The Pregnant Woman Random Thought Generator phenomenon

I hate the way my brain doesn't work when I'm pregnant. I forget things, I hyper focus on other things....it's just not a reliable tool. I mean, if the activity isn't on my daily schedule, it just doesn't exist. One thing that I enjoy to do, mainly so I can laugh at myself later, is to jot down the random thoughts that pop into my brain a zillion times a day. The results are very Tina Fey in Baby Mama. Oh, you remember the scene: she's on a date with Greg Kinnear and she says that she dreams about random things, like an electric toilet. Yes....that's exactly what my thoughts are like. For your pleasure, I've even included the exact time I came up with that thought. Feel free to giggle.

-7am Wake-up: why was I dreaming about making grilled cheeses that could sing? I wonder if I ate one, then the baby could hear the sandwich in my stomach.
-7:30am: Huh. I don't remember making the lunches for the girls. Wouldn't it be cool if there was a robot designed to be a Mamas helper? I would soooo invest in one!
-8:30 driving  spawn to school: would you look at that? Someone left half a door on the side of the street. Ooh! Nice sidelights. I wish that door could talk and tell me where it had been. Isn't that a cartoon?
-8:50 having dropped off Pixy: seriously, how do these other moms manage to get dressed in designer duds with makeup on just to drop off their kids?! Ugh, I'm such a slob. At least, I smell good. Not that anyone is going to check.
-9:00 almost to Banshee's school: That cornfield doesn't look right. I think he alpaca farm next door is using up all the good corn and leaving the other stalks to dry up and look ugly. There's enough dry corn here to conceal albino-blonde scary kids in there. Oh God...why did I think of that now?
-9:25 dropped off Banshee: Dude, I seriously hope that the weird mom in her minivan isn't around. Nope. There she is. She isn't pregnant and she just missed driving into the bus by inches. What is going on with her? (By the way, she practically runs someone over daily).
-9:45 in the driveway: this child is bent on killing me. I'm sure he doesn't like me. I mean, dude, relax in there. I pigged out at breakfast. Surely, that will make you be gentle with me. Ugh.
-10am: I soooo don't want to wash all these damn cloth diapers right now. This boy will even wear the pink flowery ones. I am not buying all new ones for him.
-10:30 am while cleaning out the nursery: This baby will be here in a hot minute and nothing is ready. I'm still surrounded by boxes of junk that Goodwill won't want. If I throw everything out and start brand new, that will so solve my problems. Who can I get money from?
-11:15am: this is it!! The second my friendly neighborhood vamp asks me if I want immortality, I'm taking it. I'm getting old. Gonna ask if I can finish breastfeeding first.
-11:45 while picking up Banshee: I'm sure her teacher takes pity on me because she thinks I'm missing a few screws. I don't think any other Mom got a note reminding them there's no school tomorrow.
-12noon: Oh, it's lunch!! I'm so not gonna win the Mama of the year award, but if I make another Nutella sandwich for this child, I will go up in flames. Wasn't there a case of spontaneous combustion in TV just recently?
-12:30: I wonder if I really should write all these thoughts down. They're weird to me, even!! Huh. Will think on it.

What's going on? Sigh.

That's what the first half of my day is like. It's interesting, because I'm so not flaky and all of these thoughts are so unbelievably random. I just don't get it. According to the Sailor, I even talk about things in my sleep, which he has been recording for use later. Sigh..

Have you experienced the "Pregnant Woman Random Thought Generator" phenomenon? What are some of the random thoughts you come up with? Share and laugh...I mean, we know this state won't last forever, right? ;) 

Image courtesy of stock photos at FreeDigitalPhotos.net created by Stockimage

Does that make me crazy?

Road trip? Just the hubby, baby and I? Overnight? Baseball game? Sign me up coach! 

Wait..Scurrrrrt (tires screeching) Hold up!

As I start packing, this is what runs through my mind:

Wait, holy (insert favorite 4 letter word) do I have enough outfits and jammie's for Reagan? OMG what if she leaks through. Okay, I'll need atleast 3 more pairs. *Run back upstairs* What if the sun is in her eyes in the car? Crap, can she get sunburned through the windows of the car? Is that even possible? Car manufacturers must think of these things while building cars. Okay, think trip, Robyn...on the way out tomorrow, we'll need sunscreen too, just in case. Plus wipes because all we use at home is cloth ones, not disposables. We still need to look for a baseball T-Shirt to support my Texas Rangers, too. Geez, I should just go to the store now. Just suck it up and go this late at night. Oh wait, it's tax free weekend. The crowds will be insane. No getting in and getting out of these stores when Mexico has migrated up here for the weekend. Seriously at 9 at night, I'm sure there is a line of weirdos at Walmart with shorts on with their cheeks hanging out. Nope, not the ones on their faces! Butt cheeks, and maybe some frontal cleavage hanging out too. UGH! I almost lost my dinner. Something tells me 'bootylicious' is written across the cheeks of those daisy dukes (look a likes, posers!) in purple glitter that has been thru the wash too many times. Their all faded and straight up on a nasty mess of a girl who thinks she is sexy. Really, just a bath would make that retchet thing climb a notch up on the nasty tree that she's hanging from. Plus, there's bound to be only one teller open. You've seen her, and you get stuck in her line when you're in a hurry. It's that slow, retired, elderly woman who (moves like molasses) has a night job just so that she can talk to someone else besides her husband. She's so slow, it's like watching paint dry. It's torture!!! I'm sure she's been married for 60 years. She's done with snuggling up to her husband on the couch like during the 'newlywed' phase of marriage. They both have separate recliners on opposite sides of the living room now. He's going blind, she's nearly deaf. They battle back and forth of "WHAT?"'s and "SPEAK LOUDER YOU OLD BAG!" The two eat in silence at Jim's (best breakfast in Texas BTW!) 5 days a week. Wow, I never ate dinner. Sheez, I'm hungry! I could totally go for a western blend breakfast taco with a side of buttered hash browns and a cup of fresh strawberries with bananas tomorrow morning. That with a cup of coffee (decaf, remember? Still BF and want baby to sleep on the road trip tomorrow)mmmmmmmm...

Then, the thoughts just cease. I must've passed out on the couch, because I wake up in a pile of drool and a dry mouth from keeping it open (and probably snoring) for who knows how long. Thank goodness I didn't wake the baby! Better creep up the stairs, and snuggle with my hubby (who I can also hear snoring once I open the bedroom door), and relax before our first out of town trip with our daughter.

Maybe it's more exhausting for mommies just thinking about the mini vacay than actually going on it. Am I the only one that thinks like this, or is it validation of me actually being branded as crazy? 

Mommy note: **Everything went perfectly to plan on Reagan's first road trip! She even slept through the night! We had a blast while the boys got to get spoiled (rotten) by their grandparents**