Flashlight Friends Review

Silas: Oh Mommy...is that a dragon?

Me: It is bud. And it's just for you. Your very own flashlight.

Silas: Reawwy??

My son is three and a half. He is fascinated with flashlights. He loves turning out all the lights and "hunting for treasure" with a flashlight all around the house. I don't mind usually, it's fun. But one night I found a hot flashlight in his blanket when I did blanket checks before I went to bed, and that was the end of that. Most flashlights get hot when left on, and can cause a hazard.

Enter the Flashlight Friend. I received this product from Idea Village to review and the information in this post is my honest and personal review.

Flashlight Friends - Dragon

The first night we had him, Silas took his Friend to bed with him. Usually he's up two or three times before he falls asleep. He didn't get up once (and I checked, he was looking around his room with the flashlight). 

Silas and his Dragon

Silas loves his dragon. And I do too. Here's why. This thing has some great features. The light is an LED which is cool to the touch. It goes off by itself after 10 minutes. I personally found it slightly difficult to turn on the first time (you push the light twice) but my son took it and turned it on in two seconds. Mommy's feeling slightly techno-delayed.

Bright light but cool to the touch

The Flashlight Friend comes in four options: the Dragon (what Silas received), Penguin, Unicorn, and Puppy. My youngest son has been toting the Dragon around the house as well using the handle on the back that's the perfect size for little hands to hold on to it. I have a feeling that the youngest has informed us of his Christmas wish.

Super soft and apparently a good hugger

Flashlight Friends can be purchased online and in-store for about $19.99. They require three AAA batteries (which are not included). When we received this the only concern I had was safety - I feared someone might whack a sibling (ahem Silas) with the Dragon but the parts for the light are inside of all the squishyness. I tried throwing it at my husband. He was unscathed.

Overall I would definitely suggest this toy. My sons enjoy it, and if you have a child who is afraid of the dark then this could be very helpful. It can also be used in the car when it gets dark for entertaining the Littles on drives.

Which do you think your child would enjoy most - the Dragon, the Penguin, the Unicorn, or the Puppy? Would it be something they'd be interested in? 

I received this product from Idea Village to review and the information in this post came from my honest and personal review.

Potty Training The Boy: The Light at the End of the Potty TrainingTunnel

The light at the end of the potty training tunnel is definitely my kid playing with a damned flashlight. Get this. He's been pee trained for about 6 months as long as he's wearing "unnerwear." But if someone puts a diaper of some sort on him, all pees are off. He'll just pee in the pull-up, diaper, whatever.

Too cool for the potty

Poop on the other hand. My lord. For months he was scared of the big potty he said. So we got a little potty. Wouldn't do anything in that either. For reals young man? And toddler poop is like Super Ew.

Finally something clicked and he used the little potty and nobody died. He told me once he didn't use the big potty because he didn't want to get sucked into the tank. "Your ass won't fit down the hole," I wanted to tell him. Instead I reassured him that that wasn't possible.

For about 5 days there was only potty poopage and it was awesome. Then there was An Accident. And another. Oh for Christ's sake, really?? You were rockin' out man!

Today I made him sit on the little potty when I knew it was about time (men, so predictable). He cried and cried and pooped twice and oh hey wait, that wasn't so bad!

Eyeroll.

Please Big Boy. Please. For all that is sacred and holy. Stop turning off the flashlight. Just be a potty pooper already.

Losing Your Self in Parenting

I read a lot of blogs and articles about parenting in my free time (you know, that 5 minutes you have between their bedtime and your bedtime). I was reading an article today about single parenting and 10 women weighed in on the difficult parts of being a single parent. One said it was hard not to lose your "self" in parenting and I thought, "Isn't that hard for everyone?" I mean it may be especially hard when you're the only parent, but I see it in parents who are still with their partner as well.

The "self" can be seen as the part of you that distinguishes you from others. As an adolescent, as a young adult, someone without kids, we are free to define that self as we please. Before I married Mike, before I had kids, I would have defined my self as a psychologist, as a therapist, as a professor, as a crafter (I have always loved to knit and create things from other things, like making a collage), as an academic (I always had my face buried in a book or an article), as a friend, and as a daughter. When I married Mike, I added "wife" to that list, and it changed how I thought about myself and how I thought about what I did. For example, when you go to the grocery store as a single person, you get whatever the hell you want, because why not right? It's you eating it. I used to eat Ramen Noodles and Black Bean Burgers with pepperjack cheese on a bun probably 3 nights a week. I'd buy wine and cosmopolitan mix (and good vodka) and have hair dying parties with lots of alcohol and a good friend as often as possible. Then I got married and even grocery shopping changed - now if I saw something new I wanted to try, I'd grab one, put it in my cart, then a thought would come up, "Maybe Mike might like that too?" so I'd try to find something he would like. It was an adjustment even in just that small area of my life. I read less and spent more time hanging out with my husband. I still used to bring work home with me in the form of papers to grade, and many nights I'd sit alone as he watched TV or while he was working, grading papers. But I'd feel guilty because I wasn't spending all my time with him. So I developed a way to not bring as much work home.

Then we had kids. Well we had Silas. I stayed home with Silas for the first 4 months or so because I had him during summer break. Mike still worked, so I spent a lot more time with Si than he did. I ended up being the one that got up and fed him and changed him. I investigated cloth diapers and started using them. I took him to all his appointments. I washed his diapers. I cooked. I cleaned. I was tired a lot (especially because newborns don't sleep long stretches like us adults need). Rather than going to the store and thinking about what do Mike and I want to eat, I ended up spending some time in the baby section now too. Clothes, formula, gear (swing? bouncer? toddler bed when?) then food (stage 1? stage 2? WTF? Where's my phone, I need to Google that stuff), cups (is he old enough for this one?), silverware, self-feeding, do we need different plates for this little dude? Becoming a parent, having "parent" become part of my self, how I saw myself, was very quick for me. And maybe it is more so for women than it is for men because they carry the baby, they nurse the baby (maybe, if they can), things like that.

But even now, three years after having our first child in April 2010, I'm still the one who does a bulk of what I think of as "parenting prep." I buy Silas' clothes and shoes. I look at Sage and figure out if he's ready to size up (and find the buckets of those clothes and wash them to get them ready for when he does size up). That reminds me, Silas needs 5T pants - it's gotten chilly here and I have 2 pairs of pants for him only. 5T is a B to find! I get home from work and start putting together dinners for everyone - the boys usually eat the same thing and Mike and I eat the same thing. I get pajamas ready so that when baths are done PJs and diapers are ready to go. I make sure post-bath milk cups are ready. I do the laundry so everyone has clean clothes. I clean up after dinner (sometimes with Mike, sometimes without). I wash diapers. I wash the boys' wool PJs. Mike does baths. We wrangle wet boys. They drink milk, watch a show, then we brush teeth and read a book. Then the bedtime struggle ensues (for Silas). Now it's, "But I have to poop!" He's gotten up to use the potty twice since I sat down to write this. Mike thinks it's a stall tactic but most nights he does actually poop.

That's me (not really)

So where is the "self" in all of this? I mean sure you can see how I define my self in relation to my children. I'm their Mommy, Momma, Mamama (Sage). I spend most of my time doing for others, and most days I'm fine with that. Every once in a while I wish I could go back to that time where I sat on my couch in my attic apartment in Providence, RI and knitted until I was tired and went to bed when I wanted to (rather than going to bed because everyone else is finally in bed and I'm quite literally brain exhausted). I go running some days. I exercise at least 30 minutes a day (but usually there's at least one child attempting to "help" or copy me). I blog (at 10 p.m. under a camouflage blanket where nobody can see me). I've been reading the same "for fun" book since June. And no it's not 1,000 pages long.

My kids aren't old enough yet for sports and we don't know enough kids for play dates, so I'm betting that the time I spend with them watching movies or playing dinosaurs (today it was rockets) will change and I'll spend my time driving them to and fro. I don't see the amount of time I have to spend on "me" or even with my husband changing any time soon. I wish I could change it just a little bit, but if I did I think I'd feel guilty. I work 40+ hours per week. Mike worked 55 hours last week. The boys hang with their nanny more than they do with us. We see them for an hour in the morning (and that's "get dressed and get your butts in the car") and three and a half hours at night, and that's it on the week days. Weekends we spend more time together, but I feel as if that's "make up" for all the time we didn't spend Monday - Friday.

In the end, as a parent, any parent, single or not, it's hard not to lose your self in parenting. It's hard to not focus on "being someone's Mom" and to instead focus on what you as a human, as an adult, want. I bet that's why people have trouble with "empty nest syndrome" or whatever you want to call it - once you don't have your kids to define you anymore, what do you do? Who are you? It's like you need to rebuild that self from the ground up.

What do you think that you can do to maintain some sense of "self" as a parent? Do you think it's possible?

It's All Fun and Games Until...

I have spent the last year watching my boys start to interact (rather than Silas ignore Sage and Sage gaze adoringly at Silas). Today Sage learned to climb on the couch and the arm chair in the living room. He got himself up in the chair, sat all the way back, and started trying to rock it back and forth. The jerky motion attracted Silas who was playing trains. Silas stood behind the chair on a windowsill and pushed Sage's chair so Sage was rocking back and forth. He was of course giggling and Silas was yelling, "Whoa! Whoa!" It was cute to see them interact until I thought of two things.

Mommy and Boys

One, this could go badly and I should stop it. Sage could fall out of the chair, Silas could fall off the windowsill, the window could break...OK let's stop.

Second, I realized that Silas wasn't trying to make his brother laugh. He pushed faster and faster and Sage almost fell out of the chair numerous times before we stopped. Silas was trying to dump his brother. 

Sigh. So much for thinking they were being cute.

I had no siblings. Is this animosity towards a younger sibling normal? What did you and your siblings do to each other as kids?

Top Ten Mommy Student Experiences

I'm currently finishing my PhD in psychology. I'm actually finishing up my dissertation. The quick and dirty on that is that I've done a research study, gathered my data, written a large chunk of a book (which will end up about 200 pages), and now I'm finishing up my last two chapters. My first draft of my final two chapters was due last Friday. So what do you experience as a student Mommy?

1. You're working on your school work and the 3 year old comes in and finds a loose sheet of paper and grabs a marker. You can either give up and escort him out or risk him coloring something important. Either way, something bad is going to happen. There will be a tantrum if you try to uproot the child or you'll have a colored on study guide. You give up. For now.

2. It's easiest to do school work when the kids are in bed, for sure. But by 8:30 pm you're so tired because the 1 year old was up 4 times last night with a fever that you're more interested in sleep.

3. You lay in bed feeling guilty for not doing your homework tonight. 

4. You've broken 3 DVRs because you've overloaded them with your shows and kid shows. You intended to watch your shows but realize you're three weeks behind on The Glades and Perception and they've both ended for the summer.

5. You feel badly asking your significant other to watch the kids so you can work.

6. When you do take off to work you are barraged with calls of "Where's mommy? Mommmmmyyyy! Where arrrre you?"

7. Cooking dinner while reading a journal article seemed like a good idea at the time. Then you're frustrated, dinner's burned, the kids are screaming, "I wanna watch Mike the Knight!" and you're ordering pizza. And nobody got jack done.

8. Reading period. Now that's a joke. I took Advanced Inferential Statistics and wanted ball gags for everyone else and noise canceling headphones for myself. Instead you learn to skim while sitting on the toilet for 5 minutes until the small hand comes under the bathroom door. "Mommy?"

9. Cleaning involves running the vacuum on Saturday before the 1 year old's 11 am nap and the 3 year old's 1 pm nap. You are chased around the house by two dogs who decide to eat the vacuum and two little boys who cover their ears and cry. You vacuum around things rather than move them because really, who does that anyway? Every time you clean you think about how you should be studying and ponder hiring a cleaning service. Then you think about how you'd be embarrassed and feel the need to clean before the cleaner got there and really, that's just silly.

10. "Mommy you sit an watch Toy Story with me?" I can't today baby boy, Mommy has to do work. Guilt. Sadness. Remember, you're doing this to be a good role model and to provide for the Small People. So says your brain. But you still feel like crap.

Are you a Mommy or Daddy Student? What experiences have you had recently that I didn't put on the list?

Techy Parent and Techy Policies

I'm the type of person that loves my tech...sometimes too much. Macbook Pro, iPhone 5, Google Nexus 7 tablet (what no iPad?!). While I've never been an early tech adopter, I'm a "pretty quickly" adopter, so I've tried a lot and I'm also willing to let something go if it's not meeting my needs. I have, let's just say, a very active eBay account. If something doesn't work for me, it goes. I won't sit on it (except my first Dell laptop which is a useless paperweight which I still can't get myself to get rid of).

As a parent and a parent who thinks about how they parent intentionally, this brings up a good question - how do you juggle tech and kids? Do you put policies in place (no cell phones at the dinner table), do you have "times" (cell phones only after the kids go to bed), do you integrate tech (even the kids have their own iPads and can order kiddy Netflicks if they so choose)...there are lots of options and lots of questions that you wrestle with as a parent. I really try to think, "What am I teaching my sons by doing this?" If I'm watching a movie with them and am on Facebook messaging with the other Mamas, what am I saying to my 3-year-old?

My personal policy is to try to avoid social media type tech when my kids are awake and playing with me. If they're playing together I may hop on my phone and check FB or my email (especially over the weekend when my students have these huge horrific problems - I call it "being on fire" and Mike jokes that I have to check to make sure my students aren't on fire). If they're napping...usually I'm napping, but if I'm not I can be found working on a blog post or cruising mommy blogs.

What I don't want my kids to learn is that this "other stuff" comes before them. Now, don't get me wrong, if I'm typing an email to my Dad and Silas comes up wanting something RIGHT NOW I will definitely give him the, "I'm typing to Grandpa and will be done in one minute. If you can wait one minute, I will help you. Thank you for being patient with me." But unless absolutely necessary I never want to appear to my kids that "this thing" is more important than what's going on in front of me or around me. I want to be as present as possible, especially right now when these little boys have such amazing stories to tell me.

What's your parenting and tech policy? Do you think technology has influenced your relationships with your children or spouse for the better or for the worse?

I said No (and I Meant It)

You probably know at least one person who has this problem saying no, either at work or at home (or with their unruly kids). Erm look in the mirror - is that the person you were thinking of?

It is for me. Here's my problem: my brain wants to be busy (so yeah to all requests!) but my mental energy, my personality, needs a break every day. I can't go go go. I can't. I go to conferences for work and it's just people people people back to back insane and there's Liz...taking a break in her room.

If my calendar has one "extra" item (extra meaning not the classes I teach or office hours), I'm OK. Two extras...mmm three...errrr. Any higher and I go home and feel as if I have nothing left to give anyone. And this feeling of anxiety sits by my lungs and I just want to sit somewhere quiet by myself.

So that's the first problem. Here's the second: I'm apparently competent when I do say yes. People keep asking me to do stuff. Even when I'm not on contract (such as during the summer) I get asked to do stuff. 

And that leads to the third problem - I tend to say yes to everything people ask me to do (because I feel guilty if I don't). After Sage was born, I started recognizing how my behaviors influenced my stress and that influenced my home life, my stress, and my boys. Not cool.

If this is you too, how can we avoid the Over Yes-ing (when possible)? First, keep your calendar(s) up to date. I have my work Outlook, my Gmail (personal), and my paper schedule book (I love laper for some reason) all synced and updated. That way if anyone asks if I can do X, I can check what else I've got going on that day. If there's a conflict or it would send you over the edge energy-wise, suggest moving the date to a day you have clear (or clear-er). If that's not possible, think about the necessity of this event. You may be thinking, "Couldn't that take some time?" And you'd be right, so saying, "Let me get back to you by 3 pm by email" would give you that time to think about your role in this activity. Are you necessary? If not, would it be a work or career foible to say no? Is this an annual thing, could you offer to do the next one but just not this one? Could someone else do it (and stop thinking "but I'd do it better" - we're talking about decreasing your over-scheduling here). 

If the answers of the Magic 8Ball indicate that you must go, see if you can move around anything else that's scheduled. Tell your spouse that any expectations of you for that day are going to get sacked because you may be left with nothing energy-wise. Better yet, discuss with them your conundrum before agreeing to it (if possible). I am usually the one who picks up the boys after daycare - if I know my day is full, I will warn Mike and ask him what he wants fast-food wise for dinner.

How Do We Love Two Children?

Silas love

Silas was my first son. He was born in 2010 and we spent almost two years becoming "bess frens" (best friends) before his brother, Sage, was born in 2012. If I had to say Silas was more attached to one parent, I would say he was my right hip and Mike (my husband) would agree. For months I wondered if we should have a second child, or if we should just leave well enough alone and be happy with what we knew (as opposed to what we didn't).

Coming from a household with only one child (yes, I was an only, what?), I wasn't exactly sure how the whole "loving two kids" thing would work. Could it work, I wondered. Could I do it on what felt like my already strained emotional budget? Having an anxiety disorder takes up a lot of your available energy so I worried (HA! Me! Worry!) that it would be a bad idea and I'd screw up two children's lives. What parent doesn't though right? (Admit it, at least to yourself, you don't have to do it in public)

As luck would have it, I didn't get the chance to decide yes or no on the second child bit - we found out November 14, 2011 (my birthday, aww!) that we were expecting again and I was...angry? Probably because I didn't get to decide that this is what we were doing. (While you may think we could have had an abortion that wasn't a thought in either of our heads). And then I had a rockin' pregnancy (sarcasm) and Sage was born early (see the previous posts in July 2012 to read more) and that all added to my worry that my idea or not, this was Not Going To Be Good.


But then I sat in the NICU with this tiny boy's hand wrapped around my finger...and I cried. What I worried about, it didn't matter. It would be what I did with these two amazing Small Men that would influence them to be amazing people - at least the part of their lives that I could influence. So I promised my little fighting preemie that I would give both of them everything I had.

Fast forward to a year later. Sage is 13 months. Silas is 3. Sage has gone through these spurts where he seems to have a delay of some sort (which I could totally give him, I mean, he was early) but then catches up super fast. He's walking. He's harassing his brother (i.e., "Say, be quiet!" Sage blows a raspberry at Silas and laughs. "Be quiet Bother!" Raspberry. "Mom! Say won't be quiet!"). I try to divide my time equally between them, but I'm also trying to show them how triage works (one has a dirty diaper, and one is bleeding...help one while explaining to the other that they are next in line and their wait time is approximately 3 minutes). I'm trying my best to show them how to be good brothers. I share kisses, tickles, and love equally (I think). I think.


So how do you love two children? Differently. Each has different wants and needs (and is at a different stage of childhood). You do, quite literally, the best you can. I noticed that Sage developed this "thing" where he would play Peekaboo with you and look super cute until you picked him up. If you didn't (and you walked away), well, he screamed. Rather than getting angry I realized this was probably his way of telling me he needed more attention than what he was getting. Parenting adjustment. Then Silas started not doing so well with potty training. Adjustment.

Adjustment. It's what's for dinner. And I can tell you, as someone with daily anxiety, that's freaky (man). But I've learned to roll with it and pick up the closest child and love on it. And that's all you can do, right?

How did your family adjust to a new addition? Do you wonder if you "have it in you" to have children (or more than one child)?

#AnotherSaturdayOuting Without Me?

Another #AnotherSaturdayOuting! 

Last Saturday Silas went with Uncles Nic and Carlos to the duck pond. I told him the day before about the plan and he said, "Reawy!" He was very excited. He told me he wanted to "hold dem" and I said that probably he would have trouble catching a duckling to hold. He was sad. 

Nic and Carlos picked him up and took him to feed the ducks (I gave him a hoagie roll to break up for them). He enjoyed feeding them and actually got to hold some! Carlos sent me pics throughout their time and when I saw him holding them I smiled for him but became concerned about his...erm...grip. Carlos said the ducks were fine.

Feedin' the ducks

Holding a duck

No animals were hurt

They played on the playground for a bit, and then had Chic-fil-A for lunch and played in the play space. Silas was exhausted when he came home. But he had fun and that, my friends, is all that matters. The experience. The fun.

Sweaty lunch

Play!

Cool!

What fun things have you done this summer? What experiences did your children enjoy the most?

Things I Learned This Week

Things I learned this week:

1) Buying a new car freaks me out. Daddy and I are looking into buying a new car. If everything goes well with financing we will have a new (larger) family member Monday evening. Filling out the financing application and talking to someone about handing the Prius over as a trade made me anxious. Does buying a new car make everyone anxious? I've always felt kind of uneasy about it. Maybe it's the idea that I'll buy this new car and then see another one I want (or the same car cheaper), like, two days later. If all goes well, photo to come this week...

2) Sending Silas out to do #anotherSaturdayouting without me makes me sad. Saturday he went to the duck pond, playground, and out for lunch with Uncles Nic and Carlos. He had a blast. I stayed home with Sage while Daddy worked. I think I have to learn that these outings are not about me and Silas (or me and Sage). They're about the kids having fun, no matter who is the adult along for the ride. I need to get over myself.

Silas feeding ducks

3) Running shoe inserts are more expensive than the sneakers. Well not really, but I spent $115 on shoes and $45 on the inserts. What the what?! Of course the inserts weren't marked. And of course I didn't ask. I got gotten by The Man.

4) These things are awesome. You need to make them. They're apple/croissant/sugar/cinnamon goodness. The recipe makes 8. They were gone in less than 45 minutes. I may have eaten 4.

Apple goodness. Make thiisssssss.

5) This little boy is learning crazy things. Sage is 1 (well 13 months, whatever). He has learned to "hop" his high chair. This thing started out in front of the table. This child needs heavy monitoring.

Look Mom, I hop!

What did you learn this week? Anything fun you want to share?

This Little Boy Has Got to Go (to sleep)

Lack-o-sleeper

A few months back Sage was still waking two or three times at night. We did "sleep training" for a week and he slept through the night for a bit. It was awesome. Then he had an ear infection and woke up every night screaming, and that set us all back to waking up a few times a night. I was so tired I gave in to giving him milk when he woke up, and now we're back at square one (1 a.m.?).

This afternoon when I picked up the boys from school Silas was moody and told me as we climbed into the car, "I so tired Mommy I want to cry." Me too buddy. We both looked at Sage, our reason for being tired, and he was...already asleep in his car seat.

Sleep training starts again tonight. My 3 year old should not have bags under his eyes. He has many years to do that to himself.

**Update: Sage woke up only once last night and fell back asleep alone. He only woke up and stayed awake at 5:40 a.m. and I figured if he made it that long he could have some milk. Hopefully this will continue to a trend.**

"Dis my sad face Mommy."
 

Today We Swam

Silas has been swimming once, a little over a year ago while Daddy and I were hanging out in the NICU with Sage. I figured a fun #anothersaturdayouting would be to go swimming. Friends have a community pool so Silas, Sage, and I invaded this morning while Daddy nursed a hangover.

My big boy

The result? Super fun. Once we realized that Sage's "boat" needed to be blown up and Silas' borrowed vest wouldn't keep him from dunking himself, we were good.

           We splashed out in the kiddie pool, Silas freaked himself out by going under (only to learn...that he could touch bottom), and Silas pulled Sage and his boat around. It was very sweet.

Pushing brother's boat around

It's only 2 feet of water?

Then someone invited Silas into the big pool and he wanted to learn to swim. We floated, and dog paddled, he got out, he got back in (not at the steps - way to freak your mother out)...and finally he attempted to slip in at the far deep end and everyone got to hear my Mommy Voice as I was too far away (and carrying Brother) to jump in to 7 feet after him.

Sage in his boat and our friend Nic

Then we were done. It was almost nap time so the ability to listen dwindles then as parents know. We get in the car and he tells me, "I went under free time Mommy." I know dude. I was there. I pulled you sputtering from the depths of 2 feet of water!

What's the most fun family outing you've done? I need some more Saturday ideas!

Send Me Back to Work

It's summer. I'm a college professor. That means I either teach extra classes or...I have no idea what, I've always taught extra classes. I never knew what I'd do with myself.

Enter this summer.

Self-shaming (not the housewife type)

Two online classes and no "face-to-face" work makes Mommy cook, clean, and generally act like a housewife. I'm not sure how you feel about that, but it's so not me. I've been working on my dissertation and transcribing interviews, I've been working out (a lot it feels like - do you follow me on Fitocracy or on Twitter? If not, you should, I know you're creepy like that - see the sidebar), I've been planning weekend adventures for the boyz (see posts with #anothersaturdayouting tagged to see what all we do), and, like, hardcore cooking dinner. Meal planning with my laptop going hardcore, printing stuff out, making weekly schedules of food (no I'm not joking). It's kind of cray-cray.

I need to go back to work. Send me back to the land of the college students. Please.

Parenting from afar - no thanks

Five years ago if you offered me a job working at home with 30% travel, I'd have been all over it. Even though we all know that "30% travel" really means 50% or more. I used to love traveling to different places, seeing new airports (I know, geek), and staying in different hotels (bedbugs need not apply Washington, DC - my January 2010 trip while pregnant). But after having two kids, it's a lot harder to fathom not being home 50% of the month and being constantly on the go (literally).

When I traveled to Florida for a conference last week, I left Daddy with the boys from Thursday to Saturday night. Thursday night Sage slept for a grand total of 1.25 hours according to Daddy. Friday night he wouldn't sleep anywhere but on Uncle Steven's chest. Saturday he did sleep more (and was asleep when I finally got home around 12:15 a.m. Sunday). Daddy and I were talking about what the problem was and he assumed it was because I wasn't there. Sunday afternoon a vicious illness hit Sage and there was a 102 degree fever and then there was a barking cough. He didn't miss me, he was getting ready to have Croupe and an inner ear infection we found out at the pediatrician's on Monday.

When I called Daddy on Thursday, Silas said "hi" and "I mih ewe Mommy." I mihed him too. But Silas has been through this before, I've gone away (and come back) a couple of times in his short life. But it's not something I'd want to do often.

Friday Daddy called me and told me that Sage crawled for the first time. I missed it. I hated that. And I had this feeling before I left that he would (no it's not hindsight bias, I really did expect him to crawl while I was away). When I got home though I realized he's not REALLY crawling - he's using his arms and legs to push himself along on his belly. Now, don't get me wrong, he's fast at it. Super fast. But it's not crawling. I didn't totally miss it.

Even though one of my dream jobs (textbook publishing - again, geek) would involve 30% (or 50%) travel, I wouldn't do it for the world. I need to see crawling and not be mihed by little boys.

Life With Two - Little Boys Updates

I've had a lot of friends and readers ask, "What's life like with two kids as opposed to just one?" Mike jokes that we're "real parents" now because we have two, but I don't think that's really the case. The challenges and enjoyable moments with two kids are different from one, for sure, but it's all parenting.

Having two kids feels like triage - you look around and see who needs attention more right now and you help them now. Is anyone bleeding or damaged? If so, they're first. After that it's kind of "the one who makes the most noise wins." Because face it - with two kids (almost three and 7 months) there's a lot of noise to be made. I don't know about you, but for me constant noise ups my anxiety level exponentially. So if you continue to make noise (and it's not a happy playing noise) you'll get help from me super quick. Daddy for some reason can block it out.

Getting so big

There's always something going on. I think they've both napped at the same time once. As they both get older there's different challenges. For example, Sage is trying to crawl and has his first tooth poking out. There's lots of frustrated crawling crying and pain crying. But when he's not crying he's a smiley and sweet little boy. He's almost there with the crawling...almost there. I think he still needs to work on his upper arm strength. We played on our hands and knees last night for about 10 minutes and by the end he was wobbly. And that tooth, man. It's poking out to the point where you can feel a point but it's just a little above flush with his gums.

I think as a younger brother he's learned quickly that a big smile will get you attention. If he's playing in his Exersaucer and you pass by he'll give you a big smile and see if he can attract your attention to pick him up. He especially loves Silas. Si gets the biggest smiles and the most "cat calls" from Sage. Sage REALLY wants to be his friend. The sad part is Silas ignores him. But when Si does smile back at Sage, Sage's smile gets that much bigger.

Don't let the smile fool you...

Silas, being almost three, is all about helping me ("I help you Mommy!") by bringing laundry to the washer (one sock and one blanket), picking up his toys, stirring brother's formula, and trying to pour his own milk (which freaks me out). As someone who usually tries to control everything, it's hard to give up some control to him, but I'm making myself do it because he needs to learn how to put on his own socks and wash his own hands. It's hard to predict now what he can and can't do by himself. I generally just ask, "Hey can you do X?" and observe from a distance. If he's having trouble I'll offer some help. Otherwise I just marvel at what he can do. He can identify all of his colors (except pink for some reason), most of his shapes, can sing songs he's heard often (we heard pieces of "Itsy Bitsy Spider" and "Rain Rain Go Away" the other day on the way home from school, and I heard him singing bits of "When she loved me" from Toystory 2 today), and he can say his numbers 1-10 (and sometimes higher). He will repeat almost everything you say (sometimes creepily similarly to how you said it) and remember most of what you've said. The other day Daddy hid Si's favorite blanket (Blue) and told Si he needed to say "The Magic Word" to get it back. He said, "Abre." Daddy just looked at me, confused. I tried to not spit out my water. "Just give it to him," I said. "What did he say?" Daddy asked. "Open in Spanish." Toddler parents will probably recognize that my son's a Dora fan.

While I may feel overwhelmed some days (and feel relieved when the kids go back to school on Monday) I would not miss everything they're doing for anything. There's nothing better than when someone comes up to you on the couch with Blue and says, "I sit you Mommy" and cuddles up to you. Sure buddy. Cuddle all you want.

"You're right Prospector, I can't stop Andy from growing up. But I wouldn't miss it for the world."

Toddler at a Museum

Sounds like a bad movie right? Snakes on a plane, Toddler in a Museum, ahhhh!

Daddy is an artist and a teacher. Because of those things, I expect that out kids will be involved in art somehow (even if it's just to attend an opening or a show to "show your tribe") so I thought it would be good to get them started on attending different things now.

The McNay offered a program a few Sundays ago where there was a talk about cultural artwork and an activity. We showed up late (unintentionally) so we missed the talk but got to peruse the museum and attend the activity (which involved taking old small toys and building a sculpture out of them, hot gluing the sculpture, and taking home a souvenir).

Now this would have been all fine and good except for two things. It started at 1. Nap time starts at 1. Sage slept through most of it, but Silas stayed awake like the trooper he is. Then when we got to the sculpture building part he wanted to go through all the toys (holding up the line) and he just wanted to play with them (not build a sculpture). Whenever Mike tried to help him build, Silas would take the toys back and play with them. Finally we took a tired toddler out to the car and left his toys for another kid to build with (I felt badly taking toys and not building).

Moral of the story: Si's not ready for this sort of stuff yet and I should have known that and not pushed it. He enjoyed sitting in the stroller and checking out the paintings for a bit, so maybe we'll just stick with that for now. We'll stroll, talk about museum etiquette (you can't touch, stay behind this line, etc.), and look at some cool stuff. Maybe in a few years we can go to the activity portions.

Post-Christmas Ponderings

Ever since I became a parent Christmas has become anxiety-provoking. I know it shouldn't be because it's not about the gifts, I know that in my head really I do. But when I thought about the presents I had for Silas (almost three) this past year, I thought (pre-Christmas), "Well that's not enough."

I remember these huge Christmases at my Gram's. The tree was at one end of the room and the presents came out to the middle of the living room (and that didn't include stocking presents which were in brown paper grocery bags there were so many). Mind you, that was for 9 people. But it's as if I had that image stuck in my head as I was thinking about our Christmas this past year. And I felt badly that I couldn't give Silas that sort of Christmas.

Fast forward to mid-January. Silas had the bulk of the presents under our tree (my parents spoiled him) and after all the anxiety of finding "the best" gifts, he plays the most with two: a set of inflatable dinos (Amazon, $17.99) and a set of cardboard blocks from my parents. The rest of his stuff is either in his toy box ("resting") or broken at this point.

Note to self for next Christmas: don't worry about the gifts. Find him one or two things that he'll enjoy currently and save the rest of the time, energy, and money on something else. Honestly I think he enjoys playing with me and Daddy with the dinos more than anything else. Oh, and deflating them so he and I can use the pump to inflate them again.

To Sleep Perchance to Dream

Mmm toddler. Mmmm screwed up night time routine since we've been on vacation from school.

I. Will. Not. Sleep.

Shoot me.

For many months Silas (30 months) would be great - bath, milk on the couch, teeth brushing, bed at 8:15, bam. We wouldn't hear from him again until 7 am. Now on vacation it's been delayed a bit and he's still awake at 9:30, 10...Tonight I was making breakfast muffins at 10 and while I was doing the dishes he appeared in the kitchen with Blue (his blanket). "Me help you?" He asked with a small smile. You can help me tomorrow but tonight get your tushy back in bed.

I will be very happy once vacation is over and we'll be back to his regular schedule. It doesn't help that Daddy thinks staying up until 9:30 is ok.

How do you get kids back on schedule after vacation?