm still running, and that's good right? I told her what D said about the 5k. She said she wanted to do one of those "color runs." Well. It just so happens that I did Google 5ks in San Antonio and there was a color-type run September 14. In a "I'll do it if you do it" moment of teen girl Truth or Dare weakness, we signed up.

Ahhhhhh!

Today is Sunday, July 21. We have 55 days (not counting the day of the race) to get ready. Suggestions?

Send Me Back to Work

It's summer. I'm a college professor. That means I either teach extra classes or...I have no idea what, I've always taught extra classes. I never knew what I'd do with myself.

Enter this summer.

Self-shaming (not the housewife type)

Two online classes and no "face-to-face" work makes Mommy cook, clean, and generally act like a housewife. I'm not sure how you feel about that, but it's so not me. I've been working on my dissertation and transcribing interviews, I've been working out (a lot it feels like - do you follow me on Fitocracy or on Twitter? If not, you should, I know you're creepy like that - see the sidebar), I've been planning weekend adventures for the boyz (see posts with #anothersaturdayouting tagged to see what all we do), and, like, hardcore cooking dinner. Meal planning with my laptop going hardcore, printing stuff out, making weekly schedules of food (no I'm not joking). It's kind of cray-cray.

I need to go back to work. Send me back to the land of the college students. Please.

Where Are the Running Posts?!

You may notice that I haven't been posting my C25K progress recently. "Well, why not woman?!" you say.

When you start an exercise program everyone tells you, "Check with your doctor to make sure you're able to exercise." And I did. No really, no joke, I did. She cleared me to start running. Cool. Then when I started running for longer periods (5 minutes or more straight running) my heart started doing wonky things. Now obviously running is cardio exercise, it will affect the heart, go through it, that's what my brain said. When I went for my 6 month check up, my doctor disagreed and sent me to my cardiologist whom I haven't seen since 2009. We saw that under stress, my valves don't function properly and cause leakage. This caused both my strange rhythms while running and my strange random rhythms at rest. Ah, I see, said this blind man (or woman).

So I am to lay off the running until we get this under control. I can walk, which I've been doing, but "refrain from extended cardio activity."

Shut Up to "I'll just run tomorrow..."

Last week on Monday Sage had a doctor's appointment when I'm usually running. "I'll just run Tuesday," I said. I ran Tuesday. Wednesday I had to get ready to fly to FL for a conference (Thursday through Saturday). "I'll run Thursday at the hotel," I told myself. I packed my gym clothes and my sneaks. Ready to run.

Except when I got to the hotel the "gym" was as large as my back patio and had two machines - a treadmill and a stepper. What?! But it's open 24 hours, the sign said. Except the problem was that when I was awake and not at the conference, there was always someone running. Damnit. And I didn't feel comfortable running the streets because I didn't know them (or the neighborhood).

Needless to say, I did not run at all during my trip except to cross the street and not get hit. To make me feel extra crappy about not running, I met a textbook author who gets up at 3:30 am to run 15 miles and write for 2 hours before he starts his day. I'm not joking. The man is a machine. He offered to run with me one morning but, well, I declined. LoL

This today was my first day back on the sidewalks. Since I hadn't run in a bit, I downshifted to Week 4 Day1's schedule so as to not hurt myself and to build back up what I had lost. It wasn't too bad although my knees disagreed with the starting back. We can't win them all.

While I may be behind, I'm still going to finish C25K. And I won't get up at 3:30 to do it.

C25K Week 5 Day 1 - A little late, but that's OK

I actually ran day 1 of week 5 on Tuesday. Monday was just a train wreck around these parts. I taught my two classes, had office hours, helped some students plan our their academic lives, and then ran to pick up Sage from school so we could go to a doctor's appointment. The appointment was supposed to be quick, in and out. We got there at 2:15 and left at 3:15. Not quick in my book. Home by 3:45, and Sage was asleep by 3:48. Daddy got home and I went to pick up Silas at school at 4:20. So there was really very little daylight left to actually get outside and run on Monday.

Tuesday I left work at 2:45 and was able to get my run in before we had to leave to pick up the boys. Mind you, Daddy went by himself so I could cool down and shower, but I was technically done (and smelly and covered in sweat and sunscreen) by 4:20. Today's run was 3 sets of 5 minutes of running (spaced by 3 minutes of walking). The first two runs I was OK, but by the third I really just wanted to be done. Everything was tired. I think that's part of my overall feeling of tired too though. But I finished. I ran for 15 minutes today. Whew.

This week the program actually changes every day. The next time I run (probably Thursday) there will be sets involving 8 minutes of running. Eep. And Thursday and Saturday I will run on a treadmill for the first time since I'll be at a conference and staying at a hotel in Florida. I hope there's not too many buttons. I can just imagine myself programming the thing to do hills the entire time or something.

C25K Week 4 Day 3 - Success!

After my knee problems with W4D2, I was excited but concerned about today's run. I'd been stretching and working on my knee muscles, so I felt better about that. I reviewed the KT Tape placement for the knee and wrapped up both of my knees. Seemed pretty easy.

As I was starting to run, I felt the tape on my left knee start to give, so I stopped and fixed it. By the time I was done, both of the outside knee strips were secured to the inside of my sweat pants. Perhaps this is not designed for running under pants? Perhaps I didn't put enough pressure on it as I put it on? Who knows.

But with the KT Tape that stayed I did feel some support and was able to finish the whole workout. Next week is three sets of 5 minutes of running with 2.5 minutes of walking between them. I think I can do that.

C25K Week 4 Day 2 - And then it happened...

I have been waiting for this day for the past three weeks and change. It is the day that finally, something in my body (ahem, my damned knees) decided it was not going to play nice anymore. And I did NOT complete my goal for the day. I will be the first to admit it. I did my three minutes of running, 2.5 minutes of walking, 5 minutes of running, 2.5 minutes of walking, and then during that 2nd 3-minute run I literally couldn't get myself to pick up the pace and kept slowing down...down...down...until the pain was to the point where I stopped running and started walking. I walked through the rest of that run, walked through the walk, and started the 2nd five-minute run. I got about 1.5 minutes into it before the pain picked back up again. I walked the rest of my workout and sighed heavily.

When I got home I stretched some and sat down to ice both of my knees. I have to say that being severely over-tired thanks to a certain someone not sleeping through the night may have contributed to my body being overall overtired. And Wednesdays are my busy day (5:20 wake up, teach two classes, office hours, go home and run, shower, pick up boys, dinner, relax, baths, bed, wine...oh wait...). And on Monday I ran on hills and that definitely didn't help.

So what's the plan, Stan? Keep icing my knees. Stretch more. Strength building exercises more. KT Tape the heck out of my knees. And of course, hit it again on Friday. Perhaps repeat Week 4 next week if I think I need to. But definitely not quit.

C25K Week 4 Day 1

Wait, did I just type Week 4?! I did! Wow. It's been three weeks plus since I started running. That's kind of awesome.

This morning Sage (7 months) woke me up at 6:15 a.m. so I thought, "Screw it, let's get up." By 10:45 I had dropped the boys off, grocery shopped, and put up the groceries (including packaging the chicken for freezing and cutting up two bunches of celery for snacking). I wanted to run before lunch time, so I stretched and got myself ready (while Daddy was still in bed mind you). I stretched more than I have on previous days because I knew what was in store - two sets of five minutes of running and two sets of three minutes of running. Only three minutes of walking in the whole workout. Eep.

The three-minutes sets were easier today than previously, so I think my legs are getting used to them. The five-minute sets, well...I did them and I didn't stop running during them. I may have slowed down considerably at some points, but I was still moving faster than walking so I call that a win. It should get easier this week.

I started off my workout with such an awesome feeling. I was clear, it was nice out, and I was really enjoying it. The app I use for C25K when I open it has suggestions (and a motivational quote) and the suggestion today was to run a different route so you don't get bored. Well, OK. My neighborhood is an ant's nest of streets so I could surely find another route. Note to self - when you choose another route, make sure you know what it looks like, hills-wise. Because when you don't it may not work out well. Yeah, the street I chose, I drive it all the time...but I've never walked or run it. I turned down it and looked at how it changed to uphill and almost turned around. But I didn't. Now the second street I chose had a way easier uphill, less steep, and it was easier to maintain my motivation looking at that one.

For you seasoned runners, give me some suggestions for hills. Because I don't think crying about them is going to get me anywhere quickly.

C25K W3D3 - Still Pounding Pavement

I know it's sad to say this, but I'm still here. I'm still running and keeping up with the C25K program. Did I not expect to be able to complete week 3? You bet ya. As I've said previously, exercise anything and me go way back but we see each other rarely. We'll hang out for a bit, I'll find better things to do, and won't come back. Walking, yoga, weight training...I've tried it all and mayyyyybe kept at it for two weeks. Except walking. When I was single and had nothing better to do I walked every day. But it wasn't really strenuous; it was more like meditating while moving.

But anyway. I'm still running. And I'm super proud of that fact. If you're doing the C25K this year and you're still with it you should be too. We're rocking this. If you've fallen behind or stopped, that doesn't mean that you can't start again. You didn't fail. You paused. Big difference. Get back on it.

So today's run wasn't bad. Everything felt tight which means, a) it's getting worked, and b) I need to stretch more. Good and will do. It's starting to get warmer in Texas - I should rephrase - it was warmer today.  In Texas you can wait 30 minutes and the weather might change. It was 42 this morning. The boys wore hats to school. I ran at 11:45 and had to put my hat away after 5 minutes of walking because I was too hot. I think it made it to 72 today. So yeah - running in warmer weather is going to be interesting. I'm not sure I'm ready to not be wearing sweat pants, an exercise tank, a fleece sweatshirt, and my fleece jacket yet. But I'll adapt. I mean, last week I was worried about running 3 minutes straight and I did it all three days this week without a horrible incident. So I guess I can run without all the layers and not feel weird. Some day soon.

Next week's program doubles up this week's again. Run 3 minutes, walk 90 seconds, run 5 minutes, walk 2.5 minutes, run 3 minutes, walk 90, run 5 minutes. I should say "then die," but it doesn't so I'm going to assume that just like this week I'm going to be OK. As this week's run ended and viewed next week's schedule I thought, "I'm not sure my knees are ready for that." Perhaps this weekend I will try out the KT Tape Erin suggested - I'll practice so that Monday I don't wrap myself head to toe and need medical assistance.

C25K Week 3 Day 2 - What a Day

You know when you have those days where it feels like you did everything and then some and you STILL made yourself find time to run?

Yeah, that day was today.

Got up, showered, met a friend at the local cloth diaper store, shopped a little (shh), and then went to work. Left work, went home, ran, showered, picked up the boys, brought them home, met Daddy, and then left to go to a three-hour work meeting. By the time I got home it was 8:45 and Silas was ready to brush teeth and Sage was already asleep in his bouncer. Sigh. It was cute, I told Silas when I put him to bed that I missed him tonight and he told me, "I miss you Momma." Aww.

What today proved to me though is that even in the midst of chaos, I can still find time to reach my goal of finishing C25K. It may not be the most fun day, but it CAN (and will) be done. I do have to say that having a time limit on my run (must have time to shower before I go pick up the boys and thus I only have X number of minutes to do this) made it less enjoyable. It was more about getting it done than enjoying the experience. And I didn't get to stretch as much as I wanted to before starting, so everything felt a little tight. I did make sure to stretch and roll my calves when I got home though. The whole run took me shorter than I expected so I had more time than I thought I would.

Not ideal, but I got it done. And I ran for three minutes straight twice again today. Pretty sweet. I have not looked ahead to next week's schedule yet. I'm kind of dreading it...I'll do it. But I'm dreading it LoL

C25K Week 3 Day 1 - I Made It!

Today is Monday, so that means that my running schedule changed according to the C25K app I have. This week is run 90 seconds, walk 90, run 3 minutes, walk 3 minutes, and repeat. Last Friday I was kind of freaking out about the run 3 minutes part. When I started my run today I wasn't exactly excited to try running for three minutes, but I knew that I was going to do it no matter how I felt about it. After I was done I'd see how I did and see if maybe I should repeat last week's run (run 90, walk 90, repeat) instead.

I have to say I was pleasantly surprised with myself. The first part (run 90/walk 90) wasn't as bad as it was last week. I think maybe because I knew run 3 minutes was coming up that I expected it to be longer and was surprised when my 90 seconds ended. Then came the three minutes. And I did it! I pushed myself to keep running, even if it was at a slower pace, just to complete it, and I did. No cheating (walking when I'm supposed to run) at all. It wasn't the most pleasant experience, but as I've done before I forced myself to not check the clock to see how much time I had left and just run.

As I finished today's sets I felt accomplished and pretty proud of myself. I know for some people that running for three minutes (twice) is a small feat, but to me it's pretty big. I mean, I'm a person who has walked miles for exercise but never was able to jog for any extended period of time. Three minutes is a lot, and I'm looking forward to doing it again on Wednesday - soon running for 3 minutes will be as easy as running for 60 seconds in the first week (I hope)!

Thank you everyone for all the encouragement last week - it really helped :)

C25K W2D3 I was fine until...

I finished my run today and thought, "Meh. That was ok. I wonder if I should repeat week 2 since my knees and calves aren't feeling ready for more." Then I did my Friday "ritual" (of two weeks mind you) of checking next week's run schedule to get my brain thinking about the change.

Oh. My. God.

Seriously? Run 90, walk 90, run for 3 MINUTES, walk for three minutes, and then repeat that?!?! 3 minutes?!?! I already want to decide to repeat week 2 just because that freaks me out. That's double the time I ran this week and my knees and calves already slowed down at about 80 seconds this week.

So here's my plan. I will do W3D1 Monday. If it doesn't work out well, I'll go back to W2D2 and D3 for next week and see if that helps. Hopefully that will be enough to get me to feel better about a full week three after that. But if Monday goes well then I'll do W3D2 and D3.

C25K W2D2 All Systems Tired

It was a rainy day today. Total motivation sapper. But it did stop raining for a bit around 11 am so I decided to kick my ass outside and get my run in. You don't have to be excited to run every day, right? You just have to do it.

As soon as I started warming up every currently moving part of my body cussed at me. As if an "All Systems Failure" light should come on, my hips, knees, calves...you name it...were unhappy all at once. But just like when you're driving, I kept walking and they simmered down.

I noticed that my calves felt tight around the same place in my run that they did Monday. I stepped off a curb and there they were. Note to self - don't be running and step down a curb. Maybe that will make for a happier Friday run. Who knows.

Pink!

I did get some KT Tape today as suggested by my awesome running mentor Erin. Now to figure out how to use it correctly to support my knees! If you've never seen their instructional videos, check them out. I imagine myself covered in tape head to toe and not able to move LoL

If you're doing the C25K too, keep at it! We're doing a great job :)

C25K Week 2 Day 1 - Someone Did a Mean Thing

I was so excited to run today. I was thinking last night that running again after 2 days off would probably be a little harder, but I forgot to add in the fact that on Mondays there's more running than last week.

Week two of C25K is 90 seconds of running and 2 minutes of walking, alternating. I have to say my legs were thankful for those two minutes today. Last Friday I thought I was ready for a little more running, but by my third alternation today my calves were cussing me out when I ran. They felt like bricks or as if I had weights on my ankles. By that point though the nice lady on my app would say, "Begin walking."

Oh. Thank. God.

Wednesday will be better. It must be!