Losing Your Self in Parenting

I read a lot of blogs and articles about parenting in my free time (you know, that 5 minutes you have between their bedtime and your bedtime). I was reading an article today about single parenting and 10 women weighed in on the difficult parts of being a single parent. One said it was hard not to lose your "self" in parenting and I thought, "Isn't that hard for everyone?" I mean it may be especially hard when you're the only parent, but I see it in parents who are still with their partner as well.

The "self" can be seen as the part of you that distinguishes you from others. As an adolescent, as a young adult, someone without kids, we are free to define that self as we please. Before I married Mike, before I had kids, I would have defined my self as a psychologist, as a therapist, as a professor, as a crafter (I have always loved to knit and create things from other things, like making a collage), as an academic (I always had my face buried in a book or an article), as a friend, and as a daughter. When I married Mike, I added "wife" to that list, and it changed how I thought about myself and how I thought about what I did. For example, when you go to the grocery store as a single person, you get whatever the hell you want, because why not right? It's you eating it. I used to eat Ramen Noodles and Black Bean Burgers with pepperjack cheese on a bun probably 3 nights a week. I'd buy wine and cosmopolitan mix (and good vodka) and have hair dying parties with lots of alcohol and a good friend as often as possible. Then I got married and even grocery shopping changed - now if I saw something new I wanted to try, I'd grab one, put it in my cart, then a thought would come up, "Maybe Mike might like that too?" so I'd try to find something he would like. It was an adjustment even in just that small area of my life. I read less and spent more time hanging out with my husband. I still used to bring work home with me in the form of papers to grade, and many nights I'd sit alone as he watched TV or while he was working, grading papers. But I'd feel guilty because I wasn't spending all my time with him. So I developed a way to not bring as much work home.

Then we had kids. Well we had Silas. I stayed home with Silas for the first 4 months or so because I had him during summer break. Mike still worked, so I spent a lot more time with Si than he did. I ended up being the one that got up and fed him and changed him. I investigated cloth diapers and started using them. I took him to all his appointments. I washed his diapers. I cooked. I cleaned. I was tired a lot (especially because newborns don't sleep long stretches like us adults need). Rather than going to the store and thinking about what do Mike and I want to eat, I ended up spending some time in the baby section now too. Clothes, formula, gear (swing? bouncer? toddler bed when?) then food (stage 1? stage 2? WTF? Where's my phone, I need to Google that stuff), cups (is he old enough for this one?), silverware, self-feeding, do we need different plates for this little dude? Becoming a parent, having "parent" become part of my self, how I saw myself, was very quick for me. And maybe it is more so for women than it is for men because they carry the baby, they nurse the baby (maybe, if they can), things like that.

But even now, three years after having our first child in April 2010, I'm still the one who does a bulk of what I think of as "parenting prep." I buy Silas' clothes and shoes. I look at Sage and figure out if he's ready to size up (and find the buckets of those clothes and wash them to get them ready for when he does size up). That reminds me, Silas needs 5T pants - it's gotten chilly here and I have 2 pairs of pants for him only. 5T is a B to find! I get home from work and start putting together dinners for everyone - the boys usually eat the same thing and Mike and I eat the same thing. I get pajamas ready so that when baths are done PJs and diapers are ready to go. I make sure post-bath milk cups are ready. I do the laundry so everyone has clean clothes. I clean up after dinner (sometimes with Mike, sometimes without). I wash diapers. I wash the boys' wool PJs. Mike does baths. We wrangle wet boys. They drink milk, watch a show, then we brush teeth and read a book. Then the bedtime struggle ensues (for Silas). Now it's, "But I have to poop!" He's gotten up to use the potty twice since I sat down to write this. Mike thinks it's a stall tactic but most nights he does actually poop.

That's me (not really)

So where is the "self" in all of this? I mean sure you can see how I define my self in relation to my children. I'm their Mommy, Momma, Mamama (Sage). I spend most of my time doing for others, and most days I'm fine with that. Every once in a while I wish I could go back to that time where I sat on my couch in my attic apartment in Providence, RI and knitted until I was tired and went to bed when I wanted to (rather than going to bed because everyone else is finally in bed and I'm quite literally brain exhausted). I go running some days. I exercise at least 30 minutes a day (but usually there's at least one child attempting to "help" or copy me). I blog (at 10 p.m. under a camouflage blanket where nobody can see me). I've been reading the same "for fun" book since June. And no it's not 1,000 pages long.

My kids aren't old enough yet for sports and we don't know enough kids for play dates, so I'm betting that the time I spend with them watching movies or playing dinosaurs (today it was rockets) will change and I'll spend my time driving them to and fro. I don't see the amount of time I have to spend on "me" or even with my husband changing any time soon. I wish I could change it just a little bit, but if I did I think I'd feel guilty. I work 40+ hours per week. Mike worked 55 hours last week. The boys hang with their nanny more than they do with us. We see them for an hour in the morning (and that's "get dressed and get your butts in the car") and three and a half hours at night, and that's it on the week days. Weekends we spend more time together, but I feel as if that's "make up" for all the time we didn't spend Monday - Friday.

In the end, as a parent, any parent, single or not, it's hard not to lose your self in parenting. It's hard to not focus on "being someone's Mom" and to instead focus on what you as a human, as an adult, want. I bet that's why people have trouble with "empty nest syndrome" or whatever you want to call it - once you don't have your kids to define you anymore, what do you do? Who are you? It's like you need to rebuild that self from the ground up.

What do you think that you can do to maintain some sense of "self" as a parent? Do you think it's possible?

A Hope for My Sons if They Play Sports

I work as a college professor and many days I go to the campus gym to run on the track (because it's too damn hot in Texas to run three miles outside still). Today I noticed a bunch of folks scrimmaging on the basketball court and realized that it was day 2 of men's basketball try outs.

If there is a sport I love, it is basketball (followed far off by football then hockey...then baseball is very far away). My Dad taught me the rules for most sports as a kid - he really wanted a boy to watch sports with so if I wanted to hang with Dad, I had to learn sports. From him I learned not only the rules, but the "etiquette" of that sport, if you will. And things like teamwork. Look for the open (wo)man closest to the goal. Don't showboat. Be a team player, not the jackass who plays for "all eyes on me."

Leave the ego here.

As I ran, I watched these (19 year old-ish) kids playing and got really frustrated. I know this is tryouts. This is the time to show you have skills, I get that. But when you bring the ball down the court, see an open man by the goal, and still stop at the line for the 3 (which you brick), that doesn't make me want to pick you for the team. It makes me want to kick your ass out of tryouts and let someone else play - maybe they can use their teammates to score as a team. Or maybe they can at least pause and check their options before attempting the Look At Me shot.

And there wasn't just one or two of these showboaters. Three of the guys on each "team" played for Team Me. The others were getting frustrated. Wouldn't you? If you're not a guard, if you're not a ball handler, then you're getting ignored even if you're open and have a shot. B.S.

IF my boys want to play basketball. IF they have the coordination (they're going to be tall so they may not). I hope that I'm able to practice with them and show them how useful an effective team is. Now, don't get me wrong. They will be practicing their skills drills. Layups, non-dominant hand dribbling, freethrows, 3s, crossovers, and obvious defensive moves will be just like at my Dad's hand (stay outside until you can MAKE [not take] X number of freethrows). But we'll also watch effective teams and talk about why they're effective as a team. Most sports are not a one man party. Unless you're playing golf. But that's not a party (I kid). I hope that if they decide to play a sport that they play for love of game instead of love of self.

And of course I will be in the stands screaming "GO ANDREW!" (inside joke if you went to Bourne High School football games in the early 90s) but if my kids decide to showboat, you know who the first person to chastise them about being humble is going to be. This Mama.

Did you play sports as a kid? What do you hope to pass on to your children?

We Need Your Opinion

Have you ever woken up and thought, "My bedroom needs a new color paint?" So you go to Home Depot and you look at the paint swatches and try to decide what would be cool.

But then your two friends are there, and they spend a lot of time in your house and you want them to have input too. But nobody is "OMG!" excited about the same paint.

Welcome to our world. I (Liz) am tired of the blog's look. It needs a makeover (especially after this week's "code takes over the home page" fiasco which has caused the current template choice). So I started looking at templates and sent some to Robyn and Lisa. The ones Lisa loved, Robyn "meh"d and vice versa. You try getting three chicks to agree on one template!

So we're turning to you, our readers. The ones who, you know, look at the blog. Four options. Choose your fave and comment with "blue," "yellow," "pink," or "rainbow."

"Blue"

"Yellow"

"Pink"

"Rainbow"

Top Ten Mommy Student Experiences

I'm currently finishing my PhD in psychology. I'm actually finishing up my dissertation. The quick and dirty on that is that I've done a research study, gathered my data, written a large chunk of a book (which will end up about 200 pages), and now I'm finishing up my last two chapters. My first draft of my final two chapters was due last Friday. So what do you experience as a student Mommy?

1. You're working on your school work and the 3 year old comes in and finds a loose sheet of paper and grabs a marker. You can either give up and escort him out or risk him coloring something important. Either way, something bad is going to happen. There will be a tantrum if you try to uproot the child or you'll have a colored on study guide. You give up. For now.

2. It's easiest to do school work when the kids are in bed, for sure. But by 8:30 pm you're so tired because the 1 year old was up 4 times last night with a fever that you're more interested in sleep.

3. You lay in bed feeling guilty for not doing your homework tonight. 

4. You've broken 3 DVRs because you've overloaded them with your shows and kid shows. You intended to watch your shows but realize you're three weeks behind on The Glades and Perception and they've both ended for the summer.

5. You feel badly asking your significant other to watch the kids so you can work.

6. When you do take off to work you are barraged with calls of "Where's mommy? Mommmmmyyyy! Where arrrre you?"

7. Cooking dinner while reading a journal article seemed like a good idea at the time. Then you're frustrated, dinner's burned, the kids are screaming, "I wanna watch Mike the Knight!" and you're ordering pizza. And nobody got jack done.

8. Reading period. Now that's a joke. I took Advanced Inferential Statistics and wanted ball gags for everyone else and noise canceling headphones for myself. Instead you learn to skim while sitting on the toilet for 5 minutes until the small hand comes under the bathroom door. "Mommy?"

9. Cleaning involves running the vacuum on Saturday before the 1 year old's 11 am nap and the 3 year old's 1 pm nap. You are chased around the house by two dogs who decide to eat the vacuum and two little boys who cover their ears and cry. You vacuum around things rather than move them because really, who does that anyway? Every time you clean you think about how you should be studying and ponder hiring a cleaning service. Then you think about how you'd be embarrassed and feel the need to clean before the cleaner got there and really, that's just silly.

10. "Mommy you sit an watch Toy Story with me?" I can't today baby boy, Mommy has to do work. Guilt. Sadness. Remember, you're doing this to be a good role model and to provide for the Small People. So says your brain. But you still feel like crap.

Are you a Mommy or Daddy Student? What experiences have you had recently that I didn't put on the list?

What We Learned This Week - September 8th Edition

Another day another dollar...what did you learn this week?

Robyn: 

1. I've learned about a gadget update: I receive deals via email for local stuff. This week, I opened my inbox to find a car seat swivel tray on sale. Are you thinking car seat for a child? That's what I thought! So they can sit quietly in the backseat and eat their happy meal while mommy is driving with hands at 10 and 2, playing her favorite tunes! Hold up, that's not what's going down...EVER! (Just trying to be real here) Seriously, But NO! This is a seat swivel tray that attaches to the cup holders, that the driver can vegetate off of while commuting. To the purchasers of such ridiculousness: Eat up Fatties. Nobody will be surprised if you drive off a cliff while texting from your swivel tray, either! SMH.

2. I've learned how much busier life can get in the matter of a week. I got a call with a really good job offer starting in a few weeks (which puts 3 out of 4 kids in daycare, and time for running errands on the weekends, and finishing up my degree next year...) teenage turd has extra curricular stuff 3 nights a week, husband is finishing his masters degree (2 nights a week), and T-Ball starts in 3 weeks for kinder turd. I guess that leaves one thing for me to do...put on my cape and rock this! 

3. Last but not least, I've learned to take time for myself. Even if it's while the baby is napping during the week (that 'sleep when the baby does' advice is not for me!) 30-45 minutes of Insanity has given me a huge burst of energy throughout the day. Plus, i notice that the floor needs to be swept while doing pushups! Right after, I am like jello going up the stairs. But, it's motivation to not be a dent in the couch while lactic acid is building up in my muscles (that's where soreness comes from) I push through the workout and hmm...the house has been cleaner and laundry has been done since Tuesday! Imagine that! Plus, a mani-pedi Sat morning totally went down! Ahhh(sigh of relief), clean house and polished toes...this mama's in total bliss!!!

Lisa:

1. The girls were having a hard time with this move. They were very sad about the old house, so we got them to help with packing things into the truck, so they could get some sense of closure. They said their goodbyes to the house this morning and are asleep now in their new room in the new house. Feels good to know just how resilient they are. 

2. It's ok to take a break. Part of being pregnant is getting easily exhausted and for me a huge problem. I feel like I don't do enough, that I could be doing more to help out, and I find myself on the brink of exhaustion. With everything going on here, I realized that I was doing a lot and I should take it easier. I took some breaks but still a managed to help a bit. Now, if I could only find a long-lasting cure for cankles!! Yeah right. 

3. Neighbors are interesting people! Our old neighbors, which were awesome, could barely say bye to us today as we loaded our last boxes into the truck. We didn't realize how good we'd been as neighbors, until half our block came to wish us good luck. It was intense to say the least! At the new house, we met the new neighbors en masse and they were wonderful! They even brought us a treat as a welcome to the neighborhood. It felt nice but overwhelming to be welcomed that warmly. Always a good thing to learn that there are still really good people around. Now, if I could just figure out their quirks, we're in business.

Liz:
1) I've learned that I can sometimes be a hypocrite. My completed dissertation was due Friday (a schedule that I created myself at the start of this quarter). I got it submitted Friday at 4:22 p.m. I busted butt working on it all this week (even though I did work on it for about 30 minutes a day for the two weeks before that). A former student heard that I had submitted it just under the wire and said, "Huh Liz, you always tell us not to procrastinate but..." And she's right. For most things I'm not a procrastinator but for some reason I'm just tired of this dissertation. I'm ready to be DONE.

2) Sage (14 months) is droppin' the science on us - this kid is spitting out words left and right like it's no 'thang. This past week? Chicken, Mickey (Mouse), dog, ball, go (used contextually correctly), down...that's all I can think of for now. It's amazing how different two children from the same household can be. Silas said "ball" at 12 months and that was it for a while. Child #2 has the advantage of having three role models for language (and behavior) rather than just the 2 that Child #1 had.

3) After going back to work full time (after a summer of teaching just two online classes) I've realized I cannot keep up the pace I had during the summer. Laundry, dishes, cooking, diaper laundry (including wool washing and lanolinizing), grocery shopping, cleaning...after working 40+ hours (many from home at night) is not as simple as it was during the summer. I feel badly, but I'm considering finding someone to come clean the house once a week. Why do I feel bad? For some reason I feel as if I should be able to cut it myself (those damned "shoulds").

4) I need a motivator. Our race got cancelled (the race Robyn and I were supposed to run next Saturday). I'm bummed. Now we need to find another one to register for. I have to say this has slightly decreased my motivation to go running and work out in general. Bummer.

What about you, what have you learned this week?

If You Give A Mom A Saturday...

If you had the whole day with no children, how ever would you entertain yourself?!

Liz:

Sleep late. Even if I woke up early I'd still loll in bed for another 30 minutes checking email, then I'd get up and go to Starbucks for a White Mocha and some vanilla bean scones. Then I'd slowly make my way around Target and Lush and buy fun Mommy things. I'd browse a bookstore. I'd get some lunch at Jimmy John's (love their sandwiches) and call Robyn to see if she was home. If she was I'd go hang with them for a bit. If they weren't, I'd probably go to a movie (a new Vin Diesel movie would be good) and have dinner at Alamo Draft House. Then I'd go to bed early. I. Am. A. Rockstar.

Robyn: 

Wake up early in the late springtime. (No, I'm not crazy!) I'd be the first in line at Michael Kors to browse, try on and buy the perfect bag. Then, I'd peruse around with my new buy and a tall skinny caramel latte with an extra shot of espresso. (Hell yes to caffiene if not BF'ing) From there, I'd go home, change into a tank top, jeans, a bandana and boots. Only to climb on the back of Mike's Harley. Id slap on some sunscreen and strap my helmet down. We'd ride around all afternoon into the early evening, stopping for beers at random dive bars to quench our thirst. Meeting our friends along the way, and stopping at The Salt Lick in Driftwood for some rockin' BBQ would top of my perfect day!

Lisa: have some time for uninterrupted reading. I don't want to get up to fix anyone a sandwich, or cleanup the latest mess. I just want to lose myself in a good book and enjoy the day that way. That would be the most perfect Saturday!! Ever.


Your turn!! Tell the Mamas what your idea of an awesome Saturday sans kids would be. 

Night Time Cloth Diapering - What Works for Us

Most parents who cloth diaper eventually realize that cloth diapering (CDing) at night can be a challenge. After 3 years and two children, I (Liz) have found what works for us. But what works for one child may not work for another. Some kiddos are heavy wetters. Some kids change what works for them at different parts of their small lives. So what have worked for your littles?

Liz: Silas (age 3) was almost always a heavy wetter. For most of his diapering nights I used Sustainablebabyish (Sbish) organic bamboo fitteds (OBFs), a Gen-Y Classic cover (a PUL waterproof cover), and Sbish wool of some sort (shorties or covers mostly). If I didn't use the PUL layer then I would have to wash wet bedsheets every night but now that he's almost potty trainined, he can go without the PUL layer. For Sage (14m) I used the same combo until he finally slept through the night. I realized that the PUL layer was probably making him hot so he'd wake up, so I only use an OBF and lanolinized wool for Sage for nighttime.

Lisa: I had a challenge with overnight diapering because both girls were in cloth diapers at the same time. Eep! Pixy(then 2) and Banshee( then infant) had very different body types: one was skinny-Minnie and the other was built like a quarterback--even in infancy! I found the best thing for both was a Tiny Tush OS pocket diaper, stuffed with the Tiny Tush inserts and an additional Joeybunz hemp insert. It was bulletproof, as it kept Pixy's toddler pee from saturating her diaper, and it kept Banshee dry and comfortable through most of the night(or at least through that nighttime feeding). Nighttime diapering is probably the part that takes the most experimentation, since no child is the same. Even in the same family! 

Robyn- So far, we are only 2 months into CD'ing with baby #4. Thankfully, she is not an overflowing waterfall of a mess at night. The boys, on the other hand, would have to be pointed down (hey, that's important!) and changed every two hours. Their kidneys functioned at full capacity!!! For Reagan, we use a fitted cloth pocket diaper, with an insert. Then, we use an old school, white plastic cover to keep in the wetness. It holds up overnight, so we must be doing something right. Holla!

What has worked well for your CD'd little one? Share with us in the comments - give some new options to some mamas who may be tired of the wet sheets!

On Getting Children to "Be A Good _______"

Today I was shopping (ok I was at Target - be quiet you) and I observed a man talking to a shamefaced little boy who focused on that spot on the floor. "Do you want to be a good boy?" the man asked him. No answer. The man repeated the question. Still no answer. So the man walked away from the child (leaving him standing in the foyer of Target alone - pretty sad sight actually).

But I'm not going to focus on that. The man's statements bring up a good question - what does being a good boy MEAN? How does one do this being a good boy thing? Can anyone do it? What do I have to do? What do I have to avoid? Some of you may be thinking, "They should know." And you know what, older kids should for sure. But when we're talking about a really small kid or a kid who is in a brand new environment, we can't say "they should know." We don't know what's expected of us sometimes even as adults. And that's what it boils down to - not knowing the expectations.

As an adult "in charge" of a child, we have to think at their level and speak at their level. I recently took my two sons (ages 3 and 1) to an atypical memorial service. I had options. I could expect them to "behave" or I could let them know what "behaving" meant in this situation and take into account their ages and cognitive abilities to understand instructions in a new situation and follow those instructions. I did the latter. As we drove to the memorial I told Sials (the older one) where we were going and what we could expect to see. I told him how we were expected to behave. There was a whole slew of kids there, so they all kind of banded together and attacked this large hill with lots of rolling and laughing and dirt and the parents (well most of them) were fine with that (but everyone was fine with them enjoying themselves). One child shied away from the others, not even walking up to the hill and watching other kids. "Be careful, don't get dirty, stay by me," I heard his mother say.

Whether we agree with her or not, she set the "be a good boy" limits for him and he did follow them. If we want children to behave, think of it as a game. I can't play if I don't know the rules. I can't play well if I don't know where the playing field is. What's allowed? What's not tolerated? How do I score? If we can't give them these bits of information, then how can we expect them to follow the rules that we haven't given them access to?

So how do you get your child to "be a good XX or XY?" You tell them how. You reinforce the behaviors that move toward the goal ("You're doing such a great job listening today. I really appreciate that."). We punish (or ignore if possible) behaviors that don't move toward the goal ("We already said there's no jumping off the bleachers, didn't we? What did we say would happen if we did? That's right, time out, so you're going to sit in time out for 3 minutes."). Let them know the rules. Level the playing field. Allow the child to play "right" instead of punishing them or chastising them for not playing right.

What behaviors have you tried to instill in your children to make them "good" boys or girls? How did you do it?

What We Learned This Week (August 25th Edition)

Do these weeks fly by for anyone else? It seemed like it was just yesterday we were writing one of these things. So without further adieu, I give you...the Mamas.

What did you learn this week?

Lisa:

I was able to enjoy a little bit of down time from the move and went with the family to the Renaissance Faire. We had a blast! The Sailor and the girls got to ride on an elephant together, the girls got to hold a snake, we ate yummy food, and took a picture with King Henry and Queen Katherine. I got to see the Sailor smile a lot and that was worth all the money in the world! He has been having a tough time being busy and it was nice to see him let loose a bit.

I splurged a bit and bought Cubby a little gift for his arrival in December. This is HUGE because I am a wee bit superstitious, and I generally wait to see if everything is completely all right before I go nuts nesting. All is fine with the bloke, so I figured it was ok to get him a little something to match his old man once he comes out.

I learned that I still love back-to-school time. I got a rush out of walking into the school building and seeing all the classrooms ready for the children...until I remembered that this is the year that both girls will be out of the house for most of the day. Then, I got a little sad. Banshee will be attending a morning preschool and Pixy will be in Kindergarten. What will I do after I drop everyone off?! Aaaah! I quickly recovered as I will still have a new house to put together when the girls are in school, but it was just another new beginning to think about. Bittersweet those new beginnings, eh? ;)

Robyn: 

There IS hope for my teenager! He started showering (regularly, YAY!). For clarification, I mean normal showering. Like, stepping foot INTO the shower, soaping up the ENTIRE body, and thoroughly scrubbing his head. (Not just the hairs, you must wash the scalp, dude!) This used to be a daily struggle. His argument was 'you never told me that'. Gee, would you like me to be in the bathroom and SHOW you exactly how to bathe? Didn't think so. We dyed his hair (goth black was his choice) and now he's ready to start high school. I cannot confirm or deny anything about the basket of strategically placed condoms on his dresser with a candy bar with a note saying: "Be safe, or you will be kicked to the Milky Way" 

Tomorrow is the first day of school! (YESSSS!!!!) It's really bittersweet, because its not that I want the cute little turds to be out of the house. Okay, who am I kidding, that's half of it. But the other half of it is that I learned about myself. I realized how much I miss making them treats for when they get home from school. Seriously, what's better than coming home to the smell of fresh baked chocolate chip cookies on the first day of school? Uh, maybe seeing those suckers on a plate with some milk at your place at the table?  Best way to sit and do homework yo! 

Both Sean and Kasen are a little too young to completely comprehend the concept of breastfeeding. Wow, say that 3 times fast. Well, they don't know the schmatics. Like, that milk actually comes out of nipples to feed babies. They just know that their sister gets hungry. She cries. Mommy covers up with a blanket. About 10 min later, Reagan emerges again and TA-DA, now she's happy!  I'd hate to scar my kids for life, so I'm not gonna show them specifics with my own jugs. This week, Sean saw Reagan with just a diaper on. He lifted up his shirt, pointed to his nipples and said "Baby has mine right mom." Yes, Sean. Reagan has nipples just like you. "She want to eat like  mwah mwah," duck face in full force. "C'mahhhhhhhn. Lemme try. I can do it". Ah, crap! *Dont over-react (I told myself) he's just trying to help.* Nope son, Mommy's got this. "Why?" There's not enough money in the world for the life-long counseling you both would need. Love you buddy.

Liz:

This week has been what we call "Faculty Week." It's a week of meetings and short blocks of time (snicker) for faculty to prepare (prep) their classes that start next week. Monday was a 3 hour meeting, Tuesday 1 hour, Thursday 2 hour, and Friday 3.5 hour. I was trying to make sure I stayed on my running schedule as well (and pick up little boys by 4:30). So more than once I considered skipping meetings to prep classes. But I didn't and I'm glad I didn't. During Friday's meeting I was awarded an Excellence in Teaching award - imagine if I hadn't been there. I'm sure my office mate would have yelled from the back of the auditorium, "She's in the office prepping!" Note to self. No skippy meetings.

I re-learned I have massive respect for (good) daycare providers. These people amazingly patiently hang with our Littles for hours a day. I took the boys to the Children's Museum for 2 hours with 3 other adults and I am nap ready.

I wanted to take a minute to recognize our amazing readers, friends, and family members. We were nominated for a blogging award last weekend and started off in 49th place (out of like 52 blogs). We're now in 8th. You. Guys. Rock. Keep up the amazingness.

What did you learn about life, yourself, your family, or anything else for that matter this week? If it's funny we especially want to hear it. We like funny. Be sure to leave your story in the Comments at the end of this post.

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Techy Parent and Techy Policies

I'm the type of person that loves my tech...sometimes too much. Macbook Pro, iPhone 5, Google Nexus 7 tablet (what no iPad?!). While I've never been an early tech adopter, I'm a "pretty quickly" adopter, so I've tried a lot and I'm also willing to let something go if it's not meeting my needs. I have, let's just say, a very active eBay account. If something doesn't work for me, it goes. I won't sit on it (except my first Dell laptop which is a useless paperweight which I still can't get myself to get rid of).

As a parent and a parent who thinks about how they parent intentionally, this brings up a good question - how do you juggle tech and kids? Do you put policies in place (no cell phones at the dinner table), do you have "times" (cell phones only after the kids go to bed), do you integrate tech (even the kids have their own iPads and can order kiddy Netflicks if they so choose)...there are lots of options and lots of questions that you wrestle with as a parent. I really try to think, "What am I teaching my sons by doing this?" If I'm watching a movie with them and am on Facebook messaging with the other Mamas, what am I saying to my 3-year-old?

My personal policy is to try to avoid social media type tech when my kids are awake and playing with me. If they're playing together I may hop on my phone and check FB or my email (especially over the weekend when my students have these huge horrific problems - I call it "being on fire" and Mike jokes that I have to check to make sure my students aren't on fire). If they're napping...usually I'm napping, but if I'm not I can be found working on a blog post or cruising mommy blogs.

What I don't want my kids to learn is that this "other stuff" comes before them. Now, don't get me wrong, if I'm typing an email to my Dad and Silas comes up wanting something RIGHT NOW I will definitely give him the, "I'm typing to Grandpa and will be done in one minute. If you can wait one minute, I will help you. Thank you for being patient with me." But unless absolutely necessary I never want to appear to my kids that "this thing" is more important than what's going on in front of me or around me. I want to be as present as possible, especially right now when these little boys have such amazing stories to tell me.

What's your parenting and tech policy? Do you think technology has influenced your relationships with your children or spouse for the better or for the worse?

Things We Learned This Week (August 18th edition)

The Mamas are back with what they learned this week. In no particular order they are...

Robyn:

1. Sean made a new best friend with a frog he found. I know this because he asked if his friend could come inside. He proceeds to come in with his hands behind his back, head to the side, and til-toe'ing (I think to try and go unnoticed.. "Nice try mister. Where's your friend, Sean?" He opens his hands literally 2 inches from my eyes and yells "TA-DA!". Whoa kiddo! Now, we get to work on a personal bubble lesson :) He grabbed a bug jar, and headed out the back door. When he went to revisit him later that afternoon, he learned a lesson. Frogs that are left in a jar in Texas heat end up looking like tanned leather! Yes, my son fried his bestie. Instead of offerering to have frog legs for dinner, i offered my motherly version of a service. We had a burial with plastic shovels and a tree limb cross... RIP Froggie. BTW, Kasen is still upset and crying about their loss.

2. Halloween e-mails have been flooding my inbox this week. Not to mention any names...*Ahem* Spirit Halloween *Cough*... 3 emails a day is too much when were still trying to focus on back to school at the moment. Seriously, calm your pants down.

3. When your teen is in their room with the door closed: always, always, ALWAYS knock. Then, WAIT for a response before entering. Some things cannot be erased from a parents'mind.

4. Lastly, I started wearing pre-pregnancy shorts this week. Well, let me clarify. I wear them around the house ONLY. The muffin top is too big to go public, but I consider it motivation to eat the right stuff. It's easier to eat fat foods (woot woot for cheesecake!) in fat pants (Victoria Secret sweats, anyone?) than fat foods in skinny shorts (dont wanna bust those Jessica Simpson forever cuff shorts at the seams!) BUT, id rather be a skinny biotch than natty fatty, so here's to almond butter and celery sticks, folks!

It was a rough week, but nothing that a long run and a beer can't fix. Here's to this week!

Lisa:

1) Took a trip to my happy place, Amish Country in PA, and went completely unplugged. It was so refreshing. We all rebooted, ate delicious food, played with our friends, and had a blast.

2) The spawn are ready for school. They have all their supplies, their clothes and shoes....now, the incessant whining to get to school NOW has begun. Not sure whether to be happy or just shake my head at all of it.

3) Sailor has started to play with my baby bump every single time he enters the room I am in. He shakes the tummy and tries to get Cubby to move around, which always works. They're banding together already. Very, very dangerous!

4) Never assume that your littles don't eavesdrop on your conversations. They seriously know everything. I overheard the girls mentioning to the Sailor my plans for his birthday. They told him everything: dinner plans, presents, special day trip or something....ALL of it. Lesson: close the door or wait until they're napping. Meanwhile, I have to find a way to change all birthday plans, so the Sailor is surprised still. Sigh!

Liz:
1) The easiest way to get Silas to eat something is to threaten to eat it yourself.  Obviously this only works if I'll actually eat it.

2) If you don't want an infant to play with something, ignore their attempts to play with it otherwise they'll find the value you do in it and continue to go after it. My friend Michelle has an amazing tea set from her travels on a low shelf. Silas broke a cup 2 years ago. Sage is after the rest. Incessantly.

3) It's not really something I learned, more of something I remembered this week: I miss my friends in Victoria. Being here for a little bit makes me remember what it was like to have lots of people around to talk to and hang out with <3

4) Silas told me this morning, "I can't have a banana! I'll get big!" That's the goal right? So don't eat bananas, you'll get big. Then as Mike was walking in from just waking up Silas said, "Look! It has a 'dicker for me!" meaning the sticker on the bananas. Ummm, he started. "Sticker babe."

What did you learn this week? Anything fun? Share it with us! We love to learn new things too.

Quick! Cook This!

Cooking. Something many adults hate. One thing I hate about parenting (and being an adult really) is food decisions. I hate deciding what to eat. I hate grocery shopping. I hate cooking while trying to entertain children (helloooooo NickJr). I would be perfectly happy ordering out pizza every day...probably for a week. But you get my point. Cooking and related behaviors no bueno.

UNLESS.

Unless I have a great recipe which means it's easy and requires fewer than, oh, five ingredients (remember, la-zy, say it with me). I'm constantly trolling the internet for easy yummyness. Thursday I was in luck - I scored two quick recipes off Twitter by 8 am! Go me! So I paired them together and voila, adult dinner!

Zucchini fries. Eat them.

Taco Pockets. Super yum and easy

So check these out. First, baked zucchini fries from My Organized Chaos. 8 ingredients, super easy, and super tasty. I made the mistake of only making one baking sheet full - don't make that mistake. Cook the whole zucchini or it will end up looking like this before dinner's served. 

Second, Taco Pockets from To Be Thode. Four ingredients. Super simple.

What are some of your favorite quick and easy recipes? Share in the comments!

Things We Learned This Week (August 11, 2013 edition)

What have the mamas learned about life, parenting, and the mix this week? Read on. At the end feel free to add what you've learned by adding a comment - we'd love to hear from you!

Robyn:

1. Forceable love

My 14 year old son, Bailey, and 5 year old son, Kasen, have had some difficulty getting along lately. They bicker and complain constantly (ex."He hates me" "No I don't" "Yes you do" "No I don't" "You said you did" "No I didn't") I now know how my mother felt all those years that my brother and I did the same thing. It just makes me want to pull my hair out, and lock them in a closet with a juice box and some Cheetos until they work it out themselves! DING!!!  In my head, my creative parenting lightning bolt turns on. I'll make them work together. Instead of being a bully, I offered the choice of being grounded for electronics for a week (which is like death according to my teen) or to teach his brother some board games. They both didnt want to do it, cried like babies, and then an hour later, I hear laughter. Ahhh...Bliss! Then today, they even hugged each other!  Mom-1, kids-0

2. Put that thing away!

 I'm always looking at the newest things people come up with. Gadgets and gizmos of plenty...whozits and whatzits galore (can you name the Disney movie? Little Mermaid!) It never fails that every time I see a 'as seen on TV' item in the local grocery store, I think two things: 1. OMG I NEED THAT! 2. Does it really work? Reality sets in with thought #2, and then I turn and walk away. The latest seen gadget blew my mind. Have you heard of mouth guards? What about toe guards? What about CAMEL TOE GUARDS? That's right ladies. I've learned that there IS such a thing. You can get your very own Cuchini! Your 'V' cleavage is noticed, but you should buy bigger yoga pants or (seriously) hide that shit. Or maybe you like to advertise that moose knuckle. But please, I beg of you do everyone else a favor and buy a Cuchini!

3. What's really in BC?

Taking birth control in the pill form sucks. It's not the physically taking it part that's bothersome. It's the remembering to take it. Everyday. Around the same time. I can barely remember if I showered and brushed my teeth today! As I was taking my vitamins and BC in the dark kitchen the other night, I felt a pill slip and heard it hit the floor. Oh No! Instantly, I hit the ground like a soldier in the field. Trying to get eye level with the tile, my husband says, "What are you doing?" I frantically replied "I dropped my BC. I have to find it. We can't have another baby! I need it. Help me please! Gotta find it (as I'm bearcrawling through my kitchen)" To which he says "Huh. Maybe BC really does have crack in it."

Lisa:
1) Hard work really does pay off. I worked hard on a photobook for Banshee's first official year of school and it turned out really great. Better than I expected. Seriously loving on Shutterfly right now!

2)Sometimes taking a break just to play together is a blessing in disguise. We all decided to hang out in our bed and have a tickle fight. It was awesome and gave us the energy to continue packing all our things into boxes.

3) Taking 15 minutes to clean one spot in the house, really does help me out. I have been attempting this FlyLady program for years; it hasn't really worked. Mainly because I am tired. But, this 15 minute cleaning has really helped me out this time! Especially now that our house is constantly being visited by  inspectors in preparation for the move.

4) Take time to commune with nature. The girls and I like to take nature walks and bug safaris. It is during this time that we really listen to the sounds of nature and just learn to take a minute to breathe...until one of the wolves ends up jumping off the observation deck into the pond while chasing a goose. Sigh! :)

Liz:
1) My 1-year-old hates shoes. Like hates them. He won't walk with them on. He'll crawl instead and cry the whole time. Really kid? So I've started putting socks on his feet all the damn time so that he gets the idea. Sometime soon hopefully we'll graduate to shoes without drama.

2) I tell everyone else not to procrastinate but man, if procrastinating working on my dissertation was a job, I'd be on the cover of Forbes. Here's the sad part. Once I sit down and write, I'm great, I can do it for hours. It's the forcing myself to open the file folder full of interview transcripts that is daunting I guess. I'm forcing myself to do one per day (at least reading, coding, and writing about the data). I will be done. I will not be ABD.

3) Telling myself that I have to save money elsewhere because gas for the Pilot is literally 3x as expensive as the Prius is hard. I didn't do very well this week. Mike's laptop died so I bought him a tablet...and a keyboard...and one for myself (to work on the blog, ya?) and a keyboard for me, because that's fair...here's the funny part. That same day Mike came home and told me he'd gotten assigned two projects at work that required a database program or at least Excel but the computer he used at work only did ordering. "Aw what if I told you you could do them on Google Docs and save it to Google Drive and access it anywhere?" Well that would be great, he responded. "OK good, our tablets arrive Friday." Liz for the win!

What did you learn this week? We'd love to hear about it - add it in the Comments section!

How Do We Love Two Children?

Silas love

Silas was my first son. He was born in 2010 and we spent almost two years becoming "bess frens" (best friends) before his brother, Sage, was born in 2012. If I had to say Silas was more attached to one parent, I would say he was my right hip and Mike (my husband) would agree. For months I wondered if we should have a second child, or if we should just leave well enough alone and be happy with what we knew (as opposed to what we didn't).

Coming from a household with only one child (yes, I was an only, what?), I wasn't exactly sure how the whole "loving two kids" thing would work. Could it work, I wondered. Could I do it on what felt like my already strained emotional budget? Having an anxiety disorder takes up a lot of your available energy so I worried (HA! Me! Worry!) that it would be a bad idea and I'd screw up two children's lives. What parent doesn't though right? (Admit it, at least to yourself, you don't have to do it in public)

As luck would have it, I didn't get the chance to decide yes or no on the second child bit - we found out November 14, 2011 (my birthday, aww!) that we were expecting again and I was...angry? Probably because I didn't get to decide that this is what we were doing. (While you may think we could have had an abortion that wasn't a thought in either of our heads). And then I had a rockin' pregnancy (sarcasm) and Sage was born early (see the previous posts in July 2012 to read more) and that all added to my worry that my idea or not, this was Not Going To Be Good.


But then I sat in the NICU with this tiny boy's hand wrapped around my finger...and I cried. What I worried about, it didn't matter. It would be what I did with these two amazing Small Men that would influence them to be amazing people - at least the part of their lives that I could influence. So I promised my little fighting preemie that I would give both of them everything I had.

Fast forward to a year later. Sage is 13 months. Silas is 3. Sage has gone through these spurts where he seems to have a delay of some sort (which I could totally give him, I mean, he was early) but then catches up super fast. He's walking. He's harassing his brother (i.e., "Say, be quiet!" Sage blows a raspberry at Silas and laughs. "Be quiet Bother!" Raspberry. "Mom! Say won't be quiet!"). I try to divide my time equally between them, but I'm also trying to show them how triage works (one has a dirty diaper, and one is bleeding...help one while explaining to the other that they are next in line and their wait time is approximately 3 minutes). I'm trying my best to show them how to be good brothers. I share kisses, tickles, and love equally (I think). I think.


So how do you love two children? Differently. Each has different wants and needs (and is at a different stage of childhood). You do, quite literally, the best you can. I noticed that Sage developed this "thing" where he would play Peekaboo with you and look super cute until you picked him up. If you didn't (and you walked away), well, he screamed. Rather than getting angry I realized this was probably his way of telling me he needed more attention than what he was getting. Parenting adjustment. Then Silas started not doing so well with potty training. Adjustment.

Adjustment. It's what's for dinner. And I can tell you, as someone with daily anxiety, that's freaky (man). But I've learned to roll with it and pick up the closest child and love on it. And that's all you can do, right?

How did your family adjust to a new addition? Do you wonder if you "have it in you" to have children (or more than one child)?

Music Party (with Prizes)!

This evening (9 E/8 C) we’ll be playing a quick game where you could be entered to win one of two $10 iTunes gift cards. All you have to do is suggest songs for an exercise/running playlist on the thread on our Facebook page. Once we “close” the game at 10 p.m. Eastern, 9 p.m. Central, we’ll randomly choose two participants to win (using Random.org). By providing us with a song you are indicating that you would like to be entered into the drawing. Winners will be contacted and need to provide their email address for the gift card to be sent.

First, make sure that you like our Facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/mamaaroundthehouse

Then at 9 p.m. Eastern/8 p.m. Central, come hang out on the page. We’ll announce the start of the game and ask you to post at least one song (title and artist) for a running/exercise playlist. These songs will be published as a list on a future blog post as well (and we’ll probably use them as we train for our 5K in September).

Want extra entries? Tweet about the game (tagging @MamaArndThHouse) and provide the link to our blog post about the game. Tweets must be sent prior to 9:30 p.m. Eastern/8:30 p.m. Central to count.

A possible Tweet looks like this: 
 
Love #free #music? Come play tonight at 9E/8C! @MamaArndThHouse http://mamaaroundthehouse.blogspot.com/2013/08/music-party-with-prizes.html

Making a Parent's Life Easier

Within the past couple of weeks I've had a couple of friends observe me at home (not in a creepy way, we were hanging out and I was multitasking) and comment that I make "it" (being a parent) look so easy.

*Giggle* Easy?!

Another one said, "You don't freak out, you just roll with it." Why yes I do, otherwise I'd be in constant freak out mode and that helps nobody.

So what do I do that makes "it" easy? Read on. Will all of these work for you and your fam? Maybe not. But one may help and if so, that's awesome.

1) Make schedules. For example, we menu plan and I type it out and it goes on the bulletin board. As I'm making the menu for the week I keep in mind what meals are super easy and the days we could use super easy. If you have multiple family members with activities, make a calendar so everyone can see. Use the calendar to plan ("Well I could grocery shop while Ryan's at soccer practice" if you don't mind missing soccer practice). I even have a cleaning schedule and I don't break it unless there's a disaster. You know why? The toilet can really wait to be cleaned until Saturday (its scheduled day). Nobody will die if we wait until Saturday. Now if they will, that's another story.

2) Multitask. Laundry going, dishwasher going, vacuuming, while my hair is dying? Done it. Just remember you can't multitask things that take a lot if brain power!

3) Plan ahead. If you have 5 minutes, do what will need to be done for later. Prepare dinner (OK that takes longer than 5 minutes). Set out the kids' clothes and pajamas. Or better yet make them do it! This way, when that activity (i.e. making dinner) comes up, you're not scrambling. It's leisurely. Scrambling is stressful.

4) Do now for a better later. If you have kids, they want a relaxed and undivided you. They don't want Texting Mommy or On Work Email Daddy. So if you can do that stuff now to spend a block of time with them later...well that's what I'd do.

5) Most important: give yourself a break. I mean this in two ways. First, literally, take some time for yourself when there's nobody saying, "Mommy? I ha some cheese? Mommy? I watch Handy Manny? Mommy?" (or is that just my house?). Second, forget other people and seriously give yourself a break - the vacuuming will get done eventually (on Sunday says the schedule), and you ARE a good parent even if you don't look like the neighbor who has five kids (and a nanny). Give yourself a break. This isn't Mommy Wars. We're not competing.

What, if any, of these suggestions are you planning on trying? What may work for you and your family? Do you have any other suggestions to add to the list?

Bloggers Chat about Breastfeeding for World Breastfeeding Week

Liz: August 1st through 7th is World Breastfeeding Week. If I remember correctly the whole month is National Breastfeeding Month. I wish we lived in a world where we didn't have to have weeks and months to remind us about our feeding options for children, but I think that's the goal - acceptance and support. After reading a post from the Huffington Post about bloggers suggesting we support all moms and their feeding choices, I knew that it would be interesting to dialogue with my fellow Mama(s) about their choices and how they made them feel.

How many children do you have and how old are they?
Liz: Two boys, Silas and Sage, 3 and 1.

Lisa: Two girls, Pixy and Banshee, 5 and 3. One boy, Cubby, in utero.

Robyn: 3 boys, Bailey, 14, Sean, 8 Kasen 5, and 1 girl, Reagan, 1 month

Did you breast feed, formula feed, supplement breast with formula...?
Liz: I formula fed with both of them. I initially tried breast feeding but wasn't able to do it.

Lisa: I breastfed both of the girls for 11 months and they weaned themselves. With Pixy, who was a tiny 5lb thing, I supplemented with formula to fatten her up.

Robyn: Breasfed all the way. Step-son Bailey was formula fed.

Why did you make the choices you made?
Liz: I had high risk pregnancies after having a stroke in 2008. I took medication that decreased blood clotting and apparently influenced milk production. After both boys were born I tried to feed them both for about 3 weeks. I put a lot more effort into it with Sage because I thought maybe I hadn't tried hard enough or long enough with Silas. But as soon as I stopped taking my anticoagulant medication my milk completely dried up both times. So sometimes it feels like formula was a choice and other times I think it was a choice made for me by my body.

Lisa: Honestly, we are a military family on a budget. I knew that formula was expensive and I figured I would give breastfeeding a try. It was difficult, because all the women close to me had formula fed and I didn't get the support I needed. This was something women with no other recourse did, not someone from this century. But, I stuck to my conviction to try and if it didn't work, there was always formula. I am all about rolling with the punches.

Robyn: It just seemed natural. Plus, breastfeeding burns calories!

How did you feel about your choices?
Liz: With Silas when I finally decided to only FF I felt guilty like I was doing my kid a disservice. Even though I knew I'd done everything I could. When I decided to FF only with Sage I felt less guilty because I'd been through it before and knew that feeling guilty was silly - it wasn't like I was not feeding my kid.

Lisa: I was at peace with all of my choices. My body said it was "all systems go" to breastfeed and I felt I did it well. Every once in a while, I do feel guilty that I didn't ask the girls to breastfeed longer, but honestly, if they were ready to stop at 11 months I wasn't about to force the issue. I think we have all turned out great.

Robyn: I felt great knowing that my body was put here for a purpose (not just for dudes to check out my rack).

What do you wish you could tell other moms who are facing the challenges related to choosing how to feed their child(ren)?
Liz: I teach child psychology classes and even though the books don't talk about this, I do. We talk about feeding options. I talk about BFing and the services available to help (lactation consultants at the hospital, BFing classes before baby's born, La Leche League mentors, etc.). I also remind students that sometimes, moms don't choose to FF and relay my experiences. I also talk about how sometimes Mom is sick and can't BF and these are all things we need to think about before we look askance at someone who's feeding their kid in public in a way that we didn't choose. I would love to tell Moms of the world to put all the Mommy War social comparisons aside and just support each other. You know how hard it is to mommy (and if you don't yet, you will). Why add that extra stress of being crappy to each other over feeding strategies? Feed your kid. Bam.

Lisa: Do what you think is best, regardless of what information is out there. When it comes to mommyhood, there is no right answer! All children are different, all Mamas are different! Why should we pressure each other to fit a certain mold? Some women will be able to breastfeed with no problem, others might require the help of formula. As mamas, we can never truly prepare for everything, but we can educate ourselves and support each other, to make the right choices for us. Mommyhood is not going to be stress-free, not by a long shot, just get it done and be happy.

Robyn: To grow into the idea of telling society to beat it! Sometimes it's not just the mom's decision, it's what works best for the family. Find the support you need (friends, family, other moms, groups, discussion forums) when you make the decision of breast or bottle. Once you have support, you'll feel more confident that you're doing the right thing.

How would you answer these questions? If you're a mom, what was your feeding experience like and how did people respond to it?

Things We Learned This Week (August 4th Edition)

Our first group post! We're excited!

So the prompt is, "What did you learn this week?"

Liz:
1)  I learned I hate car shopping. It makes me anxious. My husband somehow has a 0 credit score. How is this possible? We've bought two houses before. I don't get it. But we are now the proud er...not owners...drivers...payers...of a 2013 Honda Pilot. And it rocks my socks. And Silas decided this week that he likes it too (at first he wanted to "Take ih back and geh our car"). Driving an SUV is way different than driving the Prius. This will take some getting used to.

2)  Sage has slept through the night twice. I'm not sure what's going on. Before he was waking up and going right back to sleep if I changed his diaper. Now...he wakes up, mehs a few times, and puts himself back to sleep. I like it. Become the new norm please. Of course now I can't sleep though.

3)  Coordinating the blog with two lovely mamas is interesting to start off with. I'm a control freak and I'm handing over some to two friends...if anyone sees me freak out, understand why. Love my girls!

4)  Quitting smoking (in May) has made it so much easier to run. I ran for 10 minutes straight (2x in one session) twice this week. And I wasn't dying when I finished. Soaked in sweat, yes, but not cardio dying. Go me.

Lisa:
1) I learned that "see you laters" are just as hard as "goodbyes". Banshee has graduated from her preschool at Kennedy Krieger and during the party, after showing much improvement in behavior and social skills, she shut down on me. No talking, no smiling, just hiding behind me. It was sad. Banshee was not happy that she was done with school and even more unhappy that she wasn't going to see her teachers everyday, just for visits here and there. It was a very hard concept to prepare for and with all the change going on in our lives, I felt horrible that I couldn't shield her from something like this. We will keep muddling through together though. She is much better today!

2) Finding the time to continue jotting down "simple joys" in my Simple Joy journal. Let's face it, the day fills up like crazy for Mamas and the last thing you want to do is pick up a pencil to write down the most enjoyable moment of the day "What do you mean? NOW! When I am in bed!" But, taking the 5 minutes to really think about what made you smile and write down a couple of sentences, is fast becoming an enjoyable experience.

3)Breaking the news of our pregnancy and the sex of the baby. This floored some people, mainly because I am 5 months along and no one knew. We had to keep it secret for a bit, due to some early complications, but Mr.Cubby is determined to stay in there and meet everyone in December. I am panicking a little too...I have no boy gear. Sigh!

4) Being unplugged every once in a while, is not a bad thing. I found the time I had been messing around on Facebook, I used it for other tasks around the house. Mainly, helping to get things ready for our move and ::gasp:: read uninterrupted! Woohoo!

Robyn:
1) For all the BF moms, there has been some controversy over why babies get 'that drunk look' on their faces after BF'ing. You know, the glazed over and half open eyes while their body is as limp as a dishrag while trying to burp? Well, get this! It has been linked to the THC receptors in a baby's brain. (Seriously?!) That's right, breast milk will inadvertently get your baby high! I almost spit out my drink (and hopefully didn't cause you do to the same) while reading this BOGUS article. Hmmm..that must be why my other kiddos are so smart. Because I got them "high" for 10 months. Sheesh!

2) Having a postpartum (gyno) appointment is apparently not the time to multi-task. After being put in a room and being told "It will be a while, there are 3 more ahead of you", I cringed. Not only is this appointment not a favorite, but parking is charged by the half hour. So, I decided to do what any busy mommy would do with our precious time: Multi-task. While breastfeeding, I was on the phone with a cruise line (my kids Christmas present this year. I know, genius idea!). I hear a knock at the door, and in walks the doc. Pretty sure I had the deer in headlights look as my doc asks "So, YOU'RE not ready yet?" Clearly not, doc! Pants still on, drape sitting nicely folded in a square on the exam table, and a baby on the boobie. Here I was, trying to explain to two men (with completely different occupations) what was going on. Let me say that it felt very uncomfortable knowing one wanted to get in my pants, and one wanted to take my money. Good thing I know which one was which!

3) For those with teenagers: There is a new game called Oreo (as explained by my 14 year old). While sitting with a group of friends (guys and girls), one teenager will ask another one "out". Out meaning being to have the BF/GF title at school only. The purpose is to see who really likes who. Yep. That's it. Simple. Hey, no complaints from this parent! This is the only time I'm thankful for my children growing up to be technology geeks. At the age of 14, I was thinking about more than just "going out" with boys. Heck, my mind was in the gutter! I was thinking about doing ______ (Feel free to fill in the blank with comments).

What did you learn about yourself or others this week? We'd love to hear about it in the comments.

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I'm So Excited!

Since I'm a parent of small children, I read that title in Mike Myers playing The Cat In The Hat's voice.

What am I excited for? Two things. The first one's awe-some! Starting today, I'm working with two of my best girls on the blog - it's no longer about one Mama around here. Enter Mama(s) Robyn and Lisa. Beginners, eyes on Robyn...oh sorry, I was channeling Jillian Michaels for a minute there. I can't wait for you to meet them. Tomorrow's and Saturday's posts will be devoted to introducing the Mama(s) to the Around the House community. I'm so excited!

Second, the Mama(s) are participating in a 30-day blogging challenge starting today. We will be rocking out the entire month of August.

So it's the start of a brand spankin' new month - what are you looking forward to in August?

First Time Honda Buyer, Comin' Through!

As our readers may know, I've driven a Prius since 2009. We bought it before the boys were born, before they were even thought of, and it was a great little car. It served us well. Until there were too many Wrights to travel comfortably in the 4-door hatchback of Prius goodness. Liz, Mike, Silas, Sage, and the two Girly dogs could no longer travel happily in the Prius. There was just not enough space. So Daddy and I started looking for a new ride.

After test driving a used Honda Pilot (2011) (among many other vehicles...many. other. vehicles. it was a long day), I felt I had found The One. It had enough seats for everybody and then some. It had third row seating, enough for three others besides us (and not uncomfortably I might add). The third row folded down and there was trunk space for bags and Girly dogs and groceries. The used model I looked at had a backup camera in the rear view mirror. I'm a very kinesthetic person, and to me, it just felt right. Good head space. Good space around the arms. Not cramped.

I needed Mike to drive one before I did anything because, well, he's 6'8" - if he doesn't fit in a car (comfortably), then I won't get it. Last Saturday evening we left the boys with some friends and I took Mike to drive everything on my (short) list of vehicles I liked. Rather than go back to the used dealership I had started at, I suggested we head to the source - an actual Honda dealership. They had to have more used Pilots than a random dealership right?

We pulled in to Gunn Honda and we were surprised - no salespeople were hawking us from the sidewalk. After days of looking at cars, I wondered what was up. We went inside. It was Saturday. 6 p.m. (they closed at 7). Bad us for looking so late (and if you've ever worked retail you're thinking, "I hate those people!"). Everyone was busy. Finally I grabbed an employee who was walking out the door and asked if there was a line or if we should sign in to see someone. He told me he could find me someone and if he couldn't, then he could show us a car. His name was Hugo, and he worked in Internet Sales (as in you indicate interest online and he can/will actually bring you the car to test drive at your work or wherever you need him to). We asked him about used Pilots and he showed us one they had - he also reminded us that the price of this new one was similar in price to a brand new base model. Brand new you say? It can't be.

But it was. Mike got to test drive a 2013 Honda Pilot LX (even newer than the one I did, grumble grumble). And he was pretty excited about it. It had good leg and knee room for him. He did not have to put the seat all the way back to drive - there was actually still some room to move it back (so it could be good for someone even taller). After Mike drove we left because we didn't want to be those people who were even there AFTER the store closed. Hugo asked us to fill out an online financing application and I went back on Monday to talk about financing and to get the Prius appraised. On Tuesday we were finally able to sit with financing and get papers signed.

Watch out now...

Mind you, we went in after Mike got off work and brought two kiddos with us. Hugo hung out with Silas in Gunn's kid-friendly room (NickJr playing, toys galore, lots of stuff to do...I wanted to stay there...) so that we could get everything done. I'm honestly not sure I've ever met a staff that would bend over backwards for us like the Honda staff did. Yes, I know, they're trying to sell cars, but you can tell that the folks at Gunn Honda are appreciative of your business and want to help you reach the goal you have of buying a car you want and can afford. They have the One Price feature where their price is there, displayed in the vehicle, and the staff is salary rather than commission-based. So really you get what you see, which is nice to see at a car dealership.

Our newest family member

So I'm excited to say we've added a 2013 Honday Pilot LX to our family. We're first time Honda buyers and super excited about it. Now comes the period where we learn how to turn off the AC and turn on the radio. That's the worst part of buying a new car isn't it? All your stuff's in a different spot. They explained it all to us, but I think you get so overwhelmed you just stop remembering. But I know how to fold down the seats, and if I fold down all the seats I can fit my bike in there. I could fit a gorilla in there. OK, maybe not, but you get the picture.


I'm excited to learn more about my new car and thankful for all the folks at Gunn Honda for helping us. Now I'm off to learn to park something that's about twice the size of my previous car. Wish me luck...

**And no, nobody paid me to write this. I'm sincerely appreciative and thankful for a good customer service experience. I'm a firm believer that you should always let people know when they're doing a fantastic job.**