Friday, October 4, 2013

How To Recognize a Parent - the Top 10 List

Want to know if someone's a parent? Here are some easy tell-tale signs.

1. They spell out cuss words or don't use them at all.

2. They hear ads for new kids movies and get excited, only to realize they haven't seen an adult movie (not a porn) in months.

3. They remind you to say please after a request (and apologize for reminding you sometimes).

4. Their Facebook reading list and movie list include things relating to Thomas the Train and Sesame Street, and read authors like Eric Carle.

5. They know all the characters' names on Dora and Jake and the Neverland Pirates. And have opinions about each one ("Mike the Knight is an a-hole").

6. These people can talk about bodily functions without turning red and without batting an eyelash.
Sage and his blue soap
Bath time!

7. Days turn into "naptime," "snacktime," "bathtime," and "bedtime" rather than noon, 5 pm, etc.

8. Scheduled activities revolve around naps and bath time ("Well we can't go because that's right at nap time. Thanks for the invite though!")

9. Target gives them coupons for formula, diapers, and kid food rather than adult items.

10. They talk about sleep (or the lack of it) A LOT.

What are some other "parentisms" you can think of?