A Story of Whining and Babies…

For the past few months I have had no energy to write, and with good reason. November 14, 2011 (on my birthday) Mike and I found out we were expecting again. I spent the next six months visiting doctors, hanging out in ERs, conversing with on-call doctors at night, and being in a lot of pain (on top of being tired, of course). We were excited but more than a little apprehensive about my medical issues.

After Silas was born my OB told me that while she would help me have another baby, she didn’t suggest it, so none of my medical professionals were especially excited about me having another baby. I started my shots (anti-coagulants due to having a stroke in 2008) and they actually increased the dosage because apparently I had a lot of clotting issues during my last pregnancy that were revealed after Si was born. Over the next few months I experienced a bladder/cervix prolapse (Google it if you don’t know what it is, I don’t need to describe it here) at 15 weeks, bleeding at 23 weeks, and contractions from 25 weeks onward. It was as if every time I turned around something was going on, I had to explain my medical issues to another medical professional, and I was in a lot of pain. I tried not to complain as I’m sure that Mike got tired of it really quickly, but it was difficult. And not wanting to be a crankypants prego person, I didn’t call my doctor about all these things when I should have because, well, I was pregnant, and pain is just part of the package right?

Then at 34 weeks things got kind of crazy – Wednesday night I started feeling massive pain on my left side by my pelvis. My brain said, “Contractions start at the top and roll down so it’s not a contraction. Lovely, a new pain to deal with.” It came and went though, but when it came, I was on the couch breathing and whistling the pain away. And then it went away and I went to bed. Thursday the same crap started around 1 p.m. I took a nap. It stopped and then started again after Si’s bedtime. Mike offered to take me to the hospital and a friend was waiting to take care of Si for us if we needed to go, but I still wasn’t convinced “it” was bad. Plus we had doctors’ appointments on Friday morning and afternoon. Friday we saw the perinatologist and they put me on the NST (non-stress test looking for contractions) and sent me home, even though my pain had started at 9 a.m. that day. I do have to say that my pain was pretty low when we were in their office though. Mike and I had lunch, and then we went to the OB’s office. My pain was back and so bad by then that I was crying uncontrollably every few minutes. They took me into the office 45 minutes before my appointment and put me on their NST. I swear they took me out of the waiting room so the other pregos didn’t see me crying and in pain.The OB came in from the hospital, looked at my NST, and decided to check my cervix. Five minutes later I was in a wheelchair being wheeled to Labor and Delivery – at 35 weeks exactly I was dilated to 5 centimeters and 80% effaced. Those pains WERE contractions apparently.

I checked myself in to L&D while Mike went back to the doctor’s office to get the car (and my bags which I had packed just in case). They got me settled into a delivery room, and Mike left to pick up Silas from school and to get him situated at home with a friend. A nurse did all my paperwork on the computer while she monitored my contractions. The anesthesiologist came in to do my epidural. A seemingly unflappable man, he had done my epi with Silas as well, and he hadn’t changed. Still he had no sense of humor. “If you got to 5 cm without meds why are you getting an epidural?” he asked. “If you can promise me that the next 5 cm will only be, oh, twice as bad as the pain was to get to 5 cm, then I won’t take one,” I responded. He looked perplexed. “I’m joking. I avoid pain at all costs,” I told him. What the heck dude. Lighten up. Just a little.

The nurses checked in on me and over the next five hours my contractions remained constant but my body stalled out at 7 cm. Bring on the pitocin. Now mind you I was still sitting in L&D, you know, in active labor, by myself. My BFF showed up around 6 and Mike came back around 7, but I have to say it’s a little weird to sit in a room, by yourself, and think, “And I’m having a baby?” So I texted and posted on Facebook and called people. I’m sorry if I offended anyone – there were pain meds involved. At 11:45 or so the nurse checked and I was still only 7.5 cm even on pitocin. My epi was wearing down so I asked her to ask Mr. Happy to come back and give me a little more. He came back, pushed a little more epi, and reminded me that it could take 15-20 minutes to kick in. Everyone walked out again. Mike and Missy were trying to sleep since we didn’t know what time The Boi would arrive. And then there was this weird…sensation and I literally felt like the baby was crowning. “Mike. Go get the nurse and have her come check me.” “She just checked you like 5 minutes ago.” I gave him The Look. He went to get the nurse. She didn’t believe me either, but she did as she was asked. “Seriously?” She asked. “How did you go from being 7.5 to 10 cm in just a couple of minutes?” And then it was on – everyone ran for everyone else and I tried not to dwell on the fact that nobody believed me. And my epi hadn’t kicked back in yet. Rockin.

 Having a baby early is pretty scary, but honestly it didn’t really kick in that he was early until he was born. I felt this amazing release of pain (because, you know, the epi hadn’t kicked in) but there was no sound – no screaming child. I held my breath waiting for him to breathe. And he did. And then he screamed. And then I could breathe. The whole night I had been the picture of “I’m fine, no problems!” but as soon as he screamed, I cried and the random thoughts started. Pregnancy was all over. My last pregnancy was all over. And my son was a preemie. Nobody ever prepares for that (ok maybe some parents who have had preemies before do because they worry their other kids will be early). And he was going to the NICU. While I have lots of experience and knowledge about babies, infants, toddlers, children, parenting…hell, I teach child psychology…I had nothing on preemies. Except I knew that a lot of them stayed in the NICU until they were supposed to be born (37-38 weeks). The NICU freaked me out. My son wouldn’t room in with me at the hospital. I would probably go home without him. The cloth diapers I had prepared for him (the few they were – because, you know, I thought I had 3 more weeks) definitely wouldn’t fit his tiny tush. The random things you think about after having a baby.

But he was here. Sage Orion was born Saturday, June 16 at 12:32 a.m. 6 lbs and 3 ounces, somewhere between 20 and 21.5 inches long (nobody ever got the same measurement). And then we became NICU parents. Stay tuned for the next installment as we learned about NICU life and preemie babies (who rock).

 Thanks for reading. I’m going to go get some sleep while Sage sleeps. Send wishes for a 4-hour sleep span. Please.

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Natural Skincare? You Betcha! *And A Giveaway*

I’m a skincare product aficionado, I admit it. I’ve gone through who knows how many products that guarantee this or that, and most of them don’t really do the job the say they will (or I get frustrated and move on). At the age of 35, I’ve found that I’m more into ease of use and the natural qualities of my products than anything else. I’ve also found that I see things on my skin (lines mostly) that just make me cringe when I see myself smile in pictures or in the mirror.

It is possible to make your own skincare “stuff.” Goodmorning America talked to Dr. Jennifer Ashton and she gave some fantastic suggestions – using coconut oil for the face, safflower oil for the body, olive oil for the hair, and sugar scrubs to exfoliate (combining sugar, milk, and honey). She also suggests mixing sugar, honey, milk, and oatmeal for a weekly fifteen-minute facial mask. Some of us don’t have the time to put this stuff together (or we’re lazy which I’ll admit to), so we want to buy the products ready made for us. Here I can give you two suggestions for amazing companies with amazing products.

Lush

Every few years I find myself refocusing on my skin (and sometimes makeup) and buying more products (that get used then put in the box under the bathroom sink…a box which is pretty dang big and overflowing). I feel as if I can’t throw anything that’s not empty away! These past few months I’ve been using a lot of products from Lush, a handmade skin care company out of Canada that uses organic fruits and vegetables, essential oils, and safe synthetics in their products. I love that many of their products are vegan and that they use minimal packaging (that is recyclable).

So what are some of my favorite Lush products? I’ve been using their Aromaco deodorant bar and Coconut powder for anti-perspiring/scent. I love the Snow Fairy shower gel (it smells like cotton candy and has sparkles in it, how fun) and The Godmother soap (same scent as Snow Fairy) – they make my whole bathroom smell fabulous. I’ve also been using Lemony Flutter (designed as a cuticle cream but good for hands and elbows that are dry) with mixed results. I probably won’t buy that one again although Mike likes using it on his hands after he’s been working in the ceramics lab all day. Hair? I’ve been using Godiva Shampoo Bar (never tried solid shampoo? It’s pretty cool, I have to admit) which has a lot of cocoa and shea butter to mosturize. Mike uses the Cynthia Sylvia Stout, which helps with dry scalp but does NOT make hair poofy (which is one of his mail beefs with most shampoos for dry scalp). He’s still using it, so that right there says something! I also use R&B, which is a leave in conditioner – it helps with poofy curly hair especially in our high humidity area.

What about for my face? Well, I start off after washing my face with Tea Tree Water, and then I use Enchanted Eye Cream around my eyes and Lovely Jubblies (usually for use with skin on the chest) all around my face/chin/neck. After just a month of using these three I can tell you that my skin looks awesome – even (healthy) tone, no issues with oil or dry patches, and the little bumps under my chin (which I assume were due to soap residue) are gone. I also have some Pow Wow which is a lip scrub that can be useful especially in the morning to get the ugh off your lips which builds up overnight. It’s supposedly infused with caffeine too which could be helpful. I’ve used it a bunch of times and honestly don’t see a huge difference (although it tastes good).

My final and full favorite? Toothy Tabs. Yessir, solid toothpaste. Think that’s weird? We did too. So you get this small cardboard box that looks like a mint box, and inside are a bunch of, well, mint-looking things. Don’t suck on them, they’re not mints. You chew them up with your front teeth and then use them to brush your teeth. They lather just as well as your tube toothpaste and create a heck of a lot less waste. Mike isn’t a huge fan because there’s no fluoride in them. Check out your local Lush store/counter for lots of different flavors!

Delish Naturals

Also from Canada (hm…I see a natural skincare pattern) comes Delish Naturals created and produced by Krystal Clark. I actually received some Delish-ious Baby and Body Lotion as a Christmas gift, and loved it, so I started looking into her other products. The fabulous things about the Lotion are that a) it’s not greasy (I hate greasy lotion, that’s my #1 reason to stop using anything), and b) it’s a good “smell level” – some stuff is so overpowering that you’re thinking, who could wear this and not get a migraine?! But my Black Raspberry Vanilla is just a hint and I love it. Also fabulous? I can use it on Silas if I so choose (which I have with our dry weather) and not worry because it’s all natural.

Delish caries a lot of skin stuff for both mama and baby. Krystal created these products after her daughter was born and experienced skin troubles like eczema. She wanted to use natural ingredients and cloth diaper friendly materials to help her daughter, so she experimented and studied and came up with Yum Yum Butter (their most popular product). So CD-friendly diaper cream? Check. Bump butter for prego mamas? Check. Natural bug sprays and balms? Check. Sugar scrubs, shampoos, oh my! My current favorites are the Glam Glow Brown Sugar Scrub, the Baby and Body Lotion, and Pucker (lip happiness!). You can order from Delish’s Hyenacart or you can check out her retailers (both Canada and US) and of course browse the retailers’ other wares. Oh my PayPal account hurts…

Where do you find the best natural skincare products or suggestions?

Want to win a tub of Yum Yum Butter (which is good for diaper rash and other skin issues for the entire family)? Complete the following:

1. Make sure you’ve “liked” us on Facebook.
2. Like Delish Naturals on Facebook.
3. Fill out the entry form (which requires you to go to Delish's Hyenacart store and pick a favorite Yum Yum Butter scent).
4. A winner will be chosen randomly on January 15th at 11:59 p.m., so that gives you just over two weeks to enter. The winner will be emailed for their shipping information once the giveaway ends.
5. Smell fabulous and natural!

Thanks for all your support you guys.
Love,
Liz

**These product reviews were all written by me because I love these products and for no other reason than that. I was not paid to write these reviews, nor was I given these products to review. These are all my views and not based upon anything but my own personal experience with these products.**

Now That’s A Manager

From the film 300:
Stelios: “It’s an honor to die at your side.”
Leonidas: “It’s an honor to have lived at yours.”

Mike’s watching TV tonight, flipping back and forth between 300 and 3:10 to Yuma, and I heard this exchange and it got me thinking. That’s some good management right there. Yeah, I’m a geek.

Every semester we talk about applications of psychology to my students’ future lives (work, family, etc.), and one thing we hit hard is management. Whether you like to admit it or not, in the work environment for the rest of your life you will either be managed or be a manager (or probably do a little of both at once). When we talk to people, when we watch people interact, we realize that one thing that they crave, that they NEED, to make them content is recognition. The Kudos bar from the boss in their publicly-visible mailbox will make an employee high for the week more so than any bonus or raise (wait, did I just say that money won’t make you happy?). Because it’s about me. ME (points to chest and pokes happily).

So take a look at the 300 quote again – now do you see what I was talking about? Even in death, the King told someone else (NOT the King) that they appreciated their life and serving beside them (also that death was not the important part of their experience but that living/working together was, so the process of work was more important, but we won’t go there tonight). And people wonder why all these guys died for Leonidas. Well? He was a good leader.

My students generally want to know how they can take what they learn in my classes and use it in “life” and we can even take this a step further – every day you will interact with other people, whether it be your boss, your significant other, your children, your parents. If we know that people want to be recognized and it makes them happy if you do so, take a look at your relationships with others. Where could you (and those around you) benefit from this? Would your significant other be happier, even marginally, if you actually told them you appreciated them and/or appreciated specific things that they did? You’re darn right they would. And the happier they are, theoretically, they happier they’ll be around you (and the happier you’ll be). Win/win.

Who can you “recognize” today and tomorrow? How can you put a smile on someone’s face just by telling them that you’ve seen what they’ve done and you appreciate their work and them as a person?

7 Reasons Silence is Important for Kids

So much of our day is impacted by sound and activity. Silence and quiet time are important for both adults and children though. Check out this article as to why silence is important and how to help yourself (and your children) learn to enjoy quiet time.

7 Reasons Silence is Important for Kids from eNanny Source

How do you help your children to unwind and enjoy silence?