What We Learned (March 16, 2014 edition)

Were your kids on break this week? After a fun week at home, the Mamas have a lot to write about. Well, Lisa wasn't at home, she was visiting family in Puerto Rico. So what did we learn this week?


Liz:
1) I had the week off for Spring Break so I enjoyed a few new things. First, I started watching Scandal on Netflix. I don't know how many people have told me, "You should watch it, you'd love it," and I've ignored them because I don't have time for another show. But this week I did. So I watched all of season 1 and half of season 2 so far and I am addicted. Love Olivia Pope.

2) I went away for a night with my amazing friend Michelle. We went to a hotel and spa near the house, but it was awesome to get away just for 18 hours. We had dinner, talked about purses and girly things, and I had my first massage. It was fantastic. I'm totally going again. And Mike and the kids didn't destroy the house while I was gone!

3) As I've talked about before, I'm a makeup lover. I have a ton of it but most of it I can't wear without taking allergy pills because it makes my eyes water, my nose run, and my head fill up (fun!). I was talking to the massage therapist and she said that most likely I was allergic to synthetic scents (as opposed to essential oils) and that I should look at makeup that didn't use synthetic scents to see how those did with my allergies. I went to Sephora (which I have decided is the devil) and am now in lust with Bare Minerals products.

Robyn:

1. I've learned that spending time getting done up is worth the hassle. My husband followed me into the gas station on Thursday night and said 'Wow, babe, there's not a swinging dick in this place that didn't notice when you walked in the door.' Damn straight! 

2. We took Reagan to SeaWorld for the first time, and she was amazed at the Azul show. (Dolphins, beluga whales, and synchronized swimmers). I'm looking forward to picnics in the park, and the hot days of summer at the baby water park! 

3. I've learned that spring break meant projects and hard work this week. The hubby fixed house stuff like drywall, texture, and painted. He repaired the wood on the front door and most importantly installed a back storm door that I've been asking for. As I get older, 'things' that are done for us are more important that gifts. Unless it's from Michael Kors. Then, it's debatable. 

Lisa:
1. Banshee decided that she would play a joke on me. She stuck her hands in cold water, waited for me to pull out an arm out of the covers and then....she attacked. I thought I was dying in a frozen wasteland. It. Was. Awesome. Yesterday's hippotherapy must have done miracles again for her to play a joke. It certainly taught us to appreciate all the little things again. Wow!

2. I realized how easy it is to jump back into a routine after it's been interrupted. For the girls, the trip to Puerto Rico was magical and they are not liking the cold weather right now. For me, despite hating the weather with a passion, it has been ok. I finished chores quickly in order to rest. It felt great to get it done so I could relax and get this cold over with.

3. I also learned that my kids are definitely growing up. I've been asked to teach Pixy to tie shoelaces. So, we've been working on that. Sigh! What next? Am I gonna have to teach her to use the curling iron? Sheesh! Stay tuned for a progress report on the shoelace thing. 😉

What about you? What fun things did you do, see, or learn? Share with us in the comments.

3 Kids and No Husband

"Is she alone?", asked the man in seat 5F.
"Yes. 3 kids and no husband," said his wife in seat 5A, as the man shook his head.

They were talking about me. There I was, on a plane to Puerto Rico with my spawn, on my own. It was a last minute trip. There was a mass and a family get together in remembrance of my father, who passed away this time last year. I had wanted to go but couldn't bring myself to justify buying tickets when we could use the money for something else. The Sailor, true to form, took a quick gig to get enough money to buy us tickets and off we went without him. Poor guy couldn't get off work.

As far as decisions go, it was totally fly-by...the girls have school and here I am taking them on a trip to Puerto Rico. Terrible of me to essentially teach them that playing hooky is OK but this really was a family obligation. I needed to be there. Needed to feel the closeness of my family and through them, feel like my Dad was there.

It seems that a combination of crazy winter weather, frustration with the busyness of our schedule, compounded by the frustration of the Sailor and I always doing things on our own, was just too much. Poor Cubby doesn't even know that he has feet since they're always covered in socks. <insert comment dripping with hate of the polar vortex here>. I needed out and I needed it bad.

So, there I was overhearing this conversation between this married couple(who incidentally were from Milwaukee, as in the same place where the Sailor is from. Can I ever get away from Milwaukee?). I think my initial reaction was to laugh at them. If they knew just how devoted the Sailor is, they wouldn't make a comment like that. My second reaction was mind your business. My third reaction was shock, I CAN hear you, and my last reaction was: I got this because the Sailor is confident that I can handle it all by myself and I'm a tough chick.

I reflected on their statement and also  my reactions, and I came up with this: if I was them looking at me, would I jump to conclusions? Would I judge the picture before me without hesitation? Would I even want to know the back story? The answer is: yes. I would want to know the back story and make a connection with the person before me. I would want to. I would not judge, or add my two cents , or think the worst because I knew that part of what they were thinking was: here we are on a plane in Puerto Rico and here is a Puerto Rican woman with lots of kids and alone, what a pity. Yup....I'd been judged and pitied in the time it took her to utter that one sentence: 3 kids and no husband.

I was in seat 6F holding Cubby in my lap, Banshee sitting in the middle, Pixy at the window, with my heart on my sleeve and I was being judged. Wow. Here's what I should have said: I can hear you and as I see you judge me, so let me share with you my story. My name is Lisa. My husband is in the Navy, he works very hard so that I can stay at home to take care of our children, one of whom is special needs. Guess which one.  He knew that I would forever be disappointed in myself if I didn't attempt this trip back home to attend this family mass and gathering in honor of my Dad. He passed away last year suddenly. I do everything on my own because my husband's work schedule keeps him busy. He is the first to rise and the last in bed, but he doesn't complain. This is why I do everything on my own. I need to take care of the homefront, so our family can be happy. I'm happy in my situation, don't pity me. Please support me. That's what I should have said. Get to know me before you judge me, even on a 3 hour flight to Puerto Rico. I will be buried in memories, as you bury your toes in the sand. It's what I should have said.

Instead, I laughed, shook my head as I did so, and held Cubby, as the girls asked me to help them open their animal crackers. Life it seemed, had gone back to our typical rhythm...with  some tropical flavor mixed in.




Photo courtesy of freedigitalphotos.net "Airplane Flying In Sky" by Stuart Miles

We've Been to Holland: ASD Children and Parties

I was nervous. Banshee had been invited to her very first bday party. This isn't a big deal but it was her first party without the Pixy accompanying her.

Naturally, we were both excited under the nervous shakes.  We don't get invited to lots of events like this, so I bought a cute gift for the b-day girl (a crayon roll from Amyzing Creations on etsy), added some bonus things (a couple coloring books, stickers, a princess wand) and put it in a cute bag decorated with Banshee's artwork. It was a gift we were both proud of for different reasons.

The day of the party came and Banshee asked Daddy to take her to the party. It was being held in Banshee's ballet school, so we didn't have to worry about it not being familiar and risking her shutting down on us. I reluctantly let them both go, nervous that Banshee would do ok and sad that I wouldn't get to be there to experience it with her.

I'm being brutally honest when I say that I worried that Banshee wouldn't participate, wouldn't want to eat the party food, would decide the sound was too loud and rock with her hands covering her ears, bury her face in her hands because the light was too bright, and perhaps the most prevalent of all Bansheeisms: she would decide to spin. Banshee can spin for pleasure for hours if you let her. She says that if you want to feel what happiness is, then you need to open your arms and spin. While I agree with her, especially when the music moves one to do so, it can get a bit frustrating when everyone else is learning to do a silly dance as a party activity.

I did some laundry, I tidied up, I read stories to Cubby, did some homeschool with Pixy, organized a bit and ...still, no report from the party by the Sailor. What was going on? I had prepped Banshee on proper party etiquette, told her to try not to be shy, dressed her in pretty party clothes...did I do enough? I started to feel like perhaps I'd failed her somehow.

Right when I couldn't take it anymore, Sailor texted me this:

Enjoying the birthday party!

This is Banshee playing dress up and taking pictures WITH her friends because they were all
Pretending to be supermodels. Not on the sidelines, not across the room.....she was in the group!!! I was so happy that I started to tear up a bit.

I asked Sailor for a full report, to which he answered: She is having a blast! Banshee's party manners are great, she's engaging with everyone. A little shy for their fashion show, so she started to rock a little, but she did it anyway! So so proud of her.

I read and re-read the text. Wow. What a brave girl, to do the very thing that is extremely difficult for her: to be social. As I waited for them to come home, with Cubby and Pixy ready to cheer for her, I recited a powerful saying that most parents of children on the autism spectrum say: Today, We've been to Holland (from a poem describing a typical child versus an ASD child as countries/vacations) and it was a very good day.

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What We Learned (March 9 Edition)

It's already the 2nd week of March. The weather is still wonky but hopefully we're moving out of the cold and into the spring. Flowers have already started blooming in Texas! There's hope! Every Sunday the Mamas post about what they learned this week and what they expeienced, and then we ask you, our amazing readers, to jump on the wagon and give us the dirt on what good things happened to you. Be sure to leave us some sunshine!

Robyn:
After our front loader needed the bearings replaced (because it sounded like a jet engine), I've learned that the 'upgraded model's difference is foam insulation. So, this week, I've learned to add the title of 'washing machine repair and upgrade man' to my husbands title.

We went antiquing this week, and I've learned that prices are completely negotiable. Towards the end when hubby was loading up some new (well new to us) office furniture, I added four more trinkets to our stash to take home. Totaling over $31, the clerk accepted the $20 I had in hand. So, negotiations do work, Try it out!

Within the past 3 months, our family has lost 4 people very close to us. It seems like life is too short to not take chances while working hard to be a success. With that being said, I am now an official business owner. I learned the process of starting a business through the courthouse, and am beginning to start the website. Stay tuned, great things are about to start happening. 

Lisa:
1. I managed to trade in my phone for a new one. This is huge because while I'm on the iPhone bandwagon, I became attached to my iPhone with its cool Jack Skellington. I have since gotten the new model which I needed badly and I'm learning to love it.

2. I found $10 in between the seats in my truck. What to do with this treasure?! I could buy a million zillion things!! I could but I will settle for a dollar menu treat to share with everyone.

3. I was able to trim Cubby's fingernails after the bloodbath that he created on my face. He scratched me so bad that I have a bit of a shiner. Little stinker! I usually stay on top of it but man...I'm never waiting this long again. I SHOULD know better. Pixy scratched my cornea with her baby nails and caused one of the worst eye injuries my ophthalmologist has ever seen. Sigh..... :)

Liz:
1. I should have invested in Teddy Grahams when they came out. Seriously. Both boys are crazy for "cookie bears" and will eat them for snack or dessert or whenever you want to throw them at them. Silas was like this with Goldfish at one point too. I know it's just a phase but dang if I shouldn't be buying boxes of these things a week.

2. I finally received my diploma in the mail - I now officially have all my "I graduated with my PhD" accoutrements. Now to find a place to get it framed nicely.

3. Before I had kids I was very much a purse and shoe person. I can't tell you how many Coach purses I had and sold after Silas was born because leather and babies is just not where it's at - I mean if something's going to vomit on your purse, it probably shouldn't be Coach. So I got rid of everything except two small black evening hand bags that sit, lonely, in my closet. A friend asked this week what I had bought myself for graduation and I thought, "Nothing. And I want nothing. Is that weird?" Yes, it is, she responded. So I started thinking, well a new work bag would be nice. And I haven't bought a new purse in almost 2 years, so maybe a bag? I started scoping ebay and ebags for deals and fell in love with Kate Spade's recent stuff. So after a small purse buying spree (that my Mom assisted on), I am done. But all those pretty "girls" (as my friend Michelle calls her purses) are so pretty to look at and drool over.

Now it's your turn - what's been amazing in your week?