What Should I Be When I Grow Up?

Please welcome fellow blogger Doyin from Daddy Doin' Work, one of my favorite blogs to read (and one of my favorite "daddy blogs" - a very special distinction). As we were talking on the blog's Facebook community about kids and sports and activities, he's written about his experiences and his daughter. I really appreciated his contribution and I hope you enjoy reading this. If you do, you should check out his blog and Facebook community.

Hi All! I’m honored that Liz asked me to guest post on her blog. To provide a little background, I’m the author of the daddy blog Daddy Doin’ Work and I’m the proud papa to a beautiful 18-month old baby girl. She’s a little young to give me any clues as to what activities she’ll be interested in as she grows older, but I already know how I plan to manage those interests once the time comes.

First, let me share a quick story. When I was growing up, there was an older kid (let's call him "Mike") who was good at baseball - really good. The only thing in question was how he became so good (no, I’m not implying that he used steroids). Every day after school, his dad would make him practice hitting, fielding, throwing, etc. until the kid damn near passed out. Sure, Mike was the star of his baseball teams as he grew up - but once he made it to High School, he lost all of his passion for the game and he quit on the spot. By his dad immersing his son in baseball 24/7, Mike's grades suffered, he lacked balance, and he became extremely bitter and angry. I’m not sure what he’s up to today, but I’ve heard that he and his father have not spoken in years.

All due to respect to Nike, but I don't want my kid to "be like Mike." Don't get me wrong here, this cautionary tale isn't something that happens often - it's just something that I'll do everything in my power to prevent against. As the days progress, I think about what activities my baby girl will be interested in and the guidelines that I’ll follow to ensure she does so happily. Here's my short list.

Never Push, Only Guide: Selfishly speaking, I want my daughter to play sports because I personally don't think there's anything out there that better teaches children how to work together to achieve a common goal, deal with adversity, and win graciously than athletics. However, I'm not going to be that dad who makes his kid sleep with a basketball every night in hopes that she'll compete in the 2032 Olympics. My goal is to simply present her with the available options and let her choose accordingly. If my daughter chooses to go to Math Camp instead of Soccer Camp, that's totally cool with me too - as long as she's happy. Additionally, it's important that she makes these choices at her own pace. If I push her to do something too quickly, she could very easily burn out and become resentful like Mike did. 

Don't Quit: When my parents signed me up for something that I wanted to try (swimming lessons, piano lessons, basketball, baseball, etc.), they did so on one condition: I could not quit. Don't get me wrong, if the activity compromised my health and/or welfare - they would pull me out of it in a heartbeat. What they wouldn't tolerate is if I wanted to quit due to not liking my teacher, coach, or teammates. They knew that in life, I would have bosses and co-workers that I couldn't stand - and I'd have to "man up" and deal with them. No matter what activities my daughter chooses to participate in, the "Don't Quit" rule will be in full effect.

Add Value: Raising a knucklehead who sits on the street corner after school will absolutely not happen on my watch. The main thing I want for my daughter is to add value to her friends, family, and community with her activities. If she excels academically, I would love to see her tutor other children. If she’s active in the community, I'd love to see her clean up area beaches on a weekend. If she's a leader, I’d love to see her run for student council. Quite frankly, this world needs more people in it who choose to add value, and I hope that she figures this out on her own.

I know that my daughter is only 18-months old and she's not showing any signs of doing anything other than saying, "No!" to everything. However, her health and happiness are by far the most important things to me and I’ll do whatever it takes to get her there at her own pace.

But first, I’m going to teach her how to hit a curve ball (literally and figuratively).

Doyin shares his unique and hilarious adventures as a loving new dad on his blog, on Twitter at @daddydoinwork, and Facebook.

Me, the Guest Blogger Over at Rockin' Green!

If you cloth diaper (CD) or use natural laundry products, check out Rockin' Green Cloth Diaper Detergent . Today they posted my guest blog post about going back to work when your babes are in cloth - there are some suggestions for how to find a daycare and how to do some community education about cloth diapering. Show RnG some love!

Guest Blogger Jena’s Note to Herself

Welcome to our first guest blogger, Jena! Fantastic job and great message about the choices we make when starting to cloth diaper.

Dear self of seven months ago:


I know you’re absolutely confused and overwhelmed by the variety of cloth diapers available out there. You’re actually paralyzed by the fear of making the wrong decision for the baby you’re about to meet, and you know that’s silly, but knowing it’s silly doesn’t help you become able to make your first decision about which diapers to buy. Well, second—you already made the decision to use cloth. Good choice, by the way—you’re going to love them.

See, here’s the thing. It’s kind of hard to make a wrong choice with cloth diapers, unless you order a bunch of huge diapers and forget she (yes, it’s a girl) is going to be pretty small at birth, which of course you wouldn’t do. Know what would suck? What would suck is to not have those diapers laundered and waiting for her when you two come home from the hospital. Especially since she’s going to arrive a week earlier than you would’ve thought to expect her.

You’re very lucky a friend gave you her first diaper stash—she took some of the weight off your shoulders. Those diapers will last for the first few months, and you’re going to love prefolds on your newborn girl, and you’d like to kiss the man who invented Snappis, because it means you don’t have to deal with those big clumsy pins. So you got eighteen or so newborn size prefolds, half a dozen covers (in x-small, small, and one-size), a dozen size one hemp fitteds and another half dozen size one cotton fitteds, plus a couple small all-in-ones and one one-size pocket diapers.

Choice is a good thing, when you’re not terrified of somehow screwing up something for your kid. And no, you wouldn’t have chosen the prefolds, because they’re just not as cute as some of the other diapers, but once they have a cover on them, they’re still adorable and they’re cheap. If your friend hadn’t loaned them to you, I’d advise you to start your stash with them anyway. Besides, the newborn size only fits about a month and then you’ll be using the trimmer fitteds.

Later, when friends can’t figure out which diapers to register for or purchase themselves for the first few months, you’re going to recommend at least twenty-four prefolds and three Snappis for the more budget-restricted and a combination of prefolds and hemp fitteds and covers for those with a not-so-restricted budget. You’ve heard that some pocket diapers work well on newborns, but you’re not convinced. They’d probably be a lot bulkier than you would’ve liked on your baby (and the prefolds were pretty darn bulky).

But you’re going to feel like such a wimp down the road, when you think of all those times you almost bought diapers but didn’t because they might be “wrong” for the baby. You won’t know if you don’t try; you don’t have to order a ton of them, but you might consider ordering with friends to get some of those buy-in-bulk deals, some of which are really good. Read reviews where possible, but go with your gut. When you have a question, find a site with a cloth diapering forum or discussion board and ask—or just Google it; I’m sure someone’s already asked it. Search for sales; cloth diaper sales do exist, often on those sale-a-day sites. In fact, you’re going to purchase your first pocket diapers through one of those sites. (Oh, and when you order, consider ordering extras as gifts for friends.)

When your daughter is almost six months old, you’ll be using three different brands of pocket diapers. You’ll only have two all-in-ones exclusively for your diaper bag (remember when you thought you’d want mostly all-in-ones?). You’re hooked. You can’t wait to pick out which diapers you’re going to order next. And your little girl looks adorable in them, like you knew she would.

Don’t worry. You can do this.

Love,
You


Jena lives in British Columbia, Canada, with her husband and their first baby, who was born Christmas morning and has been nothing but a delight since she arrived.