What We Learned (February 2nd Edition)

Every week we review, reflect, and recap our weeks. Tell us what you learned in the comments!

Liz:

1) After months of taking a "wait and see" approach to Sage's not talking, I went to his doctor and asked for a hearing evaluation. He assessed his hearing, his ears, and his behaviors and agreed that Sage is delayed in expressive language and gave me the Early Intervention (EI) referral I was willing to fight him for (without a fight). We have his EI evaluation February 13. After working for EI in MA for a while I'm excited to see what happens next.

2) Speaking of what happens next, you know how you take your car to the mechanic and it doesn't "make the noise?" Well Sage was true to form at the doctor's, no talking, no pointing, screaming fit if you said no...BUT the day after his appointment he said 3 words and now it's 1 or 2 new ones every day. Wednesday he waved and said, "Bye-ee Da-ee" as we left for school. Friday he said "football" and Saturday he chased a "ball ball." Thursday he brought me a toy and made an "Ehh?" sound as if asking me to play with it. This is also brand new. Apparently he now realizes I'm serious about this "you need to talk" bit.

3) I am so very glad every day that I have a job that I enjoy and that I can have fun at. While my students and I were chastized for disrupting other classes (OK, I was), we had fun competing for the title of Loudest Class and I think we did it with the most style.

4) When you're doing kickboxing at home don't do it on the carpet if you're wearing sneakers. It seems like a "No duh" but for weeks I couldn't understand why I couldn't move my feet as well as I could at my actual class. Der Liz.

Robyn:

1. I've learned that I need to associate public breast pumping with people. I've been so used to pumping at home, that I have no need to cover up! I should get used to it again, because the dude with the briefcase that walked by and looked in and smiled while I was pumping in the car...you're welcome, if you're into that sorta thing! 

2. I've learned that the smell on coins isn't actually the 'smell of money'. It's the oils and skin cells from everyone that has touched it before you. 

Lisa:

1. I went out on a date!! On an impulse, and thanks to Pixy having a half day, I took the three spawn to the Frozen sing along. We had a blast singing at the top of our lungs. Thankfully, Cubby slept throwing most of it. It helped me break out if the weekly routine. Here they are after we got home:

Girls post Frozen sing along

2. Animals, like children, know who they can trust. That's a saying I've heard many times over the years and this week, Nature proved it to me again. Cubby was screaming his head off at Kennedy Krieger, so I took him out to the truck to calm down and so he wouldn't disturb anyone. While I was nursing him, we had someone spy on us:

Bird watchER not watchING

Mr. Mockingbird braved the cold breeze and came to check that Cubby was all right. I sent him on his way quietly and assured him everything was all right. Nature rocks.

3. We've enrolled Pixy in aftercare at her school because I can't make it down from the city to pick her up at dismissal. I'm prepping her again on what to expect, just so she doesn't get sad. Unfortunately, with all the schedule conflicts, poor Pixy is the one dealing with the discrepancies. The cool thing is, she has friends at aftercare to play with and it is run by the most grandmotherly and sweetest nun ever. Just what Pixy needs to ease her abandonment issues. She's been having a tough time since my father's death. Hopefully, she will forgive me not being able to teleport places or have octopus genetics: "Mama, I'm always the one having to wait for you and Banshee and Cubby. Can we make them wait sometimes too?" You're breaking my heart, kid. Wish us luck!!

Now it's your turn - comment with something you learned below. We look forward to reading about your week!

An Ode to Bloggers

If you are a blogger who reads our posts (THANK YOU) then this post is for you. If you're not a blogger, read on to see what the experience is like.

In this season of gratitude, I (Liz) want to tell you that I am thankful for all the work bloggers do. This "glamorous" life we lead is filled with bumps and things you worry over, things you work hard on. Things like...

Writing good content.

Staying up late after your day job is done and/or the kids are in bed to write something you hope people will read (and enjoy).

Watching youe email for notifications of comments posted by readers (please? Let me know I'm not just writing to myself).
Responding to any (ANY) comments.
Reading other blogs and responding to their posts in a meaningful way.

Trying to think of ways to engage your readers on social media.

Moderating comments from trolls and/or discussions that may seem to be getting out of hand on social media.

Trying to understand Facebook's newest algorythm.

Chatting on blogger discussion boards about how to reach readers after the newest Facebook change.

Watching your Alexa score.

Hoping your Google Page Ranking will increase - you've been working hard for how long?!

Tracking your page views like some people track their weight.

Searching for giveaways to promote to get your readers cool prizes (and find new readers).
Posting on social media about your giveaways (and keeping track of how many times you've promoted what posts).

Many nights spent like this - so glamorous this blogging

Oh and writing good content.

Reviewing emails from companies asking you to promote their products.
Trying to decide if the product matches your readers and their interests.
Trying to build your subscriber list (list? what list?)
Keeping up with new social media strategies (Google + what? Buffer...hm...)
Making sure each post has a Pinable image (and Pining it).
Oh and keeping up with your Pinterest page.

Coming up with new post ideas.
Making sure someone else hasn't already written exactly what you want to write (and worrying that they have and you just didn't see it).
Keeping it positive (because nobody wants to read your crankiness, really)

Building your brand. Wait, I'm a brand? What is my brand?
Focusing on your niche (wait I'm in a niche?)
Finding ways to make your blog stand out in your niche.

All of these things and more go through a blogger's head on any given day. If you're a blogger, what else do you think about or work on? What did I miss? Leave me a comment to remind me of what I'm not focusing on that I should ;)

Thanks for reading, and again, if you're a blogger, keep at it. Blog for yourself. Write your good content. You'll go viral some day (maybe). And if not, well, make sure you enjoy what you're doing. Because if you don't, well, then why are you doing it?

What We Learned (November 24th edition)

Another week closer to the holidays? What did you learn this week? Big or small, it's all interesting!

Lisa:

Robyn and Liz learned that Lisa's been havibg contractions all week and completely off the hook. Love you!!!!

Robyn:

1. I've learned something new about men: "Having toe hair is masculine!" (Anonymous source) *Eww! Gag!*

2. I've learned that the saddest thing to see at the grocery store on a cold Saturday night, is a single elderly man (no ring on the finger) with a frozen lasagne and garlic bread, with a 40 of bud light in line waiting to check out. 

3. I've learned helicopter rides ROCK! My son turned 6 this week, and I took him on a helicopter tour of the city. He absolutely loved it! From now on, I'm convinced that memories should be made, instead of toys being given out for such occasions. 

Liz:

1) It's not something I just learned but something I observed firsthand - 3 year olds can hear it once and use it correctly. A family friend used the s-word at our house without thinking about small ears and Silas said, "S^%# my car's stuck" later that night. We asked what he just said and he replied, "Help? Help my car's stuck?" So he knows. He knows.

2) If you work hard people will ask you to do more work. Sometimes that's good and sometimes it's annoying.

3) I have found the crock pot love. I've been using it a lot in the last few weeks and Mike said, "Whatever comes out of this thing is really good." Sold! If you have an awesome recipe for me to try, leave a link in the comments. I'd love some new ones to try!

What about you, our lovely readers? What did you learn this week? Comment below and let us know!

Top Ten Mommy Student Experiences

I'm currently finishing my PhD in psychology. I'm actually finishing up my dissertation. The quick and dirty on that is that I've done a research study, gathered my data, written a large chunk of a book (which will end up about 200 pages), and now I'm finishing up my last two chapters. My first draft of my final two chapters was due last Friday. So what do you experience as a student Mommy?

1. You're working on your school work and the 3 year old comes in and finds a loose sheet of paper and grabs a marker. You can either give up and escort him out or risk him coloring something important. Either way, something bad is going to happen. There will be a tantrum if you try to uproot the child or you'll have a colored on study guide. You give up. For now.

2. It's easiest to do school work when the kids are in bed, for sure. But by 8:30 pm you're so tired because the 1 year old was up 4 times last night with a fever that you're more interested in sleep.

3. You lay in bed feeling guilty for not doing your homework tonight. 

4. You've broken 3 DVRs because you've overloaded them with your shows and kid shows. You intended to watch your shows but realize you're three weeks behind on The Glades and Perception and they've both ended for the summer.

5. You feel badly asking your significant other to watch the kids so you can work.

6. When you do take off to work you are barraged with calls of "Where's mommy? Mommmmmyyyy! Where arrrre you?"

7. Cooking dinner while reading a journal article seemed like a good idea at the time. Then you're frustrated, dinner's burned, the kids are screaming, "I wanna watch Mike the Knight!" and you're ordering pizza. And nobody got jack done.

8. Reading period. Now that's a joke. I took Advanced Inferential Statistics and wanted ball gags for everyone else and noise canceling headphones for myself. Instead you learn to skim while sitting on the toilet for 5 minutes until the small hand comes under the bathroom door. "Mommy?"

9. Cleaning involves running the vacuum on Saturday before the 1 year old's 11 am nap and the 3 year old's 1 pm nap. You are chased around the house by two dogs who decide to eat the vacuum and two little boys who cover their ears and cry. You vacuum around things rather than move them because really, who does that anyway? Every time you clean you think about how you should be studying and ponder hiring a cleaning service. Then you think about how you'd be embarrassed and feel the need to clean before the cleaner got there and really, that's just silly.

10. "Mommy you sit an watch Toy Story with me?" I can't today baby boy, Mommy has to do work. Guilt. Sadness. Remember, you're doing this to be a good role model and to provide for the Small People. So says your brain. But you still feel like crap.

Are you a Mommy or Daddy Student? What experiences have you had recently that I didn't put on the list?

I said No (and I Meant It)

You probably know at least one person who has this problem saying no, either at work or at home (or with their unruly kids). Erm look in the mirror - is that the person you were thinking of?

It is for me. Here's my problem: my brain wants to be busy (so yeah to all requests!) but my mental energy, my personality, needs a break every day. I can't go go go. I can't. I go to conferences for work and it's just people people people back to back insane and there's Liz...taking a break in her room.

If my calendar has one "extra" item (extra meaning not the classes I teach or office hours), I'm OK. Two extras...mmm three...errrr. Any higher and I go home and feel as if I have nothing left to give anyone. And this feeling of anxiety sits by my lungs and I just want to sit somewhere quiet by myself.

So that's the first problem. Here's the second: I'm apparently competent when I do say yes. People keep asking me to do stuff. Even when I'm not on contract (such as during the summer) I get asked to do stuff. 

And that leads to the third problem - I tend to say yes to everything people ask me to do (because I feel guilty if I don't). After Sage was born, I started recognizing how my behaviors influenced my stress and that influenced my home life, my stress, and my boys. Not cool.

If this is you too, how can we avoid the Over Yes-ing (when possible)? First, keep your calendar(s) up to date. I have my work Outlook, my Gmail (personal), and my paper schedule book (I love laper for some reason) all synced and updated. That way if anyone asks if I can do X, I can check what else I've got going on that day. If there's a conflict or it would send you over the edge energy-wise, suggest moving the date to a day you have clear (or clear-er). If that's not possible, think about the necessity of this event. You may be thinking, "Couldn't that take some time?" And you'd be right, so saying, "Let me get back to you by 3 pm by email" would give you that time to think about your role in this activity. Are you necessary? If not, would it be a work or career foible to say no? Is this an annual thing, could you offer to do the next one but just not this one? Could someone else do it (and stop thinking "but I'd do it better" - we're talking about decreasing your over-scheduling here). 

If the answers of the Magic 8Ball indicate that you must go, see if you can move around anything else that's scheduled. Tell your spouse that any expectations of you for that day are going to get sacked because you may be left with nothing energy-wise. Better yet, discuss with them your conundrum before agreeing to it (if possible). I am usually the one who picks up the boys after daycare - if I know my day is full, I will warn Mike and ask him what he wants fast-food wise for dinner.