Tuesday, December 31, 2013

I'm sorry...we are breaking up.

Here's the thing: it's you, not me. I couldn't believe I fell for your same song and dance. It never fails. I see you from across the room, all dressed in your holiday finery. You start to draw me near. I know I'm the prey and you're hunting me...I hate you for it.
I'm not sure why we do this. We both know how this is going to end: me hating myself in the morning, you sitting all smug in your holiday kitschy glory. Me sick to my stomach, you sparkling with delight. I really hate you for making me go through this every year, damn Christmas dessert from hell!!!!
Yes, I love my sweets and every year, there is one Christmas dinner dessert that literally, makes me sick to my stomach and then leaves me regretting digestion. This year, it was a random cake that someone else made and for lack of better things to do, I decided to munch down. It has now been two days that I have been worshipping porcelain gods. I want to curl up in the fetal position and rock on the cold tile floor. Why do I do this to myself?!
Worse still, the damn cake, which I have no idea what kind if cake it is, is almost looking at me snugly from the kitchen counter, as if to say: I'm wonderful, you can't handle me and that's why I had to poison you. It is mocking me. I can tell. It thinks it's better than me. The way I feel right now, it must be right.
In a moment of strength or perhaps stupidity, I entered the kitchen without the villainous Christmas cake noticing. I snuck up to it and screamed out my frustrations at it: I hate you. We are so done! I'm going to hate myself tomorrow but this is a guilt I can live with. It was all hateful hateful venom spilling from my mouth....and with that, I chucked the smug Christmas cake into the trash can. I DID IT!! I beat it. I'm better than it...damn hateful full-of-arsenic-possibly-hemlock Christmas cake. Granted, I still felt like hell. My stomach was still protesting every step and every drink of water. By sending me to the bathroom continuously. Sigh!
In smug triumph, I walked away from the kitchen, as the trash can lid melodramatically closed in slow motion. I clicked the light switch off and then...I heard it. Damn cake was talking to me as it lay dying a slow death in the trash can, along with the castoffs from our delicious Christmas dinner. I'm imagining it, right? Nope. As I tried to keep my head high, I couldn't help but shiver. The cake, perhaps noticing my slight fear and weakened state, laughed darkly and shouted: I will see you next year!!
I decided not to listen, to walk away. We were breaking up. I was not going to listen to its hateful parting shot. There's no way THIS Christmas cake would come back from the dead. But as I thought back to all the other Christmases where this had happened to me, I couldn't help but think that maybe this crazy yearly break up was being handled by some vengeful ghost. Oh well...better luck next year.
                Have you had a crazy holiday food story? Tell the Mamas all about it. ;) 
Monday, December 30, 2013

$50 Target Gift Card Giveaway Sponsored by Gift Card Rescue Ends 1/14

This website did not receive anything in exchange for this post. Enjoy the giveaway!

giftcardrescue

Gift Card Rescue allows you to buy gift cards and save up to 35% and sell your unwanted gift cards for up to 92% cash back using their gift card exchange. Gift Card Rescue is one of the top ranked gift card services around. They take pride in providing the best customer support in the industry. A few reasons why GiftCardRescue.com is rated highly in their industry: their customer service is exceptional, they provide a 100% money-back guarantee, they get your money fast, they keep you informed every step of the way, they are a reputable, best-in-class gift card exchange, and they offer free shipping.

GiftCardRescue_logo_newTagline_SITE_READY

It is really easy to use their service. You are able to sell gift cards online in just a few easy steps. Simply type in your merchant (must be a plastic gift card) along with the year and the expiration date. Something to remember is they accept gift cards with a value of $20 to $5000. Selling your Target gift card with a value of $100 to Gift Card Rescue will score you $89.00!! Not only can you sell your gift cards, you can also buy gift cards online at Gift Card Exchange. By visiting here you can see all of the gift cards that are currently available. Target gift cards can be purchased with a savings of 4.5% and The Children's Place for an 18% savings. If you need a gift card I suggest visiting Gift Card Rescue. You will receive your gift card in about 3 business days.


Connect With Gift Card Rescue: Facebook | Twitter | Google+ | Youtube

GIVEAWAY
Sponsored by Gift Card Rescue and Hosted by It's Peachy keen and Sweet Southern Lovin
Open to US Residents only, 18+ I am not responsible for prize fulfillment or shipping mishaps. Ends January 14 Midnight EST.

What We Learned (December 29th Edition)

Our last What We Learned post for the year! How quickly the time has flown by. Before we start, we want to thank everyone who has read our blog this year. We're looking forward to another great year of fun and funny posts and interacting with our readers. We hope everyone enjoyed their holidays and enjoys the new year!

Liz:
1) I learned that Silas has an amazing heart and is very loving to this Mama. On Monday my joints ached (I have Lupus and arthritis is part of it) and I was laying on the floor in pain after sitting on the floor playing with the boys. Silas stopped playing multiple times to come over and lay down with me. He took my hand and interlaced his fingers with mine and asked, "Does it hurt Mommy? I sorry you hurt." Even thinking about it made me cry. My husband actually took a picture because he didn't realize that was what was going on. I will forever keep this picture to remind me of how loving my son can be even in the face of my pain.
Mamas Around the House Blog
Silas and Liz as taken by Mike

2) I may be proactive but I need to be a little bit more so. We had this great idea for Silas for Christmas. We were going to get a pirate chest and put his "big" toy from Santa in there (a helicopter). I ordered the cardboard chest and didn't open it, assuming it would be big enough. You can tell where this is going. When I finally opened it on Christmas eve...well...it was about the size of a shoe box. Nothing would fit in there. #Christmasplanningfail

Robyn:
1. I've learned how non-absorbent spandex like, stretchy material can be. You see, I had an undershirt on (as a cleavage concealer) with loose pj pants as we all sat down to watch the movie 'Turbo'. As I went to take a sip of beer, Reagan reached up and grabbed the neck of the bottle. HOLY COLD!!! Cold beer down the shirt, between the cleavage, still running down INTO my belly button, and then into the pants. Everyone thought I was crazy when I lept from the couch and ran out of the living room like a mad woman!

2. Being nice can be mistaken for flirting. 
I smile, he smiles. We walk into the store together. 
Random man: 'Hey! What are you doing for Christmas?' 
Silent brain:'You, if I was single'
Reality:'Not much.' 
Smile and walk away. 
One day I'll say it out loud just for a reaction!

Lisa:
Lisa had Cubby's baptism this past weekend and a busy week so she'll be back next week and will write her own post about Christmas and food on Tuesday.


What about you, what did you learn this week? Share with us below in the comments.
Thursday, December 26, 2013

Why Doesn't My Partner Want to Have Sex With Me? (Part 2)

Last time we talked about biological reasons for decreased sex drive. Today we'll look at psychological reasons for a partner's lack of sexual interest. These are the things I hear (or overhear) from people...

"He just doesn't 'get' me anymore."

"All she thinks about is the kids, and not me, not my wants and needs."

"You guys still have sex? That's funny."

What are some possible psychological reasons for decreased sexual intimacy in a relationship?

Changes
As we age, we change (duh), but if a couple got together at a young age then their personalities and typical behaviors are going to change as they move into middle adulthood. Physical connection may become less of a priority for some while mental and/or emotional connection may become more important to them. Here's where Gary Chapman's Five Love Languages can come in handy. Chapman believes that each of us (sometimes at different times in our lives) want to be shown love in certain ways. Some people feel loved when someone does something for them (acts of service). Some people feel loved when they receive gifts. Some people feel loved when they are told they are awesome (words of affirmation). What's your partner's love language? Do you give them what they "need" to feel loved? If not, why not? Try working in some behaviors that fit your partner's love language and see where it leads you. Don't know their love language? Take the quiz with them on Chapman's website. Taking turns taking the quiz can help you see what your partner's language is, and it can show your partner what your language is. If we work together to make each other feel loved, then we're moving in the right direction toward more emotional and sexual intimacy.

It's a heart of raked leaves - a cute gift!

Feeling "Underbenefited"
In social psychology there's a term that I think is super important to relationships and it's "equity." This basically means that people feel that what they do in the relationship (around the house, with the kids) is equal to what the other person does. If a person feels they do more X (more child care, more housework) then they feel underbenefited - they feel a lack of equity. They may even feel (or say) that you get more free time or that you carry less of the "burden" brought on by your family/home. Many times this perception of doing more is inaccurate - as an individual, I see what I do (obviously because I'm doing it) but I don't see what the other person does all the time. I don't know their thoughts and how much they think about me or our family or our home or our...you get the picture. So I assume I do more because I know what I do. Feeling underbenefited can make people feel, well, downright angry at their spouse. Angry people typically don't want to touch their spouse, never mind have sex with them.

So what do we do about this? Communicate. Figure out what they feel are the things they do and what they think you do. Make lists together of what you actually do. Find out through (non-negative) conversation what your spouse wishes you would do more of. By non-negative conversation I mean listen (actually listen, don't wait for your turn to speak), repeat back to them what you're hearing them say, and stay positive (no eye rolling, no raising of voices, no talking over them). Now obviously you can't control what they do, but set an example for positive conversation. Once we know how they perceive the situation, do something about it. If they say you never do the dishes, then do the dishes. Make it a point to do what they perceive you don't (if possible). And keep doing it (again, if possible). Once we've established a pattern of attempting to create equity in our spouse's eyes, they're more likely to view us in a positive light and be willing to do things for us as well. People who feel that equity is being established are definitely more likely to initiate intimate behaviors.

Feeling bored
Have you ever sat back and thought, "We do the same damned thing every single night. We come home, we have dinner, we bathe unruly children, we get unruly children into their beds, then we watch TV, shower, and go to bed ourselves"? Consistency is great for kids (although "difference" is nice sometimes too like vacations or trips to the park or movies) but it can also create low levels of arousal or what we usually call "boredom." Our brain is under stimulated by consistency and may daydream or not be focused on our current day-to-day life. So what can you do? Help make your spouse un bored. Seriously. Get a babysitter, don't tell your spouse (or tell them "we're doing something special tonight" but not let on what so they don't make plans), and do something different. Something. Anything. Can't afford a babysitter? Exchange babysitting services with a friend with kids. You'll take their brood next weekend. Do something different. Show your spouse that you too are feeling the complacency bug and that you're willing and interested in getting rid of it.

You Expect It
You got it, expecting sex can cause you to not have it (especially if your spouse is feeling a lack of equity). Some women would be turned on by hearing, "I bought you new lingerie so you can model it for me tonight," but some may just think, "So...what, am I prostitute? You buy me stuff, I have sex with you? That's how you want this to work?" Giving a gift and hoping for sex in return can backfire. "I made you breakfast in bed so maybe tonight you can give me something in bed" can make the rest of your day silent as your wife refuses to speak to you and thinks bad thoughts about you. Again, some women find suggestions like these examples funny or cute, but some may not. This is where knowing your spouse and gauging their mood will be important. If your spouse's Love Language is giving gifts or acts of service, simply doing these things for them will make them feel loved. People who feel loved are more likely to want to have sex with you. Period. You don't need to tell them to or cajole them typically.


Obviously these two posts are not "all inclusive." There's no way I could talk about every single reason why a couple may not be having sex, but these lists are good starting points in trying to figure out how to make changes.
Tuesday, December 24, 2013

Review: New York Color HD Trio Eye Shadow

First let me start off by telling you I received this product complimentary from Influenster to review. I always want to tell people that before doing a review, but I also want you to know that my reviews are my own views on the product (not a sponsored post).

So let's talk makeup. You've seen that I have a penchant for purchasing already, so when I received the NYC HD Trio Eye Shadow in Long Beach Sands I was excited to try it out. One thing that I really liked about this line is that it came in all of the shades that fit the current season's colors. So not only can you get neutral colors that you can wear every day, but you can also get Trio sets that fit with the current fashion trends.

I'm always weary of eye makeup because my eyes are sensitive and a lot of times different products can make my allergies act up horribly. Many times it's the fragrance that sets off my allergies. No worries with the HD Trio - it's fragrance free. It's also infused with vitamins A and E and green tea extract, all of which are beneficial for your skin.

For those who aren't working with makeup every day, each Trio comes with suggestions for where to wear which color (lid, brow, crease) and when you follow those guidelines it looks great! The colors I received were muted which is good for me since I usually don't, you know, go out clubbing or spend time out at night at all. I can wear this to work and feel confident that it will stay with me all day and look professional. And at $2.99 per Trio, you could buy all 12 without breaking the bank. Win! I wanted to look at more colors so I found them at Target and Walgreens. They're easy to find, inexpensive, but long-wearing. I definitely suggest that you try these out.
-Liz

Why Doesn't My Partner Want to Have Sex With Me? (Part 1)

"After being married for nine years and having two kids, sex with my husband is the last thing on my mind. I get up at 5 am, shower and get dressed, get the kids up and dressed for school, work 9 hours, come home, make dinner, feed kids, get their bags and clothes ready for tomorrow, help my husband with baths, put the kids to bed, and by then it's 9 pm and I'm exhausted. I'd much rather lay my head down and rest than think about sex."

Photo from FreeDigitalPhotos.net "Thinking Heart" by Idea go

This story is one I hear often from parents, both male and female. But then I also hear from parents who say this:

"When we first got together we had sex often, more than twice a week. Now 10 years later I can't get my spouse to look at me, nevermind initiate sex."

As a female, as a Mom, I can't speak for both men and women on this issue. But I can tell you what I have heard from women about why sex is the last thing on their minds. The two reasons usually fall into two categories: "It's not you, it's me" and "What have you done for me lately" (sang to the tune of the song). Today we'll look at the first reason, and on Thursday we'll look at the second.

It's not you, it's me

Reasons that fit into this category include hormones, stress, lack of sleep, and body unhappiness.

Hormones
As men and women age, their level of testosterone changes. For men it slowly decreases, while for women it slowly increases. As testosterone changes, estrogen, the more female of the hormones, changes as well. As testosterone goes down, estrogen increases to balance it out, and for women it's the opposite. So as we age we find men less interested in sex and women may be more so. Biology is so helpful in our relationships...

Stress
If our partner is experiencing stress from work, bills, and multiple other things, sex drive is going to decrease as well. I think of stress like a virus to the computer of the brain. It takes up all this energy and all these mental processes, and thus we're less likely to think about others if we feel as if we're trying to "keep our head above water." Feeling overwhelmed by responsibilities can fit here as well. Getting organized can help sometimes but if money is a stressor it can be especially difficult to feel in control of the organization of that.

Sleep/Exhaustion
New parents especially are all about the lack of sleep. Newborns keep weird hours, and parents who are used to sleeping at night and sometimes getting 8 hours or more can find themselves exhausted by 11 a.m. Parents of older kids may be getting woken up for the bathroom, teething pain, illness, and a plethora of other reasons. Sleep, as you probably know, is a requirement to keep our bodies going. If we're not getting any (sleep that is), then many other parts of the brain (including the parts that relate to interest in intimacy) all but disappear. Sleep becomes the only thing we think about. When will we get it next, how much of it, and will it be interrupted. Just like stress, it takes over the brain functioning.

Body Unhappiness
I call this category body unhappiness because it can have multiple parts to it. If you're partner is sick, they're going to be less likely to initiate intimacy. If your partner has chronic pain they're going to have good days and bad days, and it can be pretty obvious that on the bad days they're not interested in naked time. Some women while they're menstruating are "just not into you" as well.

What can we do if our partner is experiencing biological reasons for lack of sexual interest? If the cause is biology, some folks choose to make an appointment with their Primary Care Physician to talk about testosterone therapy. If stress is a cause, decreasing the stress can increase sex drive and interest. What can you do to help your partner decrease their stress? Offer to relieve some of the burden if you can and do so consistently (not just for one day). Let your partner sleep when you can if sleep is an issue. The more energized they feel, the more excited they'll be about physical activity. If any sort of body unhappiness is the cause, the best idea is to wait it out and let your partner feel better.

Photo from FreeDigitalPhotos.net "Thinking Heart" by Idea go
Sunday, December 22, 2013

What We Learned (December 22, 2013 edition)

Nobody look, but Christmas is Wednesday. Shhh. Don't spook it.
This past week has been pretty hectic. What did the Mamas learn in the process of making it through it?

Lisa:

1. I made it to Christmas break!! No more feeling like I can't get things done in the morning before dropping the girls off at school. I think they were ready for it too. We can all enjoy Cubby more and just putter about the house happily. Woohoo for quality girl time plus Cubby. ;)

2. I found a new series to get hooked on:Getting On on HBO, in addition to Ja'mie: Private School Girl(I'm a die hard Chris Lilley fan).  It is dark and edgy, so it's right up my alley. I love it. It helps me decompress at night, as I have Cubby attached to me a la Chimpanzee baby style. What tops baby snuggles and getting lost in a good story line? Not much, my friends. Not much.

3. We are still debating putting up Christmas lights. Everyone on our cul de sac has some up and we are being grinchy by not putting any up. Haha! Actually, we have plenty of decorations up, just none that light up. Granted, we've been kinda busy but I kinda feel like we end to out up some lights to make our little hood complete. Talk about the oddest sense of peer pressure, huh? ;)

Robyn:
I've almost given up on Pinterest crafts. I mean, they look cool and super easy in the pics. Then, when I try, I get a whole pile of brown mess! This week, I learned to not follow directions (heh heh, rebel!) and go with my gut. The result? 

A pencil holder and a jewelry holder (but don't tell my mom, the jewelry her is her Christmas present!). 

Robyn-2 Pinterest-0


I've learned that my level of productivity goes down during weekends/when the whole family is home? But, what's that feel good hormone? Yeah, that one increases with the more cuddle time you get? Yeah, that's flowing this week. 

Liz:
1). Never go to a hairdresser you can't speak to. I chose convenience over anything else this past week and it bit me in the butt. I couldn't ask her how long she'd been cutting hair (um...she just graduated). I couldn't ask her if she worked with curly hair regularly. I couldn't ask her if she thought she could cut my hair similarly to the picture I liked and if she thought my hair type would work with it. I couldn't ask any of these things because she only spoke Spanish. Mind you, my Spanish is OK but not "salon Spanish." I can tell someone I need my hair cut and it's very curly and.....that's about it. In South Texas this is a typical thing, but it can be frustrating when there's no other stylists available (so I couldn't ask for a new one unless I wanted to leave) and we can't communicate about what we want without looking like cave people. No worries  though, Robyn worked on it and we're good!

2). I have to keep reminding myself that all babies develop differently. I looked through all my Facebook pictures of the boys yesterday (and there were A LOT of them, sorry friends) and I realized that Silas was using 2 word statements such as "go dog" at 18 months which is how old Sage is now. Sage makes sounds but doesn't regularly use any words. He randomly shouts out a whole word with no practice like "Mickey!" and "Chicken!" (seriously) but he doesn't bring you a ball and say "ball" or point to the dog and say "dog" even. I'm going back and forth between if I need to intervene with speech therapy or not.

3). I learned a lit about bone marrow donation this week. Be The Match contacted Mike by mail and told him he was a match for a 51 year old man with leukemia. He got too busy at work to call during the day so they called me and his Mother and finally Mike called them Friday. Saturday he had his blood drawn and a doctor will decide next week if he's a match enough for the patient. If he is, they'll decide how to extract the cells they need (either through blood draw ir marrow removal from his hip). Fun stuff! But Mike's happy he can help.

What about you, what did you learn? Share a gem with us in the Comments section below.
Friday, December 20, 2013

Gift Yourself with Beauty from Julep

Julep Beauty

You've been shopping for everyone else. Your kids, your spouse, the teachers, the bus driver, the mail person...what about gifting yourself? Liz has been a Julep Maven for three months now and enjoys every month's box of beauty goodness. Each month a beautiful box of beauty products shows up at her door (after she viewed the contents online and decided yes, I'll take them, or wait, I want more!). Nail colors you would not believe. Beauty products that make your skin, feet, hands, eyelids...glow.

Did you know that the monthly Julep Maven subscription is one of the best beauty deals available anywhere? 

Each month, Julep Mavens get:
  • Over $40 of products for just $20—customized for your style each month and delivered to your door
  • Flexibility to try one of our five beauty styles each month or upgrade to get them all
  • 20% off and free shipping on other products at Julep.com
  • Exclusive access to the Secret Store each month
  • First dibs on new products and promotions
You will earn 3% on all other sales including the Gift of Maven, Mystery Box sales, gift sets and individual products, too. During seasonal times Mavens hear about new deals before everyone else - for example, during their 12 Days of Gifting nail colors were discounted AND buy one get one. That's a lot of self gifting my friends.

So what are you waiting for? Try it out. Get a free box this month. If you're hooked on beauty goodness (and who wouldn't be?) then you can continue your subscription. If you're not, gift your box to someone else, put your subscription on pause, or even cancel it (but you won't want to). Become a Maven!
Thursday, December 19, 2013

Lugz Dahlia Zip Bood for Women - 10 Days of Christmas Giveaway Ends 12/31



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Co-hosted by:

Are you a shoe fashionista? Enter to win a pair of black women's Lugz to add to your collection!

One lucky winner will win

Lugz Dahlia Zip boot for Women Black


Details:
Dates Dec. 17 to Dec. 31

US. Resident only

All entries are optional

We appreciate the support of our co-hosts, please show your support by following them on their social medias pages.





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Disclaimer: Mamas Around the House is not responsible for the awarding of the prize.  If you have any questions about this giveaway, please email the host at nysavingspecials@gmail.com

Kidz Can Design Giveaway - 10 Days of Christmas Giveaway Ends 12/31



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Turn your child's drawing into jewelry or a decoration! Send Kidz Can Design their drawing and they will turn it into a pendant. What a fun giveaway! 

One lucky winner will win


You send the drawing and you will get the drawing on a 925 sterling silver pendant!



Details:
Dates Dec. 17 to Dec. 31

US. Resident only

All entries are optional

We appreciate the support of our co-hosts, please show your support by following them on their social medias pages.





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Disclaimer: Mamas Around the House is not responsible for the awarding of the prize.  If you have any questions about this giveaway, please email the host at nysavingspecials@gmail.com

Victoria's Secret Giveaway - 10 Days of Christmas Giveaway Ends 12/31



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Co-hosted by:

After the holidays wouldn't it be nice to buy yourself something? Maybe get something you wanted but didn't receive? Enter to win a Victoria's Secret gift card!

Two lucky winners will win

Victoria's Secret $50 GC each

Details:
Dates Dec. 17 to Dec. 31

US. Resident only

All entries are optional

We appreciate the support of our co-hosts, please show your support by following them on their social medias pages.



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Disclaimer: Mamas Around the House is not responsible for the awarding of the prize.  If you have any questions about this giveaway, please email the host at nysavingspecials@gmail.com

Smart & Sexy $50 Lingerie Gift Card Ends 12/31


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Lingerie - it's always a want, but never seems to be something we need. Now you can win $50 of "wants" from Smart & Sexy!

One lucky winner will win

$50 of lingerie from Smart & Sexy

Details:
Dates Dec. 17 to Dec. 31

US. Resident only

All entries are optional

We appreciate the support of our sponsor and co-hosts, please show your support by following them on their social medias pages.




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SockADoodle Cake Lingerie Maternity Nursing Bra Giveaway - 10 Days of Christmas Giveaway Ends 12/31



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New moms and soon-to-be moms - couldn't you use an extra nursing bra and a gift certificate? Be sure to enter! 

One lucky winner will win

plus a 10$ gift certificate

Sockadoodle.com is a new online designer accessory boutique selling stylish and functional accessories for the whole family; including socks, tights, leggings, maternity accessories, hair accessories, a monthly men's sock club, jewelry, handbags, and more! Proud to feature SmartKnitKIDS seamless socks and underwear for finicky children, Cake Lingerie- an award winning maternity line of bras, underwear, and pajamas, Huggalugs- adorable legwarmers for babies and kids, and many more designer brands. We offer free shipping in the US on all orders.... no minimum purchase required! Sockadoodle.com is happy to offer 20% off all purchases during the duration of the Giveaway, with code GIVEAWAY20

We will be giving away the fabulous Cake Lingerie Nude Convertible Nursing bra & as well as a 10$ Gift Certificate to shop at our online boutique:

 A celebrity favorite, Cake Lingerie is a beautiful line of maternity, pregnancy, and nursing lingerie that will make you feel more beautiful than you ever have in your life. This contour, creamy beige nursing bra is feminine and sophisticated. The polished texture of microfiber on the the outside of the maternity bra, combined with the softness of its pretty modal floral print lining, makes this the perfect everyday nursing bra. Winner will indicate size 32, 34, 36 or 38 and cup size: C, D, DD  Retail Value is 59$. 

Details:
Dates Dec. 17 to Dec. 31

US. Resident only

All entries are optional

We appreciate the support of our sponsor and co-hosts, please show your support by following them on their social medias pages.







a Rafflecopter giveaway 



Disclaimer: YOUR BLOG NAME is not responsible for the awarding of the prize.  If you have any questions about this giveaway, please email the host at nysavingspecials@gmail.com