Tuesday, September 24, 2013

A night out as a Mommy

During the day, my kids chat in the backseat while we run errands. I pick up on conversations about who's booger is bigger, and who's train is blacker and better. (Using their words) Chatting turns to arguing and then yelling (usually in that order) and then a 3 way tattle-telling session. While wanting to fling my arm in the backseat and hope to make contact with one of the turds back there, I instead reach for the radio. I turn up the beat, and start singing along in hopes they will follow.  And drowning out their voices is always a plus!

BUT...at night, it's a diff story. 

I went on a quick grocery run last night. 

First, I unlocked the car, and plopped in the drivers seat. Next, I turn around and check the backseat? Yes, a villain or serial killer could be waiting for me! I could secretly wish it would be a tan, six-pack stricken, blonde haired cabana boy handing me a margarita in a deep latino voice...but hey! Let's be REAL here! No killer, ok check! 

Second, I turn the radio down. who am I kidding? I turn that sucker completely off! I'm not gonna say I procrastinated while out, but I obey'ed ALL the rules of the road. I went the EXACT speed limit and yielded accordingly. I waited for the perfect parking spot, and got in the longest line after perusing the store. Did I mention I was in no rush? At 8 pm, long lines are slim pickings. It's all the single people headed home from the gym and stopping to get dinner. Like the guy in front of me who has bison meat, an onion, an apple, a Shiner Bock and Stride Gum in his basket. Hmmm....interesting. 

 Have you ever done that thing where your so deep in thought (in the silence of the car) and your arm flies up and hits the volume on the radio, and you almost ship your pants (Kmart commercial...YouTube it!)? The volume jolts from 0 to 20 and 'Super Bass' is suddenly blaring? Nobody needs that nonsense from you this late at night, Nicki Minaj! 

On the saddened drive home, I realize there's one thing I must do before I come into chaos. I realize there's one thing I CAN do. Alone. By myself. And be stingy! I pull into the gas station. Walking through the doors, I have no hesitation in grabbing a fountain Dr. Pepper with the left and a Reese's with the right. Lookout Valero customers, this girl is more sure of this than a prom date on prom night. 

Walking out to my car, I again unlock it. I plop in the seat just like before. The difference was this time, I had a childish grin. This was my moment. I was alone, with two devilish treats, and nobody was asking for a bite. After enjoying my moment, I started the car and drove home. I walked in the door to find 2 outta  4 kids in bed, a PO'ed teen, a crying baby, and a homework encompassed husband. I swooped up the baby, kissed the boys goodnight and then destroyed all evidence of my Reese's affair. It felt good. 

Until the next afternoon. 

Exercising was a b!tch.

It was worth it!