Thursday, January 9, 2014

Diary of a Mad Mommy

At my house, we believe in the multi-step approach in parenting. Asking, showing, and then telling.  This has worked in many different situations like cleaning rooms, unloading dishwashers, and even doing their own laundry. I try to teach my boys how to open doors for the next person. Looking out for the next person is an amazing quality that I think men should have. There's no surprise that this quality doesn't come natural to every man, so some must be taught to some. Whether it be filling up the wife's gas tank or picking up his clothes in the bathroom, all little tasks are appreciated when someone goes the extra mile to make life easier.

However, today was not a teaching-type day.

"I've left a friendly reminder for you all (boys) to remember what to do after using the toilet,"
Mommy's warning

"I, personally, do not want to fall in while trying to pee. If you all would like to see what a wet butt feels like while trying to squat and use the bathroom, I would be glad to remove all the seats in the house. The difference is, that I am used to squatting while peeing. You are all used to standing while peeing. Try squatting  and hovering while trying to poop."

No yelling, no screaming. Just a smooth calm voice was used this time. That's what scared me. My dad used to yell.  He was 'always' right. He would get so red in the face, that I could see jugular vein distention in his neck. I swear steam would come out of his ears. I did learn from him, though. That's the exact reason yelling didn't take place today. Every time I did something wrong as a child, I got yelled at. Therefore, I knew what was coming. Call my name, scream at me, run away crying, repeat. That walk of shame feeling was happening as I dragged my feet with my head down when I heard my name being called. The red hulk was about to unleash. 

Mommies shouldn't be a hulk, I think to myself. But, I will stay true to my word and follow through with the removal of a toilet seat if need be. One time of holding the squat position while utilizing the toilet should be a valuable lesson that a seat is a perk and not a necessity. 

Learn, my children. Please learn the easy way.