Monday, July 18, 2011

My Littlest Best Friend’s Back – Kiddos Mirror Your Emotions

For eight days in June (June 8-16) I went to Kansas City for work. Before I left, Silas was my super best friend. He laughed at my silliness, he followed me around, and even called out to me sometimes. We always had a good time and I got lots of hugs and snuggles (except when he was teething but that’s a different story).

When I went to KC, I called the first night and Mike put me on speakerphone. Silas cried because Momma was in the phone. The second night he cried again. The third night he went to the front door when he heard my voice, and THEN he cried. So by day 4 we quit doing speakerphone because it upset him and he didn’t understand what was going on. Then I started worrying (ok, I was worried from day 1 that he’d be pissed at me when I got home). When I got home on a Thursday, Mike and Silas picked me up from the airport. I got in the car, Silas looked at me, and looked out the window. I was super excited to see him. I got an, “Oh, it’s you, ho hum” response. I just about cried on the spot.

For the next few days he cried when I left him at daycare in the mornings and he tried to follow me out the door. In the afternoons he ran to me when he saw me, hugged my legs, then went on his way playing again. If I picked him up, he’d scream and throw himself on the floor if I put him back down. At home if I asked for a hug or a kiss or a cuddle at night, he would ignore me, not look me in the eye, and go find Daddy. Ouch. Even as educated as I am about this stuff, I was still worried that I had hurt our relationship, and I was worried.

Apparently this worry showed on my face, and he was seeing it and mirroring what he saw in me back at me. So if I approached him tentatively, then he did the same (or moved away). If I half smiled or wasn’t silly momma (because silly momma was trying to figure out how to get her best friend back), then he didn’t grin big at me or play silly with me at dinner.

So after thinking about this for a while, I quit. I decided he would be fine with me at some point, I just had to be fun and funny and consistent and we’d be best friends again. So when I was with him I tried to push all the stress of work and everything else out of my head and just enjoy my time with him. I sat with him and taught him how to pet the puppies (which he is very good at now – “Soft, that’s right, soft”). I helped him put on his shoes by sitting him in front of me and asking him, “Does this shoe go on this foot? No way! Silly! Do we eat it? No way!” Just small silly stuff. I started making him give me a bite of his dinner (and he feeds it to me). Now he grins and shoves a piece at me while he’s eating (even if I just had one).

Last night Daddy came in and Silas offered him a piece of fruit (with chicken with BBQ sauce attached). Mike scrunched up his nose and said, “No, thank you.” Silas’ face turned inside out and he CRIED like you would not believe. He reached for me and gave me a hug (and patted me on the back) from his seat a few times, but even when Daddy came back in to the kitchen he still cried. When he got down from his seat he followed me around or yelled, “Mama?” from wherever he was to find me.

Apparently my son is sensitive to you not taking his gifts? And I’m pretty sure that we’re back to being BFFs. Yesterday he came and sat on my lap while I was sitting on the floor. He can also crawl up on the couch, and crawled up on the couch and got himself into my lap on the couch, head back on my shoulder. He was napping as I wrote this, but he woke up and I just heard, “Mama? All done!”

I have to go. My BFFs calling. I have to get all the best friend time I can before he’s an adolescent and thinks I’m not cool or something.


  1. A new visitor from Mom Bloggers Club. Love how our babies teach us so much.


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  3. It's so hard when their feelings are hurt and you don't have a quick fix. My toddler who just got a new baby sister is going through this sensitive faze right now.

  4. That's one of the reasons I'm not sure we will have a second Tracy. I kind of think I wouldn't have enough energy to be silly for 2!