Reality Female

Today our lovely Mama Lisa writes about reality TV and how it depicts women. What are your thoughts? Sound off in the comments!

Lately, I've been on an reality TV kick. I always watch Deadliest Catch and Wicked Tuna because they're cool, but I'm not taking about those. I'm talking about the shows where women act like maniacs. We all have that kind of crazier-than-spit days but we don't go so crazy that we start to beat each other with our fabulous Jimmy Choos. 

Enter Married to Medicine on Bravo. Holy hell! These 'ladies' dress up to the nines, flawless makeup ready, but put on furs only to pull their hair out and try to drown each other in a pool at a dinner party. Perhaps this isn't the most shocking part. The most shocking part is that this kind of behavior is now socially acceptable. Yes, it's totally cool to beat the snot out of each other because "she didn't invite me to her dinner party." Really?! Is that what the medicinal community in Atlanta is really like? Huh. I guess I'm out of the loop.

Then, there's Real Housewives of Atlanta. Siiiiigh! Don't get me wrong, I actually like the ladies. They are all interesting but when they go lunatic,

they make my brain hurt. Is this what ladies nowadays do? They call each other names, knock each other down, fight loudly, and belittle their significant other? Is there a new definition of 'lady' I don't know about? 

Here's what bothers me.  I don't like that this is accepted by the world at large as good behavior. I don't like that these women are representing women of color everywhere. I don't like that some small-minded idiot somewhere will turn on their TV and make all kinds of generalizations based on the behavior they witness by a select few on TV. Is this what we have come to? To let some producer or ratings decide how we will behave that day? Do we all change that much when in front of a camera? Wow.

I've often said that all women should seek to raise the rest up, to be a shoulder to lean on, to lend an ear, and be a model for the rest to follow and learn from. This is difficult when we are bombarded with images that say it is ok to be the opposite. Gone are the days of women banding together to achieve a common goal and be sisterly. Now it is perfectly ok to bitchslap someone just because they look at you funny. My question is: Why? Frustrating. 

Truth is, I'm watching a train wreck and I can't peel my eyes from it. I'm watching someone create a social experiment and infecting a select group(women) with new norms of behavior. The behavior is bad but you are still a lady. Doesn't matter that your husband just had to pry you off another female. Society says it's ok to do this. There are no consequences. Have at it.

Don't get me wrong, we are allowed as women to get mad at the world and rage. I just don't think that perpetuating bad behavior does us any favors as a group and as individuals. How can you be taken seriously otherwise?

Watching these shows kill me. They really do. I'm better off reading a book. Fifty shades, anyone? ;) 

Have you watched a reality TV show that made you upset? Do you think women are portrayed fairly? Sound off!

Embracing Ursula

Today Mama Lisa writes about Disney princesses - be sure to comment at the bottom to sound off about this topic!

I love Disney. I'm a card carrying member of D23, the official Disney fan club. This doesn't mean that when they do something I deem as ridiculous, I don't sound off on it.

Here's an example: I do not like that the only princesses of color are Pocahontas and Tiana. While they are awesome and we love them at our house, I wish there was a Latina princess somewhere in there. See what I mean? Not afraid to call them out. So when I saw this while checking my email, I was upset all over again. As upset as this wonderful poet was. 

Disney is always trying to come up with cool concepts. It's a way of life there. One of the cool concepts is to revamp certain characters, turn them into collectibles that are truly beautiful to behold. Villains are included in the revamp. Let me digress here to say that one of my favorite places to shop at Disney World, is the Villains boutique. I love everything about it! They have Maleficent makeup, the Mad Hatter's tea set, all things Jack Skellington (squeeee!), and every other villain you can think of. This is where the villain revamp and Ursula come in. 

I'm sure that you've seen The Little Mermaid and probably sang 'Under the Sea' more times than you can count by now. Ursula, the sea witch, is the villain in this film. She tricks Ariel into giving her her voice so that she can act out her plan to oust Triton from his rule of the sea. Here's the interesting part about Ursula and what ultimately makes her more than unique in the Disneyverse: Ursula is overweight. Take a minute and think back at all the villains, male and female, up to this point. Yup, ALL of then were characterized by their slim, gaunt, skeletal-thin figures. Thin embodied evil. Ursula was a groundbreaker, nevermind that her figure was modeled after an octopus. 

Imagine the outrage when the Disney Designer Collection came on the scene in 2012 with our awesomely evil Ursula revamped into, well, Kate Moss. It. Was. Shocking. 

Rephrase!!! It still is shocking. Why? There's no need to revamp these characters!! Why mess with perfection? I can't help but think that Ursula herself would be very pissed off at this transformation. If there is one thing that Ursula embodied was self-love. She rocked that black sheath dress like it was nobody's business! She had her face made up, rocked Jungle Red lipstick, had her nails done, and yes she got her hair to stay perfectly coiffed UNDERWATER!! Ursula loved every little bit of herself. It was obvious. She was perfect in her own eyes and even though she was evil, and had a well-pronounced muffin top and back rolls, she made it look good, honey! Ain't nobody taking her down. So, why would Disney turn her waif-like? How does this make sense?

Truth is, all of these companies that cater to children have bowed down to pressure to make their products fit what society deems beautiful: a size 0. Having a 36-24-36 figure is unheard of nowadays, nevermind having a body like Ursula's. Other toys that have gotten a revamp? All the cool 1980s toys/cartoons that we loved. Raggedy Ann, Strawberry Shortcake, My Little Pony(I so hate the Equestria Girls, it's not even funny), Rainbow Brite and even old school Disney princesses. Have you seen the new Cinderella? Siiiigh. 

I can't help but shake my head. One of the things that Disney prides itself on is that their products help promote confidence, pride in oneself, and to show that we are all beautiful in our differences. How is changing Ursula, the embodiment of all those concepts, embracing that? That is not right. Ursula doesn't need to be slim, Cruella doesn't need a facelift, and Maleficent doesn't need a new wardrobe. They might be evil but they love themselves. No matte what. In the end, isn't that really what we want to teach our kids? To love the mold they came in, with all its blemishes, hard angles, and soft curves no matter what? With no excuses? 

Here's the rub: we ALL need to take a page from Ursula's book. Maybe not from the freaky spell book but from her 'To thine own self be true' one. We need to embrace ourselves. Love our differences, all our back fat, our skinny bodies, our voluptuous fronts, our curly hair, our straight hair, apple bottoms, flat butts, skin tones....everything. We are all beautiful in our differences. What makes us more beautiful is when we own our molds. We embrace all of ourselves: the villain and the princess both. 

At our house, we love all the princesses. We do. We have a little more love for the ones that don't need a prince to fulfill them, the ones that March to their own beat, and the ones that read books. With all of that, we also love the villains at our house. They may their issues but when it comes to giving you a lesson that reaches your core, the villains do it best. It's ok to be the princess but given the choice, I'd rather we all embrace our inner Ursula. 

What do you think about character make over? Let us know! 

Owning the Snow Queen

I was called The Snow Queen in high school. I hated it. It was started by a friend of mine because he thought that I thought myself above everyone and a snob. So, I was a bit sad and anxious when the movie Frozen came out. Strong women were something to be made fun of, not celebrated. Every little girl was excited for that snow queen but all I could hear was the nastiness behind the name.

For the record, I never thought I was above anyone in high school. In fact, I hated being there. Sure, I had a nice group of friends since elementary school but I felt like I could do better learning things on my own at home. My parents were teachers in the local public school system and felt the need to practice what they preached, as it were. For the most part, my head was buried in books or I was busy writing stories, so I can see how that can come off as snooty but when approached, I was always a nice person. I just didn't have time for nonsense. Kind of like right now. 

I hated to be called The Snow Queen. My male friends would shiver when I walked by them and it was annoying as all hell. I would cock my eyebrow at them and they would act as if is frozen them on the spot. Not my fault that I didn't want to fit any sort of mold. Boys are idiots. Fast forward to Disney creating Queen Elsa, a snow queen, and I started to be afraid of her. Afraid of myself. Maybe there was something to the nickname? Doubt is a horrible thing.

The Sailor took the girls to see the movie and I was glad of it but nervous to hear about it all. Banshee loved the movie so much that she started to sing and talk about it all the time. Pixy was excited because she loved dancing to the music and said the story was amazing. Sailor loved it because he said Queen Elsa was strong and kicked butt, certainly a snow queen he could endorse. Huh. Really?

I decided to go and experience it for myself. This was not a Snow Queen to be mocked. She rocked and even though she doubted herself, doubted her strength, she didn't apologize for it once she felt comfortable in her skin. A smart, poised Snow Queen. Now, that's royalty I don't mind being compared to. 

That night, I shared with my girls the name I was called by friends in high school. Their reaction was priceless! Pixy said: "I'm glad you owned it, Mama. Strong ladies are awesome. I want to be like that." Banshee said:" Boys are jackasses." Yup, it looks like I passed on the qualities that I was mocked for to my two little Snow Queens in-training. I think I finally feel comfortable with that name. I owned my personal Snow Queen. Now, I need to look for a mountain and sing out my metamorphosis. What a win! 

Have you owned a nickname or name you were called in the past? How did you get there? Share with us! 

Photo courtesy of freedigitalphotos.net "Ice Queen" by Charisma